Underneath the Sycamore Tree(11)

Cam tries drawing us back together, but the smile she offers is distant. “I ordered your favorite, Kaiden. I even asked them to put hot sauce on the side for the fajitas.”

Kaiden peels his gaze from me to his mother, lips pinched. “I wish you’d stop assuming I like the food here. Did you even ask Emery if she liked Mexican?”

While I appreciate his point, I don’t like being used as a means to verbally attack his mother. She’s trying. “It’s really—”

His eyes cut to mine. “Do you?”

Dad intervenes. “Emery loves Mexican food. She used to demand it all the time when she was little.”

My heart cracks when I realize he’s talking about Logan. She used to demand we order Mexican food. It was her who always wanted tacos for dinner and nachos for dessert.

“That was Lo,” I say quietly.

Kaiden snorts. “Who the hell is Lo, and what kind of ridiculous name is that?”

The crack in my heart expands a little wider. “Who’s…?” My eyes slowly lift to Dad’s in question, like I misheard Kaiden’s rude question regarding the existence of my other half.

Cam gasps. “Kaiden!”

“Dad?” I whisper brokenly.

His shoulders tense. “Emery…”

“Don’t you talk about her?”

“Em—”

“Why doesn’t it surprise me that you wouldn’t say anything about her?” Pushing back against the table, I go to stand right as Kaiden opens his big mouth again.

“What’s crawled up your ass?”

Cam covers her mouth with her palm and tears prick my eyes. Jerking the chair so it scrapes loudly against the floor and causes people to stare, I stand up.

Dad mimics me. “Sit down, Emery.”

“Don’t bother to start telling me what to do now just because your image looks bad. I mean, that’s probably why you left. Right? You were afraid what having a sick kid would do to the squeaky clean family-man reputation you have going on.”

“Emery,” Dad warns under his breath.

Cam reaches out. “Henry—”

I grab my phone from the table. “It must really suck that you weren’t happy stuck in an imperfect family. I wonder what your old coworkers thought when they found out Lo died. Did they know she was sick? You never took time off when the doctor appointments started. Mama told you something was wrong, and you always said you had to work like having a career meant more than having a daughter.”

Kaiden swears.

Anger bubbles through me. “You want to know how Mama is doing, Dad? She’s terrible. She hasn’t verbally spoken one word to me since I moved, which isn’t much different than how it was when I lived with her and Grandma. She wasn’t the same when we buried Logan. Whenever she sees me…”

She sees a dead girl.

Tears threaten to spill, so I shake my head and walk around my chair.

“Where are you going?” Dad calls out.

Yet, he doesn’t move to stop me.

I laugh sardonically but don’t answer.

I’m halfway down the street when I hear tires slowing down behind me. Part of me is shocked Dad would chase me down. I remember all the times I was younger and he never made an effort. He’d miss dance recitals and family dinners and everything in between because of work. His coworkers never met us, especially not when Lo started acting funny, and Mama never went out with him to work functions. He was ashamed of us. Maybe still is.

When a car stops beside me, it isn’t Dad’s. My steps falter when I see Kaiden leaning down to see me from the open passenger window. He pushes on the door.

“Get in.”

I blink. A car honks from behind him before passing, visibly irritated as they give us the finger like Kaiden isn’t pulled off to the side of the road.

“Emery, get in the fucking car.”

Glancing back at the faded restaurant behind us, I wonder if Dad and Cam are cancelling our food or waiting for it to go. Are they even going to come out? To go home? To search? It’s doubtful.

Not knowing what else to do, I slip into his car and close the door. Walking home would cause me twice as much pain. There’s no way I’d be able to get out of bed tomorrow.

He tells me to buckle up before pulling away, not even giving me one look. It’s fine by me, because I’d prefer staring out the window so he can’t see the tears dampening my cheeks. Wiping them away is no use because the more I replay what just happened, the more that fall.

Dad never told them about Lo.

About his dead daughter.

Maybe I should give him the benefit of the doubt like Grandma told me to give Mama. I know that everyone grieves differently, but Dad acts like nothing even happened. How could he pretend as though Lo never existed?

When we get closer to the house, he doesn’t take the turn. Instead, he goes straight and stays on the main road leading out of the small city. There’s no music, only the sound of the wind against the car and the distant sound of traffic filling the silence.

“Where are we going?”

“Not home.” He pauses. “Yet.”

I want to tell him that’s a bad idea, but maybe it isn’t. Maybe it’s exactly what we need. At least me. I’m still not sure what Kaiden needs, and I think he likes staying mysterious.