Things We Do in the Dark(26)

“The one that burned?”

He nods.

“I’ve only been here once,” Deborah says, glancing around. “Which was the last time I ever saw her. She told me she’d quit the video store, but she didn’t mention she was dancing at the strip club right next door.”

“She never told me, either,” Drew says. “I found out the hard way.”

They switch to small talk while they eat their lunch. Fifteen minutes later, a busboy clears their plates, and Fitzroy, Junior’s nephew, pops out of the kitchen in a stained white apron to say hello. The two men shake hands vigorously, both agreeing that it’s been too long and that the other still looks good for his age. Fitz has been cooking here ever since Drew can remember, and he promises to send over coffee and coconut cake, on the house, if Drew promises to come back more often. Deborah watches the whole exchange thoughtfully, a small smile on her face.

“I can see why Joelle liked you,” she says when they’re alone again. “She talked about you a lot the last time I saw her, and she told me that you and your girlfriend had just moved to Vancouver. She was sad about it. She said you were her best friend.”

The words sting. “She was mine, too.”

“But it was more than friendship for her,” Deborah says. “She loved you, Drew. Like, loved you loved you. Would-have-married-you-and-had-your-babies-and-grown-old-with-you loved you. Not a crush. I don’t think Joelle was capable of infatuation or anything shallow.”

His heart lurches. “She never said anything to me.”

“Well, you were in a serious relationship.” Deborah takes a bite of the coconut cake. “She would never have interfered with that. All she ever wanted was to be nothing like her mother.”

She couldn’t be more right about that. “When did you find out she was dancing at the Cherry?”

“Not until after she died.” Deborah wipes her mouth with a napkin. “I have a close friend who works for the police. He called me when the report came in, and I took it pretty hard. I hadn’t meant to lose touch with her. I knew she still needed me; I felt it when we said goodbye that last time.” She looks away. “I feel like I failed her.”

“At least you didn’t shame her for being a stripper less than two hours before she died,” Drew says. “When I found out she was dancing, I didn’t take it well. I said some really awful things.”

“I’m sorry.” Deborah touches his hand briefly. “So. What is it you need from me?”

“Joey’s file,” Drew says. “I know you’re not a social worker anymore, but something tells me you might have kept notes. She told me some things, but I want to know more about her childhood.”

“What will you do with it? Talk about it on the podcast?”

“Some of it, maybe?” Drew rubs his face. “The thought of Ruby getting out and restarting her life makes me sick. Even if people can forgive her because the man she murdered turned out to be a villain himself, Ruby was still a horrific mother. I want people to see that when they look at her.”

Deborah is quiet for a moment. Then she reaches into her tote bag and pulls out a large manila envelope. His instincts were correct; she did keep a copy of Joey’s file. She also removes six spiral-bound notebooks with colorful, pretty covers, and stacks them on top of the envelope.

“Her diaries?” Drew reaches for the notebook on top and stares at it in wonder. Joey’s diaries led to Ruby Reyes being charged with murder in the first place. “How did you get these? They should still be filed away as evidence.”

“They were,” Deborah says, “but after Joelle died, it seemed wrong to leave them in there. I asked my friend to get them out of evidence.”

“It’s my fault she’s dead,” Drew blurts.

“If that’s true, then it’s my fault, too.” Deborah touches the side of his face, and it’s a motherly gesture, filled with compassion and understanding. He can see his pain mirrored in her eyes. “There was nothing you could have done.”

He appreciates her kindness, but she’s wrong. There was a lot Drew could have done. He could have been nicer to Joey. He could have stayed with her. He can still remember every word of their last conversation, and had he known it was going to be the last, he would have just shut the fuck up and kissed her.

Because approximately ninety minutes later, Joey died.





CHAPTER TWELVE


Drew’s first five seasons of The Things We Do in the Dark were all about strangers, people he had no emotional attachment to and would never meet. In contrast, the new season will be about someone he hates. Not dislikes, or disapproves of, but literally hates.

Not many people are aware that Ruby Reyes wasn’t originally arrested for murder. She was arrested for child abuse. The hearing took place in closed family court just before the murder trial, the transcripts of which are sealed. Drew has put in a request to view them, and while normally a request like this would be denied, Joey is deceased now. His application is pending.

He’s already sketched out a rough outline for season six, but he won’t begin recording any episodes until he completes all his research and interviews. Even though the subject matter is intensely personal to him, true crime podcasting is still storytelling, requiring a strong narrative arc if you want to keep people listening. It made sense to start with Deborah Jackson, and he’s glad he did, because it’s hard to imagine that anything he reads in those sealed transcripts will be more painful than reading Joey’s diaries. And he will read them, in order to prepare for his conversation with Ruby Reyes, which he’s saving for last. In the meantime, he reads Joey’s CPS file.