Unexpected Gift(76)

Posie’s hand lands on my face. It is wet and slimy. “You are so gross, but I love you.” I kiss her arm, and she kicks her legs out, happy and full of energy.

“Uncle Caden has some explaining to do, doesn’t he?” I rub the apples of her cheeks with my fingers. I don’t have a husband, but now, with Caden going on dates with random women, we will have to figure out a schedule for him to see her. “This is the part where you tell me I told you so.”

She blows raspberries at me, spewing spit all over my face. “That’s about right. Thank you for that.” I wipe my face off, grimacing when a big blob of spit hangs off my finger. “So, gross.” I sit in the driver’s seat and give one last glance toward the front door of the grill.

“I should have freaking known better.” I reach my arm around the passenger seat and turn around to look out the back window. I’m one of those people who doesn’t use the fancy rearview camera. I don’t trust it. And half the time, mine freezes when I back up. I need a new car, but that is far down on my list of things to get when I have Posie to look after. Especially if I am about to become a single parent. Not that I’m not single now. It’s just complicated. “I hate complicated. Don’t you, Posie?” The trees blur together as I speed down the highway, back to the house that Caden bought.

I might need to start looking for a place to live on my own. The ride back home is quick. I snap out of my daze when I turn down the road to the house. Wow, I’m already home. I can’t even remember where my mind wandered off to. I check the rearview mirror to see Posie yawn, and I check the clock and see that it is time for her nap. The breaks squeak as they slow the car, and I put it in park.

I take a deep breath, leaning my head against the seat. I keep my hands on the wheel and try to relax, but I can’t. Caden isn’t meant to be part of this kind of life. He is the guy that everyone wants, and everyone wants to be. Chaining him down to something domestic isn’t realistic. He isn’t meant to be. He likes to flirt. He likes to go out.

The thought of him with another woman makes my skin crawl and stomach turn. The past month has been nothing but ups and downs. My eyes hurt from creating tears, but they will not stop pouring down my face. I step out of the car to feel the storm’s wind blow across my face. Thunder rolls in the sky, and the clouds get larger and darker, threatening rain.

I unclip Posie from her carseat and make my way up the steps and unlock the door, setting my purse down on the cherry wood coffee table. I take Posie to her playpen. “I’ll be right back, sweet girl.” I lean down and kiss her forehead as she yawns again, closing her big brown eyes. They seem to run in the family.

I go to the bathroom and notice the red light flashing on the answering machine. My parents usually leave a message on here because apparently calling our cell phones increases the probability of us answering. I don’t know what is going on with them, but whatever they are dealing with, they need to get it together because Posie needs her grandparents.

I press play, waiting to hear my mom’s voice. When a man’s voice replaces it, I pay more attention, staring at the machine as if it is actually talking to me.

“Hi, Dr. Jackson. It’s Dr. Rawlings. I couldn’t get you on your cell phone, so I called the next number on your file. I heard from San Diego. I know I told you that you have until the end of the week, but they need an answer by tomorrow. I’m sorry for the rush. I know you said you have a lot to think about, and I don’t mean to pressure you, but they need an answer. Sooner rather than later. I’ll see tomorrow. Bye.”

“What?” I rewind the message and play it again. Is that why he wants to meet me? To tell me that? If that is the case, why was he talking to another woman? The better part of me mocks my decisions because I knew before we jumped into bed together that I may not be able to trust him. I will never forget the look in his eyes as he stared at the redhead from the bar.

It doesn’t matter now since he is leaving, apparently. The answering machines beeps, signaling the end of the message. I turn, brokenhearted and in a trance, as I float to the couch and sit down. I stare at the high ceilings, wondering where it all went wrong. I don’t regret giving myself to Caden. I’ll never regret that. He makes me feel like a powerful, sexual woman—something I have never felt before. He was gentle, kind, and attentive, and isn’t that all that matters?

“Pity party over. The laundry isn’t going to do itself.” I push myself up from the couch and walk toward the basement door, flipping the light switch on. The light illuminates the carpeted steps, leading down to the dark cavern.

“I hate basements.” I shiver when my foot lands on the first step. The air is colder, wrapping around me like snow during a blizzard. I run down the steps and hurry to the laundry room, throwing the clothes in the dryer and dash back up the stairs, careful not the slam the door behind me. It’s so creepy down there. And it isn’t just our basement—it’s all basements.

Even the fear of the basement doesn’t deter my heart from sinking when I think of Caden. I try to busy myself—cleaning the house, folding clothes, and editing a manuscript. I go to my purse and grab my phone at which point I see ten messages and five missed calls from Caden. I sigh, sliding all of the notifications off the screen. I don’t feel like dealing with him at the moment. I don’t want to deal with the lies and sugarcoating he will do. I know him. He knows he can charm the panties off anyone he wants, probably men included if he were into that kind of thing. He isn’t, but I’m just trying to make a point.