The Wife Before Me(24)
‘You’re right. I shouldn’t pry.’ He drains his brandy and gestures at Elena to finish her drink. ‘Time to go. Yvonne will be wondering what’s keeping us.’
His change of mood from belligerent questioning to agreeing with her is a surprise. Alarm bells ring in her head but alcohol has muted their chimes. They pass the restaurant window on their way to the car park. Steve’s profile is visible as he talks animatedly to his companion.
Nicholas is silent on the drive to Woodbine. She tries to gauge his mood and fails. When they enter the living room Henry awakens from a snooze and Yvonne switches off the television. Grace is asleep in her cot. The baby monitor has been silent all night, Yvonne tells them.
‘A little angel. She was no trouble at all,’ she says. ‘You just need to be more confident with her, Elena. Babies can always tell if a mother is stressed.’
Yvonne’s inference that she is incapable of looking after Grace annoys Elena but she stays quiet, afraid of breaking the fragile peace between her and Nicholas.
When his parents have driven away, Nicholas sits on the sofa beside her and takes her in his arms.
‘Not tonight, Nicholas.’ She kisses his cheek and tries to rise. ‘I’m so tired and Grace is due a bottle soon.’
‘Yes, tonight.’ He presses her back against the cushions and kneels down in front of her. ‘I want you to relax. That’s all you have to do.’
‘I don’t want to relax—’ She gasps as he slides her dress over her thighs. Gently but insistently, he eases her legs apart, his breath warm on her thighs. His tongue probes deeply and Elena, surrendering to him, moans softly as the tension eases from her and then falls away.
Unable to find the words to apologise for his earlier behaviour, is he offering sex as an act of atonement? She no longer cares. She begs him to come into her but he refuses, intent only on releasing the ruckus of pleasure he has stirred within her. When her cries die away and he is looking down on her, all askew and spent, she wonders if what he did to her could be defined as rape? This thought, so unexpected and appalling, stuns her. It diminishes the true horror of rape and should not even be considered in the same breath. She is overwrought, reading too much into what was a selfless giving of himself; yet his stance, so contained and controlled, sours the wanton pleasure she has just experienced.
Later that night, aroused and wanting her, he awakens her from a deep sleep. Drowsy and unresponsive, her body bends and shakes, and is ruptured so fast she is unsure if she is still in the realm of dreams.
Eleven
Unaware of the tempestuous reaction his meeting with them in the restaurant provoked, Steve will have returned to Paris by now. The passion Elena experienced last night… she should be glowing in its aftermath, not resenting her body for having responded so eagerly to Nicholas’s caresses. And later, when he came into her, the force of his desire numbing her, that memory stirs her with an uneasiness she’s unable, or unwilling, to name.
Unable to stay indoors, she straps Grace into her buggy and leaves Woodbine.
Her daughter’s eyes move to the mesmerising sway of branches overhead as Elena wheels her along the narrow path by the edge of Kilfarran Lane. The width of the road belies its title as a lane but the houses along either side of it are sparse, as are the cars that use it.
Fifteen minutes later Elena reaches Kilfarran Village. She hopes to meet other young mothers in the café or the library, but the streets are quiet, sunk in an afternoon hush. Mornings are the best time to make new friends, the librarian tells her. She hands Elena fliers with information about a mother and baby yoga class that is held in the community centre, a parents’ coffee morning organised by the Ginger Nut Café, group buggy walks through the woods and the local cinema, which features films one morning a week for parents and babies. Obviously, the village is not as sleepy as it looks and Elena feels her spirits lifting as she walks back to Woodbine.
She needs an outlet and Nicholas is not yet ready to put the house on the market. His workload has increased since Peter Harris was diagnosed with a heart condition. He is awaiting surgery and Nicholas is now travelling in his stead to the New York office for fortnightly meetings. He had related this information to Elena with relish. He dislikes Peter, whose job he has coveted since he joined the company. To add to Peter’s woes, his wife has left him and is demanding a divorce. The indent on Nicholas’s forehead deepened when he mentioned this latest piece of office gossip. He called Lilian Harris, ‘a whinging, mercenary bitch,’ who was capable of taking her husband to the cleaners in terms of the alimony she would demand. Elena had been surprised by his vehemence. What had Lilian ever done to him? She remembered the group photograph he destroyed. That would explain his reaction. If had obviously been the sight of Lilian, and not Amelia, that had triggered his fury.
Grace is becoming restless. She is due a feed. Elena walks faster. The narrow footpath is edged by a bank of grass that slopes down into a ditch. The stream flowing through it is almost obscured by weeds and bulrushes. She hears its low gurgle as it flows towards the Kilfarran River. Bunches of cut flowers are laid regularly on the grass. Usually they have disappeared by the following day but, inevitably, more flowers appear. It has to be a roadside shrine. A fatality must have happened there and a bereaved loved one has turned the site of the accident into a memorial.