Two Weeks (The Baxter Family #5)(70)

Which meant she and Cole could go through graduation in love with each other. Spending their free time together. Cheering each other on through baseball games and paintings. But all of it was only pretend if Cole Blake was afraid.

How could she let him give up his dream of attending Liberty University and becoming a doctor if he was scared of what was ahead? And what about her dream of being an artist? Since she’d moved here she hadn’t painted anything at all until Cole found the easel and paints from his mom.

But now that she was filling a canvas again, all she could think about was NYU. Her desire to become an artist had only grown stronger over the past weeks. Something she hadn’t told Cole. Which meant neither of them was being fully honest, the type of honest they would need to be before they packed up for Louisiana. Before they even considered marriage.

She had talked to her mother today, told her she was having doubts again about the baby. About keeping her. This time her mom had seemed different, less willing to push Elise toward coming home and bringing Cole. Which all lined up with the way she felt God telling her to trust Him by placing her baby for adoption. Some thing she wouldn’t have experienced if she hadn’t gone to church with Cole’s family. And today her mom had seemed to be on that same page.

“This is a decision that will change your life forever,” her mama had said. “I’ll stand by you, baby girl. Whatever you choose.”

Her words brought Elise a feeling of relief. For a while there she had thought her mom might be disappointed if she placed the baby for adoption. But now things were completely back to what Mr. Green had told her. This was her choice. Completely hers.

And how much of her decision to keep the baby in the first place was because of Cole? Because she could picture him by her side, bringing the newborn home, feeding and changing her. All the little milestones were only beautiful in her mind because she had Cole right next to her. How could she even consider letting Cole pass up going away to college? It was beyond selfish of her. Agreeing with him that he’d be fine taking classes online? That was terrible.

Staying home to raise a baby or going away to college. There was nothing even a little similar between those two plans.

She rolled onto her other side. If Cole was the only reason she was excited about keeping her baby girl, what did that say about her desire to be a mother? Elise exhaled long and troubled. Tomorrow she would tell Aunt Carol and Uncle Ken about the baby. Everything was getting so real. So complicated.

No wonder Cole felt scared. They both should be terrified.

Her thoughts did spins and somersaults pulling her one way and then the other until finally she fell asleep. Suddenly she wasn’t in her aunt and uncle’s flowered little guest room. She was in her mama’s house in Louisiana. And Cole was sitting on the couch working on a laptop.

But he looked older. Not as happy and carefree.

And then there was a loud noise at the door and someone kicked it open and Randy stepped in. Mean and big and screaming mad. “Elise, where’s the baby?”

She didn’t have to ask. She knew what he was talking about. “The baby’s mine, Randy. Leave us alone.”

“No. I changed my mind, Elise. I’m keeping her.” Then he pulled out a gun and pointed it at Elise. At the last second he spun and aimed the weapon at Cole. “And I’m finished with you forever.”

Randy pulled the trigger and Elise screamed. But before the bullet could tear into Cole, Elise sat straight up in bed. Her lungs gasping for air. “God, help me. Please . . . save Cole!”

She was still only half awake, and gradually the reality washed over her. Randy wasn’t here. He hadn’t burst through the door and he didn’t just shoot Cole Blake.

It was a dream. The worst one Elise had ever had. But as she settled back into the pillow, as her heart found its regular rhythm again, she realized that one part of the dream was actually very possible.

The idea that Randy might come after her if she kept the baby. He had signed off his rights, but that didn’t mean he’d leave her alone. Even if he moved away from Leesville, he could come back. And one day the kick at the door wouldn’t be a nightmare. It would be real.

Suddenly the pieces started adding up. The fact that Cole deserved his own dreams and that she wasn’t sure she even wanted to be a mother. The reality of Randy’s temper and the way she longed to attend NYU. The truth that any day she would find out if she was accepted there, and she had the strongest sense she would be.

Elise put her hand on her stomach. It was still flat, but it was firm now. Getting hard as her uterus filled out. She ran her fingers over the area and felt something that hadn’t been there before. A gentle rise between her hip bones.

“I’m sorry, little girl. I wish I could be what you need. I wish things were different.” Her voice was barely a whisper. “I’m so sorry.”

She cried herself to sleep and when she woke up she didn’t have to ask God what the answer was. It was clear as the morning outside her window. And that afternoon a letter from NYU was waiting for her in the mailbox.

As fast as she could she tore into it and began to read.

Dear Ms. Walker,

We are pleased to inform you of your acceptance to New York University. We find your paintings to be of the highest caliber, and we look forward to the next four years of shaping and refining your skills . . .

Elise couldn’t read another word. Not until she did what she couldn’t wait to do. She took a breath, trusted God with all her heart, and made the call.