Tragic Bonds (The Bonds That Tie #5)(17)

I'm terrified of fucking that up for myself and for us, because I also know how desperately North and Gryphon want this all to work out. Gabe too.

Atlas? Not so much, but it’s a work in progress.

No splitting up. No more letting anyone run off into danger by themselves, and no more missions without us present.

Okay, that's all very doable, and if I tell North and Gryphon that my bond has made its demands, they should both agree to it. On the off chance they don’t, I can always get my bond to speak to them on my behalf.

It has a particularly forceful way of getting them to agree to its whims.

Not that they are pushovers, of course. I’ve seen them all tell my bond no when required, but I doubt they’d argue with this demand.

I glance back over at the bed, and this time, I find Nox staring back at me. His eyes are dark but not voided out in the shadows of the room.

“What are you doing?” he asks, his voice still rough with sleep. I shrug, shifting my weight to either of my feet a little awkwardly.

“Just talking to my bond, trying to figure all of this out. I know that we’re happy enough hiding here in the peace of your room for a little while, but we do have to remember that someone managed to kill you a few days ago. I doubt that they’ll be happy to find out that I was able to bring you back. But, again, there’s someone out there strong enough to take out a Death Dealer. If that isn't concerning, then I don't know what is.”

He heaves himself up onto his arms, popping his top half off of the bed, and I glanced down to where Azrael is nuzzling at my thigh, as if pushing me back towards the warmth and comfort of the sheets.

“It was aiming for North. It didn't give a shit about me or Gryphon. It only cared about killing him.”

My heart stops in my chest.

I didn't know that.





“Have you told North?”

Nox raises an eyebrow at me, motioning to the empty side of the bed, and I stumble over to join him there. “He’s already trying to drink himself to death. There’s no point adding any fuel to his guilt-soaked fire.”

Jesus.

He’s not wrong. I don’t need to reach out to feel how intoxicated North is right now. None of my Bonded have really properly gotten drunk since we’d completed the Bonding, except Nox, and he’d never opened up enough for me to really feel it.

North isn’t in a state to hide this from me.

Nox holds one of his hands up to stare at his fingers, flexing them slowly as he assesses the damage that is no longer there. “They went after the strongest member of the Bonded Group first… after you, of course. They only want you alive and cut off from the rest of us.”

I don’t like the sound of that, and neither does my bond, stretching and flexing inside of my chest as it wakes up again. It doesn’t want to take over or throw a tantrum though, only to listen in to what Nox is saying.

I have my own concerns here. “Is North the strongest, though? I’d argue that you’re all strong but in different ways.”

Nox gives me a dry look, and I shake my head at him. “I’m not trying to play peacemaker. I’m being serious. Other than you and North both being Death Dealers, everyone’s Gifts are very different, and all of the Bonded Group are the strongest at what they are. No Neuro can do what Gryphon can. Atlas’ family have the same Gift as him, but none of them can transfer it like he can, and we’re still figuring out the limits to his strength. Gabe can turn into a freaking dragon. All of those Gifts are on a different playing field than our peers.”

Nox shrugs. “The shadows have always been a threat to the Resistance. The Draven name alone is a threat, and I’m not surprised they targeted North before me. He’s the councilman, and he’s been at the center of every big win we’ve had against them. He’s always deflected away from me and painted the target on himself.”

I don’t like it.

It’s a no-win situation though. If they hadn’t been targeting North, then they only would’ve chosen another of my Bonded, and I’d hate that just as much.

They need to die. All of them.

I startle at the sound of another bond in my mind, one that speaks like mine but… isn’t.

I glance at Nox. He’s staring back at me, his eyes so dark that I’m not entirely sure who’s at the helm right now. His head tilts just a little and I find some blue in his eyes, just enough to know that Nox is still in there.

I hum softly under my breath as I think, listening to my own bond’s vehement agreement, and then answer his bond out loud, “We need to step things up. Stop reacting to them attacking us and start making our own plans.”

Nox nods slowly. “You need the others to stop coddling you. You need your bond to be let out to its full potential, because you’re still letting your fears of what we’ll all think of you get in the way.”

It’s a critique, if a kind one, but I can handle it. It’s something I already know all too well about myself. The moment I came to terms with wanting to keep them all was the moment the fear in me had shifted.

I am scared they’ll leave me if they see with their own two eyes what I’m capable of.

I clear my throat, mostly a nervous action because he’s called me out perfectly, just like he always does. “It’s my own fault. I’ll work on my trust issues. It’ll be easier now that I have… you.”