Too Hard(14)

How could I have ever thought I’d be able control myself when it comes to her?

“One hour,” I confirm, and she nods as I grab my tools. I go to the door and I look her up and down one last time. “Wear a dress.”

With that I walk out the door and down to my truck. I breathe in the warm air and try not to think about all the ways this could go wrong.





Chapter Nine





Harlow





“I only brought one,” Nellie tells me when I open the front door. She has a hanger hooked on her finger and she sways it back and forth, showing me the white dress. She must have been speeding like hell because I only texted her ten minutes ago saying I needed something to wear. If I had to guess she already had this one in mind before I ever asked her. I don’t own a dress, but it’s not because I’m opposed to them. I just don’t have a need. I live in sweats and yoga pants most of the time, but right now I want to dress up for Butch. I don’t know why the idea excites me so much.

Nellie’s got a giant smile on her face that makes me feel better for her. She always bounces back fast, so even though that Sean guy made her so mad she cried she’s okay now. At first I thought maybe she had a thing for him, but it’s men in general that caused the outburst of tears. Nellie’s always had men after her and I know she goes on dates regularly. I also know none of them have ever been good enough for a second one.

“It looks small.” I eye the dress I’ve never seen her wear before. It looks new, but no way she had time to buy it.

“It will fit. It’s stretchy.” She walks into the apartment and I let the door close behind her. “Holy shit.” She stops when she sees the kitchen. “I can’t believe how much he got done in a day.”

“Yeah.” I admire Butch’s handiwork. That man knows what he’s doing, that’s for sure.

Butch did a perfect job and that’s the problem. Now that he’s done I don’t have a reason for him to come back. I was crossing my fingers this would keep him here for a few days, but it didn’t turn out that way. Now this date needs to be good or I might never see him again. I have to stifle a whimper at the thought because never seeing him again feels so wrong.

“Maybe he can help with your office. It’s only half done,” Nellie reminds me.

I forgot about it, but I keep forgetting about everything that isn’t related to Butch. Nellie has crap going on in her life, too, and I need to remember that. She hides it well, but that doesn’t mean things don’t affect her.

“I’m really sorry about Sean,” I say again for the millionth time.

It’s shitty all around because he left her high and dry on this job. Thank god it was only me he was working on right now. Nellie has other contractors, but she said he was one of the best and that’s why she had him in my apartment to begin with.

“He’ll be hard to replace, but it’s for the better.” She hangs the dress over a chair. “If it wasn't me he would have tried to sleep with one of my clients eventually and that would have been a bigger mess.”

“True.”

I got a peek of something Nellie is hiding because that outburst of tears is a buildup. I know she wants the white picket fence and kids, but she’s used to working for things she wants and she doesn’t like to wait. She got her design degree so quickly because she powered through school and she got it in half the time. Even I can see relationships can’t be handled the same way and I’d never been in one before.

Nellie claps her hands together to change the subject. “Tell me everything while we get you ready.”

I spill most of what happened and even tell her about what Butch said about Sean being an asshole. I leave some of the things out that turned me on more than I knew they would because for some reason that feels special. I want to keep something between Butch and me, at least until I figure out what this is and where we stand. I cross my fingers that it’s together.

“We don’t have daddy issues,” I blurt out, and Nellie swipes the makeup brush across my cheek. I don’t know why I feel the need to add that in there.

“Who cares if we did? A man can handle it if he’s a man.”

“Butch is definitely a man.”

“That’s the truth,” Nellie agrees with a small laugh. “He wanted to punch Sean in the face and I could tell he was holding himself back.”

“He was?” I perk up at hearing that.

I would’ve enjoyed seeing Sean get punched. I was so shocked at what he was saying when we walked into the room, I hadn't seen the look on Butch’s face. I remember the one from when I first opened the door, though, and that was pretty pissed. I don’t want to think about what he’d look like if he was ready to throw a punch.

“Yeah, he did. I think seeing him so pissed reminded me that there are still good guys out there.” She lets out a long sigh. “Not all men just want to use you for sex.”

“You think he’s a good guy?” I think so, but what do I know about men? I was raised by two women who never brought men around us. We knew next to nothing about their dating lives or if they had any. It wasn't until the past few years that Nellie and I figured out they had normal lives and went on dates with guys.