Under the Table(52)
Zoey had heard his speech before, more times than she could count. But he had managed to accomplish all the things she insisted he do, something she never thought possible. And he had done them quietly, without grandstanding. Took those painful steps alone toward her. For her. She thought about all the times he had called her and ended up snapping at her when she accused him. He was battling his demons, maybe trying to reach out to her for support. Now he was here, with his hat in hand and on a singular mission, to win her back.
But then there was Tristan. Sweet, sexy, chivalrous-to-a-fault Tristan. They had no real history. There had been no declarations of love, just a gradual buildup of attraction that inevitably exploded in passion. He didn’t even stick around long enough to fight for her. That alone said something. He had gone through changes too, but his changes were all for and about himself. Tristan had only begun to tap into his potential. Even if he did have strong feelings for her, what were the odds that they were going to last? Didn’t he deserve the opportunity to experience all that was out there? Did she really want to spend her life walking him through the paces of the modern world?
When Derek spoke up again Zoey was forced to stop thinking before she could get to her own answer.
“Look, Zoey, I know Ruth said I could stay the night, but I want to go home now. And I want you to come with me. I don’t want to pressure you, but if you’ve given this as much thought as I have over the past year, it should be an easy choice to make. I love you so much, but more than that, I care for you and want to take care of you. I know I can be a better man with you by my side.”
He had said every single thing she had always longed to hear, because he already knew all her soft spots. And he was right, there was no reason for her to wait until morning. After all the legitimate sacrifices he had made, she owed it to them both to give their marriage another chance.
“Let me gather my things,” she said, without any enthusiasm.
It was close enough to yes for Derek, but he made no moves to seal it with a kiss. He didn’t even try to touch her.
“I promise you won’t regret it,” he told her confidently. “If you make it quick, we may even make it home before midnight.”
Zoey went to the bedroom to throw everything she owned into the same suitcase she had arrived with, while Derek watched TV on the futon. Her movements were systematic and almost robotic, refusing to focus on anything other than the task at hand. Until she began packing her magic bag of spices. She ran her fingers over the tattered leather and fought back an unexpected wave of tears. She’d had such optimism when she’d bought it, so many dreams she was sure she would fulfill. She shook her head, angry at herself, and zipped up the suitcase. Then she sat on the edge of the bed and pulled out her phone. She knew she didn’t have much time. After texting Ruth that Derek was taking her back home, she found Tristan’s number and wrote him the following:
HEY. I’M GOING BACK TO OHIO. IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
She hit send, watched the text get delivered, and waited. Waited for some answer, any sign of him telling her not to go. Or to think it over. Or wishing her luck. Anything to show her that he cared one way or the other. After five minutes without any response, she dragged her bag into the living room and told Derek she was ready.
Chapter 21
Three hours later, they sat side by side in the souped-up Honda Civic Derek had acquired in her absence. To Zoey they might as well have been on opposite sides of the Grand Canyon. She stared out the window and wondered if he felt the emotional distance too.
Her guess was no. The farther they drove out of the city, the more the old Derek began to peek out. He had assumed his usual driving position, reclined way too far back for comfort, his wrist propped up by the steering wheel, daring the car to waver out of his control. He was merrily droning on about all the things he had accomplished in her absence. How trying it was to work a full-time job and get his real estate license. How difficult it was to give up his old ways. How much happier he was now that he had. Simply rehashing all the same rhetoric he used to get her to go with him, only now with more self-congratulatory old Derek overtones. Then he ventured to how good she looked. That the few extra pounds she put on made her more curvy and luscious. He was really putting on the hard sell. She managed to keep up with bits and pieces of his soliloquy, nodding and smiling in the right places. The whole time, the same thought kept looping in her head. If I made the right decision, why do I feel so lousy?
It was unlikely she would be able to stay silent the whole eight-hour drive home without him noticing. When she finally thought up something to say, it wasn’t much better. She blurted it by accident.
“I feel like I lost my best friend.”
“Ruthless has the right to move on. The fact that she settled on a lawyer is hilarious. I can’t wait to tell everyone back home.”
Home. She wasn’t heading home, she was leaving it. When had that change occurred? She knew the answer. For the first time, she was grateful that Derek was so self-absorbed, he didn’t have a clue what she meant.
“Blake is a nice guy,” Zoey murmured at the window.
“Only your sister could get a dude to take on a judge.” Derek laughed. “He probably bangs her better than a gavel.”
Some things hadn’t changed. No matter how clean he looked, how handsome and well put together he now appeared, Derek was still crude. She considered the possibility of this whole ordeal being one big fraud. Would he really go to such great lengths to paint a picture of success just to claim her? Sadly, she knew the answer. In the past, Derek had often thrived on spite. Convincing her to come home might be the only victory he wanted.