The Summer of Sunshine and Margot(84)

She thought maybe she was her best self with Alec. At least she thought it might be possible. When she was around him, she felt good. He never tried to distract her from what was important or make her feel less than.

“What does that even mean?” Bianca asked.

“I suppose I’m saying that loving someone should be a positive experience for both parties. That being around the person you love shouldn’t make your life worse. That when you’re with that person, you are seeking to be better than you would be without him. Is that too vague?”

“A little, but I think I understand it. I do love being around Wesley.”

“Why?”

Bianca frowned. “What a strange question. Because he’s perfect. He’s kind and he loves me. He always has fun things to talk about.” She smiled. “The sex is fabulous.”

“This isn’t about sex.”

“Nearly everything is about sex.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“Whatever. My point is, I love Wesley. He’s nothing like some of the other men I’ve been with. I thought I’d found my best love with Sebastian but was I wrong.”

Margot had no idea who Sebastian was, but before she could ask, Bianca continued.

“He was a famous model and we did a shoot together. This was years ago. He left the business and ended up making a fortune trading stocks. We met up, oh, fifteen years later, and it was like we’d never been apart.” Her smiled turned nostalgic.

“We got engaged, then we broke up, but it wasn’t horrible, you know? Just one of those things.” She pressed her lips together. “Three years ago he wrote a biography and he didn’t mention me even once.”

She looked at Margot. “Can you believe it? I was supposed to be his great love and I didn’t even get a footnote. Then he had the balls to invite me to the launch party. Well, I didn’t go. I can tell you that!”

“What does that have to do with Wesley?”

“What? Nothing. Were we talking about him?”

“We were talking about love being a path to our best self. Love isn’t about what the other person does for you, Bianca, it’s about what we do for that person. It’s about giving. We aren’t changed by what is done to us, rather we are transformed by the act of loving someone else.”

She felt herself getting annoyed, which was not going to be helpful, nor could she actually explain her reaction. Maybe it was because in her mind, she was thinking Alec rather than Wesley. Bianca could be charming and fun but she was also self-absorbed and thoughtless. What must it have been like to not know which mother you were going to have to deal with on any given day?

“Are you even in love with Wesley?” she asked bluntly. “Are you going to be there for him, no matter what? Are you going to take care of him, in sickness and in health? What if he ends up in a wheelchair? Will you be there, then? Or is it all about being mentioned in a biography?”

Bianca stood and glared at her. “I can’t believe you’re even asking me that.”

“Someone has to.”

“It’s not your job, though, is it?”

“My job is to help you be the best wife possible for a man in Wesley’s position. I was so careful when I did my research, but I never thought to ask if you genuinely loved him or if this was just another role for you.”

“Of course I love him. I do!”

Margot didn’t say anything. She wasn’t sure how Bianca felt about anyone but herself. Still, she wasn’t sure her opinion mattered one way or the other.

“All right. We were going to spend the afternoon discussing the cultural differences between European countries. Would you like to get started on that?”

Bianca was silent for nearly a minute. Finally she nodded. “Yes, let’s talk about that.”

  “There are so many ants that if you took all the ants and weighed them and all the people and weighed them, it would be the same!”

Connor sounded both impressed and scandalized by the information as he lay on the grass, reading from a book on ants.

“That’s a lot of ants,” Declan agreed.

“It is.”

Declan had ripped out the old hedges a few weeks ago. Now he carefully dug out holes to plant the new hedges. The morning was already warm and sunny. The afternoon would get well into the eighties and it was still a couple of months until summer. One of the reasons he loved Southern California.

“Scientists think there are over a million ants alive for every single person alive.” Connor giggled. “I want to name my million ants.”

“Do you know a million names or will you just call them Ant One, Ant Two, Ant Three?”

Connor laughed. “I’d call them Connor Ant One,” he joked.

“So you want a kingdom of ants.”

“Uh-huh.” He turned the page. “Here it is. There are super colonies, Dad. The ants are all connected and they share the same chemical makeup so they’re related.” He frowned and turned the page. “Oh, I remember. They’re Argentine ants and they’re supposed to be native to South America but they’re all over the world. The super colonies go for thousands of miles.”

“That’s a serious pest problem.”

“Dad, it’s not a problem. It’s cool. I wish I had a super colony of ants.” He sat up. “I’ve taken really good care of my ant farm.”