The Summer of Sunshine and Margot(85)

“You have.”

“Maybe I could get a second one.”

More ants? They weren’t a lot of trouble and so far the farm hadn’t leaked or expelled or whatever it was an ant farm did when the residents escaped, but more of them? In the house?

He looked at his son’s eager face and thought about all he’d been through in the past eight or nine months. If he wanted another ant farm, what was the big deal?

“Sure,” he said. “Do some research online and then we’ll talk about it. I’ll let Sunshine know.”

“She won’t mind, Dad. She loves my ants.”

Declan doubted that was true, but knew she wouldn’t make a fuss. Very little rattled her, which was one of many things he liked about her. She was down-to-earth and accepting. He knew she cared about Connor.

“I’m going to go tell her right now,” Connor said, scrambling to his feet, grabbing his book and racing into the house.

Declan returned his attention to the series of holes he’d been digging. Just three more, he told himself. Then he would start planting.

The physical work felt good. He’d had a difficult week at work—Jessica and James were still annoying him with their inability to make a decision. In theory most of the garden was planned, but all it would take was one distraction and they would be starting over. He and Heath weren’t losing money on the job because they’d been careful with the pay structure. Every time there was a deviation from the initial, approved plan, the company billed by the hour until they were back on track. So his frustration wasn’t financial, it was that he didn’t want a single job to suck up so much of his time. There were other jobs with people who knew what they wanted, and right now he and Heath were forced to turn them away.

“Soon,” he said aloud. It would be done soon. Or so he hoped.

He started on another hole, digging deep enough to give the new plant plenty of room for the roots to expand. He’d always liked working in the garden. Iris hadn’t shared his love of working outdoors. She’d preferred to watch from the house.

He thought about what Sunshine had said about getting Connor into sports. It was something he should have thought of himself, only Iris hadn’t liked organized sports and he had figured there was plenty of time to take on that fight.

He and Connor had already talked and agreed that Connor would go to a summer baseball camp. In the fall he wanted to try soccer and basketball. The baseball camp was three mornings a week, which meant he needed something for the afternoons. There was a park program with a lot of general activities. Sunshine had surprised him by suggesting music camp. They had both full- and half-day programs. Declan had no idea if his son had any aptitude for music, but it might be something for him to explore.

Iris would have pushed for some kind of science camp, he thought. Last summer Connor had been enrolled in an intensive science program but he hadn’t enjoyed himself at all. Iris had told him he wasn’t trying hard enough but Declan had said he needed other activities. They’d argued about it, then Iris had told him to do what he wanted. As if she hadn’t cared anymore. Had that been when she’d started the affair?

He didn’t think their fight had been that significant or that any one thing he’d done had driven her into the arms of another man. It might not have been about him at all, although he knew he shared the blame for at least half of what had gone on in their marriage. But while he might have responsibility for setting up a situation where she was unhappy, he knew that her falling in love with someone else was on her. She’d chosen another man over him and Connor. She’d been willing to leave them both. While she hadn’t admitted as much, when he’d asked what her plans were for their son, she’d told him it was complicated. Shouldn’t she have been a mother first and a lover second?

He moved on to the last hole and dug his shovel into the ground. Even as he thought about Iris and what had gone wrong, he recognized that he had a lot less energy to put into the questions. He would never get all the answers, but the not knowing was now more a curiosity than anything else. While he regretted what had happened, the past no longer tore him apart. Pain had faded into sadness. He knew even that wound would heal over. Time had done its thing and he’d moved on.

Involuntarily he glanced at the house. Although he couldn’t see Sunshine, he knew she was there. Wanting uncoiled, but he ignored it, along with the growing need to spend time with her, talk to her, laugh with her. It was enough that he trusted her with his son. Everything else was simply background noise.



Chapter Twenty-One


Margot walked into the dining room at breakfast. The small buffet was laid out, as it always was, with a hot dish of some kind, fresh fruit, an assortment of pastries and croissants along with coffee, juice and water.

Alec was sitting in his usual place, a newspaper open, because he believed in supporting the local press and had the Los Angeles Times delivered every morning.

In that second before he looked up and saw her, she studied him. The way his dark hair had a bit of a wave to it, how his shirt fit across his broad shoulders and the shape of his hands and fingers.

She knew him intimately now—every inch of him. She’d touched and tasted all of him enough times that she would easily recognize him by feel alone. She knew the sound of his voice and what he found funny. She liked his intensity and understood his need to create a fortress where he could disappear and live in his head, discovering the secrets of those long dead and gone.