Unhewn Throne 01 - The Emperor's Blades(90)

“What in ’Shael’s name—,” he began, reaching out for her.

She recoiled violently, jerking back. “Don’t touch me,” she said, voice hard but abstracted, as though she were speaking from the depth of sleep.

Valyn fell back against the pillow, eyes burning, heart hammering in his chest. “I asked Ren,” he said. “He told me you were fine.”

“Fine?” she asked, glancing down at her hands as though seeing them for the first time. “Yeah, I suppose I’m fine.”

“What happened to you?” Valyn demanded, reaching out a hand once more.

She turned to the window, ripped a scab off her knuckle, and flicked it out into the night.

“Got careless,” she said finally.

“Bullshit, Lin,” Valyn snapped. “You didn’t get those bruises tripping on the trail. Now, what in Hull’s name happened up there?”

The fire in his voice burned away her lassitude at last, and she met his anger with her own. “Sami Yurl and Balendin Ainhoa happened,” she replied grimly, her mouth twisting into a scowl or a sob. “They were both up on the west bluffs.”

“And they did—” He waved a hand weakly toward her face. “—this?” His hand curled into a hard fist. “Those bastards. Those ’Shael-spawned, ’Kent-kissing bastards. I knew I shouldn’t have let—”

She started laughing then, a low, ugly laugh. “Let me what? Let me walk around the Islands by myself? Let me go out after dark?” She shook her head. “Maybe you shouldn’t let me play with sharp things?”

“I didn’t mean it that way—,” he began, then stopped, a sickening thought boiling up inside him. “They didn’t—” He wasn’t sure how to say the words. “Did they—?”

“Rape me?” she said, raising a bruised eyebrow. “Is that what you want to ask? If they raped me?”

He nodded silently, dumb before the possibility.

She turned and spat out the narrow window. “No, Valyn,” she said. “They didn’t f*cking rape me.”

Relief washed through him. “Well, that’s—”

“That’s what?” she snarled. “Good? It’s good that they didn’t rip my blacks off and f*ck me? What a solace!” Lamplight flickered in her eyes as though they had caught fire. “They shoved my face in the dirt, slashed me across the ribs, broke my nose and probably a rib, but at least my precious cunt is intact.”

“Lin—,” he began.

“Oh, f*ck you, Valyn, you idiot,” she spat. She was crying, he realized, but the words came out fast and sharp. “The point is they could have done whatever they wanted. They could have raped me, or killed me, tossed my body in the ocean. Whatever. There was nothing I could do to stop them.” She took a long, shuddering breath, then scrubbed away the tears with the back of her hand.

“Why?” Valyn asked. “Why did they do it?”

“They said it was payback,” she said, the sobs and the fury suddenly gone, replaced by a flat monotone. “Said it was to remind me what happens when someone steps into the ring against them.”

“But they won the fight,” Valyn said, his mind spinning.

“They won, all right,” Lin replied, nodding wearily. “They won, and they won, and they won.”

“I should have been there,” Valyn said, struggling to sit up.

“What is wrong with you?” she demanded. “Are you listening to me at all?” She turned slowly to face him. “Honest to Hull, in some ways you’re just as bad as those two bastards.”

The words stabbed him more viciously than the wound in his shoulder. “What? I’m saying I wanted to help you, to have your back.”

She took another deep breath, then spoke to him slowly, as though to a stupid child. “They attacked me because I stepped outside the boundaries they set up for me, because I wouldn’t behave.” She shook her head again wearily. “And now you’re doing the same thing, telling me I shouldn’t go here or there, telling me that I should check with you before I lace up my ’Kent-kissing breeches.”

“All right,” Valyn said. “Fine. I get it. I’m sorry.”

“No,” she replied. “You do not get it. You cannot follow me everywhere. You cannot watch me every night while I sleep.”