The Summer of Sunshine and Margot(66)

“Is it too much?”

“No. It’s exactly right. You’re very creative. He’ll love everything you have planned for him.”

“Okay. Thanks for saying that.” She finished her drink and waited for the tequila to do its thing. “Do you mind if I ask you about Iris?”

Declan held her gaze. “Sure. What do you want to know?”

She thought he might have tensed a little as he spoke, but she couldn’t tell. “Was she an indoor kind of person? Not very physical or athletic? I don’t mean that in a judgy way.”

“I know you don’t.” He leaned back in his chair. “She was very much in her head. She worked in medical research and enjoyed reading and quiet activities.”

“That’s what I thought. You’re not like that and I don’t think Connor is, either.”

Declan raised his eyebrows. “He’s always going off to his room.”

“Sure. It’s what he knows. But he likes to be outside and run around, too. I think he needs a physical activity, like some kind of sport. I’m not sure what, but an organized team would be good for him. After the games he could hang out with the guys, learn the rules of male hierarchy and all that.”

“The rules of male hierarchy?” His voice was teasing. “What does that mean?”

“Oh, you know what I’m talking about. Don’t pretend you don’t. Guys have rules for how they interact with each other. We all see it. He needs to learn that. I’m not saying he’ll play pro ball, but it would be good for him.”

His humor faded. “It would. You’re right—I should have recognized that myself. Thank you, Sunshine.”

His voice was low and sexy. Appealing, she thought, as a little quiver took up residence in her belly. Declan was... He was... Nice. Just nice. As a father, as a man. She liked his smile and the way he talked and his sense of humor and how he was with Connor and...

No, no and no, she told herself. Not going there. She loved her job and she was not going to be that girl anymore. She was better than that.

“Were you into sports in high school?” he asked, drawing her back to the conversation.

“I was a cheerleader.”

“Of course you were. Great, now I’m picturing you—” He sat up and turned toward her. “I apologize. I never should have said that.”

He sounded horrified. Or maybe mortified. She didn’t know exactly what he’d been picturing, but it was fine with her.

“Don’t worry about it,” she told him.

“I don’t want to be like your TA.”

“Believe me, you have nothing in common with him.” She picked up her glass only to remember it was empty. Hmm, maybe the tequila had kicked in after all. Not that she felt drunk, just relaxed and less whiny.

“You should ask Phoebe out,” she said.

“That again?”

“Yes. It would be good for you.”

“I never should have discussed my personal life with you.”

“Or the lack of one?” she teased.

“That, too.”

She sat up and swung her legs down and put her bare feet on the pavers.

“Declan, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone. Sex is a part of the human condition. It’s not wanting and needing that’s the problem, it’s how people go about meeting those needs that screws up things. What happens between two consenting adults is perfectly fine.”

He looked at her. She had no idea what he was thinking, but that was okay. Just looking at him made her happy.

“You’re holding out for love?” he asked.

She sighed. “At this point I would be thrilled to have someone to take me seriously, but that seems to be a losing battle.”

She picked up her glass and stood at the same time he got to his feet. The sun had slipped below the horizon and the air was rapidly cooling. The night was still and she could hear the sound of their breathing.

His dark gaze locked with hers. Something crackled between them—something hot and dangerous and yet full of promise. She knew that if she leaned toward him, he would touch her. He might even kiss her and she found herself longing for the feel of his mouth on hers. Only... Only...

And then what? After they kissed, what was next? Sex? So they did it and she walked from his bed to hers and then in the morning, what did they say to each other? More important, what did she say to herself? If she was ever going to be more than she was, she had to break the cycle of giving in because it felt good. Dammit, she wanted to be a person with a moral compass and a spine.

“I can’t,” she whispered, before bolting into the house. She ran into her bedroom and closed the door behind her. She didn’t lock it—she didn’t have to. Declan would never walk in without being invited.

She put down her glass and then flopped on the bed. Later she would be all proud and smug but right now she was lonely, tired and sad. She knew she’d done the right thing, but man, did it suck.



Chapter Sixteen


“Margot, stop frowning. Seriously, you’re giving yourself wrinkles and I’m not sure you’re the type who would allow yourself the thrill of Botox.”

“I’m not sure anyone thinks of Botox as a thrill.”

Bianca smiled. “Only those who haven’t tried it, my dear. And I know what I’m talking about.”