Unforgettable (Cloverleigh Farms #5)(24)

I groaned, squeezing my eyes shut. “Why didn’t you say something?”

“Because I didn’t want you to know, obviously.”

“God, now I feel like an even bigger prick.”

“Tyler, I can’t be the only rookie you initiated.”

“You were different.”

That made her smile. “Are you saying you wouldn’t have done it?”

I thought for a second. “Nah, I probably still would have done it. But I might have tried to make it last a little longer.”

She dug into the ice cream again. “It was pretty quick.”

I groaned again.

“But you were a gentleman, as far as I was concerned. And it’s not like I knew any better back then.” She started laughing. “I mean, after all, your nickname was ‘The Rifle.’”

“Because I pitched fast, dammit!”

“Oh, come on, that’s funny. Admit it.” She leaned over and nudged me with her shoulder. “And I was glad you were my first, despite everything.”

I ran a hand through my hair, sat up a little taller. “Good. But I just want it on the record”—I held out one hand—“I have learned some self-control in the ensuing years. And some skills. Some very valuable skills.”

“Duly noted,” April said with a nod. “Now let’s talk about your feelings.”

I frowned and picked up my beer. “Do we have to?”

“Yes. You’re very angry.”

“Don’t I have a right to be? You saw it tonight. I feel like I can’t turn a corner without someone telling me how great I was, what a shame it is that my career ended the way it did, or wondering why, for the love of God, I just couldn’t relax and throw the ball.”

“So tell them to fuck off.”

“I do. All the time.”

“But then you have to actually let it go.”

I exhaled. “That’s a lot harder. Because deep down, I’m asking myself the same damn thing.”

“Okay, so what’s next? Look ahead. If you can’t play ball anymore, what are you going to do to show everyone that you’re still a badass?”

Um, put my tongue between your legs? But I didn’t say that. What I said was, “I’ve got no idea.”

“Hmm. You need some clarity.”

What I needed was her naked body against mine. That moan in my ear. “You think?”

“Yes. And some inner peace. Deep down you’re craving it.”

Deep down I was craving a taste of her pussy, but I didn’t think I should mention it. “Okay.”

“Maybe you should try yoga,” she suggested. “Learn to find your center.”

The only center I wanted to find was hers. “Yoga? No way.”

“Well, we have to think of something to decrease your stress level. What about sex?”

I froze. “What about it?”

“Does it relax you?”

“You know, you don’t have to try to fix me. I’m fine.” And you definitely shouldn’t talk about sex—I’m hanging on to gentleman by a very thin thread here.

She sighed dramatically and held up her hands in surrender. “Okay, okay. I’ll stop bothering you.”

“Thank you. You know, when you’re not trying to poke at my feelings, hanging out with you tonight is the most fun I’ve had in a long time.”

Her face lit up. “Really?”

“Really.”

Her cheeks turned pink and her dimples appeared, making me even warmer beneath my clothes. “That makes me feel good.”

“Here you go.” Jacie appeared and dropped off the check, which I grabbed before April could get her hands on it, although she tried, getting up on her knees and practically crawling onto my lap.

“Will you stop?” I held it way out of her reach with my right hand. “This is on me.”

“No! You don’t have to buy my dinner.”

“I know I don’t.”

“This is my family’s restaurant!”

“Don’t care.”

“Can we at least split it?”

“Fuck off. See? I said it.”

“I didn’t mean say it to me!” She laughed and made one final lunge for the small leather folder that sent her sprawling across my thighs.

Snaring her waist with my left arm, I set her upright again, tucked firmly against my side. “Hey. Enough. You’re gonna knock those candles off the table and set us on fire.”

She stopped struggling, but I didn’t let her go.

Our eyes locked. We were practically nose to nose. I could see the quick rise and fall of her chest. One easy slant of my head, and I’d know the taste of bourbon and cherries on her lips. If it were any other night, any other circumstance, any other girl, I’d have kissed her.

But it was April, and I couldn’t.

Tonight was my opportunity to do the right thing, be a better man—the kind of man my sister thought I was. Maybe I had been a selfish asshole back then, but I didn’t have to keep fucking up this friendship. April mattered to me, and I needed to act like it this time.

I released her from my grip and took my wallet from my back pocket. “Let me get this paid. They’re probably ready to get rid of us by now.”