This Is Not How It Ends(98)
Thank you to my father for the many ways in which you have taught me to forgive.
Mom, I am sorry you were taken from us too soon. I know if you were here, you’d be there, you’d show up, and you’d be oh so very proud of all your children and grandchildren. I miss you every single day of my life. Every word I write is a letter of love to you.
Brandon and Jordan, may you know great love. May you fight for it every single day. May you find the person who lights a fire in your soul and makes you want to be a better man. May you understand the sacrifices and compromises that make love complete. May you feel the pain of another, so much so that you learn true empathy and how to share it with others. May you hurt, may you laugh, may you cry, may you understand the rare beauty of giving your heart to another, the joy of sharing life with someone who is always by your side. It will make you physically ache, deliriously happy, but it will be worth every emotion.
Your dad is that person for me.
BOOK CLUB QUESTIONS
Philip’s decision to protect Charley came with a price. How would you feel about the attempt to spare you pain? Is knowing always best? Do you think he was acting out of selflessness, or fear?
Cheating and adultery are always difficult subjects. There are two schools of thought: one, that the cheater is to blame, the other that the couple is to blame, the betrayal a symptom of a problem within a relationship. Where do you stand and why?
Ben and Philip are both strong, accomplished men with the capacity to love deeply. But how are they different? Who would you have chosen and why?
Charley said that people want what they can’t have in life. Do you think that’s part of the reason she was attracted to Ben? Why or why not?
Like many forms of Eastern medicine, NAET therapy comes with controversy and question. Where do you stand on today’s treatments?
Charley’s father left when she was young, leaving her untrusting of love. But how much of that influence is innate and how much is that in Charley’s control? Do you believe early influences affect later decisions and behaviors?
What would have happened if Ben and Charley hadn’t slept together that night? Do you think they would have still ended up together?
Here the lines between friendship and love are blurred. Have you ever had a crush or attraction to your significant other’s friends? Did you consider admitting it, or keep it hidden? Why or why not?
When Ben and Charley sat side by side in the hospital, Charley spilled about her relationship to a complete stranger. Have you ever had an immediate connection with someone like that?
Is it realistic for Philip to think he would get away with hiding his illness from Charley? And why is this so important to him? Do you think he made the right choice?
Compare Charley’s relationship with Philip with the one she shares with Ben. Do you believe it is possible to love two people at once?
Philip, Ben, and Charley have all experienced loss. How does each deal with the pain, and how does it work for them?
Charley’s father reveals a secret that changes her perceptions of the past. How would you react, and would you be able to easily forgive?
Forgiveness is a big theme in this novel: Philip forgiving Charley and Ben for falling in love, Charley forgiving her father, Ben being asked to forgive the person who killed his wife . . . Would you have been forgiving in these situations? Have you ever been faced with, or can you think of, a situation in which you couldn’t forgive?