Two Weeks (The Baxter Family #5)(71)

The call to Mr. Green.





21




With all the intensity of the situation with Elise, Ashley woke up on Cole’s graduation day feeling a little cheated.

Years ago when he was little, as much as Cole delighted her more every day, she was often sad at how quickly he was growing up. That every few months he stood taller and talked more clearly.

Back then, when Cole was four, Ashley had taken a day to clean out his dresser drawers. Clothes Cole had outgrown she boxed up and gave to the Goodwill. All except a few special outfits. When she was done cleaning that day, she’d played the song “House at Pooh Corner” by Kenny Loggins and found her journal. Tears had filled her eyes as she opened it to a blank page. She could still remember what she wrote.

I grew up believing I could do anything. But today I realized there’s something I’ll never be able to do. I can’t stop my Cole from growing up.

Then she had turned the page and done a little projecting. She wrote out the next fifteen years on so many lines and beside each date she wrote the grade Cole would be in. A minute later she was scribbling out the year 2019, and then the two saddest words she could imagine.

Cole graduates.

As far off as that year felt, Ashley had made a decision that day. She would savor every minute. Appreciate the seasons. Paint them. So that when 2019 had the nerve of rolling around and sweeping Cole from his little-boy bedroom to a whole new life, she would be ready.

But now here they were.

And Ashley felt like they’d wasted most of the semester helping Cole figure out what to do with Elise, how to navigate the situation, what decision to make. When he wasn’t with the girl, he was talking about her, distracted by her.

Nothing about this past semester was how Ashley had seen it playing out.

Elise was a very kind girl, a free spirit and an artist. She’d been accepted to NYU and for the past month she seemed set once again on placing her baby up for adoption and heading to Manhattan for school. But she still had to give birth and hold her baby, still had to get through those last two weeks before the adoption would be final.

All those days before Ashley could be sure Cole wasn’t going to throw away his dreams and follow Elise to Louisiana.

Ashley had studied the calendar, and depending on when Elise had her baby, there was a chance her two-week window could be the last two weeks Cole would have at home before leaving for Liberty. Which meant the final days before Cole moved might not turn out how she pictured them, either.

Whatever happened, Cole was going to be crushed when summer ended. He loved Elise that much.

It was early Saturday morning. Ashley had set her alarm for seven o’clock—way before the rest of the family would be awake. She wanted to finish Cole’s graduation video, the one she’d been putting together since the start of his senior year. She had a few more edits to make and it would be good to go.

They’d play it tonight after the ceremony, when everyone in their extended family and many of Cole’s friends gathered to celebrate. But before Ashley could work on the video, there was something she wanted to find.

At the top of her closet were two boxes filled with things that meant the world to her. Things she couldn’t bear to throw away. Not ever. She pulled them down one at a time and took them to the living room. So she wouldn’t wake anyone. She sat in the nearest chair and opened both of them.

At the bottom of the first one was the one outfit she’d kept from Cole’s childhood. It was a pale blue sleeper covered with red choo-choo trains. Cole had worn it as often as he could the year he was three. Ashley lifted it from the box and ran her thumbs over the soft fabric.

“Cole, you were just this little. Where did the days go?” She pressed the pajamas to her face and breathed in. They no longer smelled of him, of course. Over the years the outfit had picked up the smell of cardboard and dust and time.

Time most of all.

She rifled around the bottom of the container and found a small red and blue toy train, the colors worn off in spots. Much like the trains on Cole’s well-worn pajamas. Ashley gave the wheels a gentle spin. The toy still looked the way it had all those years ago when Cole was a child.

How her oldest son loved this little train. Ashley smiled. Cole would make tracks with his blocks across the living room floor so he could take the train over water or snow or whatever his imagination came up with. And sometimes he would take the train airborne, when the ground was too limiting.

Ashley could still feel his little hand in hers on their walks through the neighborhood. She studied the toy. Cole had brought this train with him everywhere, especially to the park. So he could run it down the slide and take the tiny imaginary passengers for a ride on the swing. This train was part of his daytime routine until he was five.

When kindergarten interrupted his baby boy days.

Once more she held the pajamas and train to her face, then pressed them to the spot over her heart. If only she could have one more day back then. Back when these were everything to her little boy. The way they still were to Ashley. With tender care, she set the items back in the box. Souvenirs of Cole’s childhood.

She would love them forever.

There was one more thing she wanted to find. She searched through the second box, sorting through stacks of papers and kids’ artwork. What she wanted was the book of letters her mom had written to them before cancer took her. Not long after Ashley and Landon’s wedding, her dad put the letters together and made a copy for each of the kids.