Unexpected Gift(74)
“Good. That’s good, because what I am about to tell you... well, I hope it doesn’t deter you from that.”
“What’s going on, Dr. Rawlings?”
He clears his throat, the chair squeaking as he leans back. “Ever since you came here, we have had patients from all over the world come to Glendive specifically. And your mortality rate is so low. You don’t lose many patients.”
“I’ve lost four within the last month, Dr.Rawlings.”
“I saw those patient profiles. You were trying to give them life when they didn’t have much time anyway. There would have been no way to get those tumors and leave clean margins. You aren’t a god. You’re a doctor. But the number of people you help, compared to the number of people who die? You are an extraordinary surgeon and losing you would look very bad for this hospital. I know we are small, and we aren’t very award-winning, considering we are in the middle of nowhere—”
“—What are you saying?”
“I’ll give you a salary increase. It won’t be much, but I’ll let you create your own schedule or have more time off.” He fumbles through all the paperwork on his desk, searching for something. “Give me a minute. It’s in here somewhere.”
“Dr. Rawlings. Slow down, please. What are you talking about?”
“It’s here. Just give me a second, okay?”
“Dr. Rawlings!” I raise my voice, and he finally peers up at me, lifting his brows.
“I guess it really was just a matter of time before you got a better offer. Know there is always a place for you for here.”
“Okay, not to be rude, but can you stop with the vague answers?”
“I got a call from San Diego General. They asked about you.” He slips a piece of paper from a thin folder and gives it to me.
“This is a job offer.” I keep reading the letter and my eyes widen. “They are offering me the opportunity to be Chief of Neurosurgery! Are you serious?”
“I know. It’s pretty amazing.”
“It’s the dream. It’s been my dream since med school.”
“It’s the dream,” he repeats, folding his hands in front of him. “You’re going to take it, aren’t you?”
“Of cou—” I catch myself, remembering the reason why I came to this town in the first place. “I don’t know. I didn’t come here for this job. No offense, Dr. Rawlings.”
“I understand. This isn’t anyone’s first choice. Small town. Nothing to do. I get it. What brought you here then? If you don’t mind me asking.”
I scratch my cheek, sighing. “I came here because of what my best friend wanted in his will.”
“I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you. I had to agree to come here and help raise his daughter.”
“Ah, so there are complications in making the decision?”
“There are many reasons to decline, yes.” I stare at the offer letter, but I can’t find a start date or when they need to know. “Did they tell you when they need an answer by?”
“Yes. By the end of the week. I know I shouldn’t be happy about your anguish, but I am. I really want you to stay.”
“End of the week, huh?”
“End of the week.”
Not a big deal. That’s only three days from now. “Thank you, Dr. Rawlings. You’ll hear from me soon. If you don’t mind, I’m going to head out early. I need to call Molly. My, uh, the other person who is watching Posie, my friend’s daughter. If I go, we all go.”
“It’s a big decision.”
“You could say that, yeah. Thanks for this.” I hold up the paper and stand to leave.
His voice stops me. “You deserve it. You’re young, but I’ve never seen such talent in all my years of practicing.”
I nod and walk out of the door in a trance. I put all my dreams and goals behind me when Brandon died. This isn’t supposed to be an option anymore. Molly isn’t going to want to leave. She isn’t going to leave. They are buried here. I don’t think I can leave them either. All of them.
“Oh, no. I don’t like that look,” Nancy says.
“Yeah.” I hold my face in my hands and sigh, trying to think of another alternative solution. “I don’t know what to do, Nancy.”
She takes the paper from my hand, and her brows raise as she reads it. “I guess you’ll still be working on the happy ending, won’t you?”
“Looks like it.”
“I know it is hard right now, but it will all work out.” Her name gets called over the pager. “I need to go, but if you ever want to talk, you know where to find me.” Nancy runs down the hall to the room that needs her, leaving me alone, staring at the paper laying in front of me. Things are about to change.
“Fuck,” I say as I hang my head, lacing my fingers behind my neck. “It’s going to be fine,” I tell myself and stand up straight. I pull my phone out from my coat pocket and send a text to Molly, telling her to meet me at the Glendive Grill and Bar in the next hour. I want to get the conversation over with. I don’t have it in me to wait until later. My stomach is a mess of nerves and anticipation. A little bit of dread, too. Excitement, for sure, but all of it mixed together makes me feel sick.