Underneath the Sycamore Tree(13)

I sit beside Kaiden, drawing my knees to my chest. Resting my chin against the top of them, I blow out a long breath until the ache in my chest lightens. Suddenly, breathing doesn’t seem so hard, so I close my eyes and let the wind and shade caress me into calmness.

“Your father is an asshole,” he says.

I don’t argue with him.

“Sorry about … shit, you know.”

My lips twitch upward. I guess he doesn’t do well with apologies either. “She was my best friend,” I tell him.

I’m not sure he cares, but I need to tell someone about her. If not today, someday. Not talking about Lo would do her memory injustice.

I lean against the tree trunk and exhale a slow breath when I feel the scratchiness against my back. The discomfort eases me into a familiarity of summer afternoons with Lo in the woods. “Did my Dad really not say anything?”

He clears his throat. “No.”

Pressing my lips together, I nod.

What I said back in the restaurant is probably true. I’ve thought about all the reasons he left, theorized what made him stay away, and hated him a little more each day for it. Normally I wouldn’t say a thing, but it’s been years of bottling up every thought and feeling toward the man who couldn’t even support us when Lo died.

“I’m not sure why he took me in.”

The doubt is making sure its presence is known and it’s justified. Dad couldn’t waste more than mere minutes on me before now, so I have no clue why he bothered picking up the phone when I reached out for a very last minute unexpected third call of the year. I never thought he’d say yes to moving in with him.

Finally, I glance over at Kaiden. He watches me with something sparking in his eyes. I’m not sure if it’s good or bad because he gives nothing away.

Swallowing, I shake my head. “I found out he was remarried through a friend of the family. This older woman was gossiping at the grocery store when I went to pick up paper plates.” I surprise myself by laughing. “Weird that I remember what I was getting, huh? I was in the aisle trying to choose between the off brand or name brand with little blue flowers on the edges of both. Then I heard Mrs. Wallaby tell someone in the next aisle that she heard about Dad getting married to a ‘pretty young woman with a son of her own.’ She said it must be nice to get a fresh start and new chance at a family.”

My lips pull down at the corners. Mrs. Wallaby turned the corner and saw me staring with tears flooding my cheeks. She didn’t try to apologize, just stood frozen and guilty when she realized I must have heard.

Kaiden shifts next to me, visibly uncomfortable by my story. “I don’t usually come here to talk.”

What does he do then?

Thinking of the possibilities, my cheeks tint at the probable answers. “Oh.”

He chuckles. “I come here to think.”

Double oh.

I can see why he’d come here for that. It’s quiet, isolated. The perfect spot for someone to sort through their thoughts if they needed to.

The conversation isn’t the best one to have with him anyway. I’m not angry at him. I’m angry at Dad. Plus, Kaiden didn’t ask for me to invade his space. I bulldozed my way into their home—the home they’ve been building for years just the three of them.

“What really happened to your eye?” I ask in a soft voice.

His tongue clicks. “Got into a fight with someone over some shit talking. No big deal.”

Knowing it’s all I’ll get from him for now, I nod. “Who’s Riley?”

His entire body freezes. “Where did you hear that name?”

His voice is rough, like it’s a subject I shouldn’t have changed to. Cursing myself, I nibble my bottom lip. “Some girls were talking about him at lunch. It just seemed like something had happened, because I’ve heard his name a lot lately.”

In the halls on the way to class.

In the cafeteria.

Riley is a hot topic.

“Riley is a girl,” he murmurs after a stretch of time that I figured he’d use to talk his way out of answering. “She doesn’t go here anymore. Left after some rumors spread.”

I frown. “What rumors?”

His jaw ticks. “People kept giving her shit about her body type. Had an eating disorder or something and got caught throwing up in the bathrooms. Rumors got pretty bad. She … it doesn’t matter. She doesn’t go here anymore.”

“So she transferred out?”

He hums.

I think about all the times people glance at me before saying her name, like we’re connected somehow. But I don’t ask Kaiden about it anymore because he’s clearly shutting down. I’m shocked I got as much as I did as is.

Kaiden draws one leg up, so it’s bent at the knee. He drapes his arm over it and looks at me with distant eyes. “I am curious about something.”

I hold my breath.

He grins. “Which paper plates did you buy?”

A relieved laugh bubbles from my lips.

“I didn’t buy either.”

We fall back into silence.



At some point I fall asleep. I only know this because I’m pressed against a warm wall of hard muscle that smells faintly like cedar and cinnamon. Christmas trees and cookies. Kaiden grumbles as we near his car, but I can’t make out the words. I’m tired—too tired to tell him to put me down. I close my eyes and nuzzle into the warmth, feeling him tense.