Underneath the Sycamore Tree(30)

Trying to swallow past the swell of emotion in my throat, I blink back sudden tears and shake my head. I’ve never believed in signs until Lo passed away and now they’re everywhere—in the sunshine, my music playlist, and in the sky after a rainstorm.

Cam notices what I’m looking at and gently rubs my back. “How much?” she asks the older woman manning the booth.

“Five dollars.”

Cam pulls out her wallet and I don’t stop her. I used some of the money Dad gave me on new sweaters and a movie I’ve wanted to see because Cam kept insisting I treat myself.

I take the bracelet from its hook and grasp it in my palm like I’m afraid it’ll disappear. I’ve broken beaded bracelets like this so easily in the past. I don’t want to harm it.

Cam helps me put it on, clicking the clasp in place and smiling at me. “It’s perfect.”

Yeah, I want to say. Perfect.



Dad asks if I had fun. Cam insists I show him my purchases, and he tries to act interested as I hold everything up. I can tell he isn’t, even though he nods along.

When Cam points to my bracelet, his lips flatten just long enough for me to notice. I don’t need to tell him the importance. He must know it was Mama’s song for Lo and me.

Kaiden comes into the kitchen with an empty glass and notices what Dad is looking at. His eyes train on the little letters, his body language stilling in the middle of the room before he goes about his business. From the corner of my eye, I see his lips twitch before going neutral again.

I want to be angry with him, especially when he glances at Cam without a word. Part of me wants to yell, to throw something at him. He needs to stop being an ass and accept that his father is gone and not coming back, but his mother is here and living and willing to love him unconditionally. Doesn’t he get that unconditional love is hard to come by?

Instead, I watch him walk out of the room with a single head nod toward Cam. That’s all she gets. A nod.

My teeth grind.

“I’ll go put these in the washer,” she tells me quietly, collecting my clothes. I want to stop her and say I’ll worry about it later. Dad just shakes his head at me like he knows what I’m thinking.

Cam needs space.

Cam leaves.

Dad tips his chin toward my bracelet. “I like it. It’s…fitting.”

I want to ask him how. Would he answer if I did? He could just be making polite conversation. It’s foreign for us, but he’s trying. At least he’s doing what Kaiden can’t.

I swallow. “I love it.”

I love her.

“I know you do,” he whispers.

I shift on my feet.

“Your hair looks good.” His compliment surprises me. “It makes you look older.”

Does he think I look like Mama too?

“Thank you.”

My voice is quiet as I toy with my shirt sleeve, unsure of what to say. We haven’t talked, really talked, at all. We would exchange tiny conversations and basic pleasantries like I’m his coworker rather than his daughter.

I never minded it.

Maybe I should.

“Do you do stuff with Kaiden?”

His brows arch wide on his forehead.

Clearing my throat, I rub my wrist. “I think it might be good for him. Cam and I had fun and it didn’t take much. Maybe you and him…”

I have no suggestions. I don’t know what Dad likes or what Kaiden does. In fact, I’m sure they share no common interests. But maybe what Kaiden needs is somebody to fill a void. Dad is by no means a model of the perfect father figure, but he could be.

He could…change.

Maybe.

“I haven’t considered it.”

“Why?”

He’s at a loss for words.

Not surprising.

“I think he needs…” Someone. I blow out a tiny breath and shrug. “Never mind. I’m not sure what he needs.”

Dad sits back and looks like he’s considering what I’m saying. “You two could be good for each other. I know he’s not your sister…” My heart stops. “…but he’s the same age. I’m sure you share more common interests than he and I do.”

Is he suggesting I hang out with him? I’m not sure he understands where I’m coming from. Either that, or he doesn’t want to play the father figure to anyone.

Jaw ticking with irritation, I avoid eye contact. “Everyone needs a parent to be in their corner. I’m not saying Cam isn’t, but maybe he’ll be more apt if someone else is until he gets over whatever it is he’s—”

A door slamming startles me from finishing.

Kaiden.

My shoulders tense. “Forget about it.”

He stands when I begin turning. “I’m not dismissing what you’re saying, Emery. I just think it’s important to know that you two get along. You’re not actually siblings, but you both could find comfort from the past.”

The past.

In order for Kaiden to seek comfort, he has to accept he lost someone. I know Lo is dead and not coming back, no matter what I need to tell myself to cement that she’s better off than she was. Kaiden isn’t that strong. He’s latching on to a could have been situation that doesn’t even exist.

He’s delusional.