The Summer of Sunshine and Margot(99)

“I went to Santa Monica. There’s a breakfast place I know—it’s a silly little coffee shop, but I always loved it. I used to live with a family nearby. They had twin girls. They were only seven and so adorable. Elle, their mother, is a lawyer who does a lot of international work. Their father’s in banking. They were this power couple who were never home and had little or nothing to do with their kids.”

She looked at him. “That makes it worse, you know. The parents who aren’t involved, because then I’m all the kids have. I’d never experienced it before, until the twins. They were so lonely and sad and they bonded with me instantly. I stayed for nearly eight months and then I met a guy.”

She twisted her hands together and shook her head. “It happened like it always happened. He was great and I fell for him. After a couple of nights he invited me to go with him to Texas. He was going to teach me to rope a steer. I thought it was love, so why not? I wrote the girls a note and I left.”

The tears returned, slipping down her cheeks. “Just like that. I walked out on them and broke their hearts. I ran into Elle today and she said they were so devastated, they needed therapy. She called me names and she’s right. I was so thoughtless and awful.”

She wiped her face. “That’s why I’m trying so hard to be different. I don’t want to be that person anymore. It’s wrong—I know it’s wrong. I get it now and I’m trying, but how do I make it right from before?”

“Do you want to talk to the twins?” he asked.

“No. I mean of course I do, but it would be selfish. I’d feel better, but I suspect they’d only feel worse. I don’t want that.”

He didn’t know what to do with all that she’d told him. While he knew she was telling the truth, he couldn’t reconcile the woman in front of him with the stories she told.

“Would you walk out on Connor?” he asked.

“What? No! Of course not. I love him.” The tears flowed faster.

“But one day you’ll have to leave.”

Something he didn’t want to think about, but it was the truth. She wasn’t going to work for him forever.

“I’ll do it the right way.” She grabbed his hands and stared into his eyes. “Declan, I swear to you. I swear. I won’t hurt him. No matter what.”

“I believe you.”

Without thinking he reached for her. He meant to maybe hug her or something but what he did instead was pull her onto his lap. She came willingly, settling on his thighs and burying her head in the crook of his neck where she cried so hard, her body shook. He rested one hand on her hip and rubbed her back with the other. He ignored the heat of her, the curves, the scent and thought only of her pain.

“I want to be better,” she told him, raising her head and sniffing. “I want to be proud of myself.”

“How are you doing on that?”

“I don’t know. I thought I was making progress until today. I’m trying to be a better person, with college and not dating inappropriate men and working to be the best nanny I can be.”

“You’re doing all those things.”

“But what I did before. I can’t fix that.”

“We’ve all done things we’re ashamed of. The point is to do better when we know better.”

“I think for a lot of people the point is to not screw up in the first place.”

“Very few of us have that luxury.”

She sighed. Her breath was warm against his neck. He became less aware of her emotional pain and more aware of how she felt in his arms. It wouldn’t take much to shift her so she was straddling him. He wanted that—the feel of her hot crotch against his dick, her arms around him, her mouth on his.

He wanted her naked, in his bed. He wanted to touch her and taste her and pleasure her, and then he wanted to fill her until she came and then he wanted to do it all again. Yup, he was an asshole. Here she was, baring her soul to him, and all he could think about was getting laid. His gender sucked and he was the suckiest member.

She straightened and slid off his lap. For one heart-stopping second he thought she was going to hold out her hand and invite him into her bed.

But instead, she gave him a trembling smile. “Thank you for listening to me and not judging me.”

He carefully stayed where he was, needing the darkness to hide the physical proof of what he’d been thinking. “I would never judge you.”

“I know and I appreciate that. Good night, Declan.”

“Good night.”

He waited a good two minutes after she’d gone inside. He wanted her in her room with the door closed before he moved. His erection throbbed as desire pulsed through him. He told himself he was bigger than the need but he knew he was lying. Once again he would head to his room, get in the shower and do the deed. If he couldn’t have Sunshine, then he needed to find someone else he could fall for. Someone who could be a part of his life. He was the kind of guy who wanted a partner, not a party. Enough time had passed and he was ready to move on. He had to—starting now.

  “I never thought of learning more languages,” Bianca said, sounding both intrigued and apprehensive. “I speak passable Spanish and about the same amount of Japanese.”

Margot looked at her client. “You speak Japanese?”