The Summer of Sunshine and Margot(63)

“You’re smoking.” He tried not to sound accusatory, but wasn’t sure he was successful. “You’ve never been a smoker.”

“Oh, Alec, the things you don’t know about me could fill volumes.”

She sounded sad and resigned, not at all the woman he knew. Her face was lined and she looked much closer to her actual age than he’d ever seen her. He sat next to her.

“What’s wrong?”

“Margot tried to quit.”

His gut clenched at the words and it was all he could do to keep from running inside to demand that she not leave. An unexpected reaction he would study later.

“What happened?”

Bianca inhaled deeply, then blew out smoke. Her movements were practiced. When had she started smoking and why didn’t he know?

“Nothing happened,” his mother said. “It’s all ridiculous. She took me to a beauty pageant this morning. I was to watch the girls and figure out which ones wanted to be there and which didn’t. The point was to help me see what discomfort and awkwardness look like so I could feel the feelings and deal with them. I don’t know—maybe it wasn’t that at all.”

“What happened?”

His mother offered him a humorless smile. “You keep asking that. She did the same. Nothing happened. No one said anything to me or even noticed I was there. Nothing happened.”

“Then why is Margot quitting and why are you out here smoking?”

“She thinks she’s not good for me. She thinks she’s failing. I told her it wasn’t about her. If she and Wesley were getting married, there would be no problem. She would know exactly what to do in every situation. She would be the perfect wife and he would never have to worry about his career.”

Alec was in over his head and drowning. He could feel himself going under and had absolutely no idea how to reach the surface. Or what they were talking about.

“Margot and Wesley have no interest in each other. Why would you think otherwise?”

Her smile turned genuine. “Yes, my love, I know that. I was trying to illustrate a point.” The smile faded. “It doesn’t matter. Not really. I want to do this. I want to get through the problem or over it or whatever the right word is.”

“What’s the problem?”

She looked at him for a long time. “I’m not really a smoker. Sometimes, when I don’t feel right, I smoke because it centers me. I go through maybe a pack a year. You don’t have to worry.”

“Maybe you should just take a Valium instead.”

She got up and patted his shoulder. “Isn’t that still drugging myself?”

“Yes, but it’s safer.”

“I love you very much, and I love Wesley. You shouldn’t worry. Everything is going to work out just fine.”

With that, she turned and walked into the house.

Alec knew she meant her words to be reassuring but they were anything but. He followed her inside and took the stairs to the second floor, where he found Margot in the guest lounge. She was curled up in a corner of the sofa. Her face was pale and she looked shaken. When she saw him, she flushed slightly, then turned away.

He sat across from her in a chair. “I spoke to my mother.”

“I really should leave.”

“Why? What happened?”

“I have no idea. We went to the pageant and everything was fine. We talked about the purpose, the scholarships and hard work. She wanted to walk around by herself while I spoke to someone I knew. Not ten minutes later, she was upset—crying to the point where she could barely speak. She demanded we leave and yelled at me for taking her there.”

She finally looked at him. “I don’t know what triggered her and I have no idea what was triggered. Obviously she was upset, but about what? She told me I couldn’t possibly understand but that it wasn’t me.”

She folded her arms across her chest. “First the dinner and now this. I’m not doing a very good job here. I’m supposed to help, not make things worse.”

“You couldn’t have known something at a kid’s beauty pageant would affect her so strongly.”

“Did her mother put her in pageants when she was little? Did she have a bad experience at a talent show or something?”

“Not that I know of.”

“If I don’t understand the problem, there’s no way I can help her,” Margot said. “Maybe someone else would do better.”

“She doesn’t want you to go. If she did, believe me, she would have no trouble telling you.”

“That’s what she said. It’s just...” Margot drew in a breath. “What I should tell you is I’m really good at my job and I hate messing up but what I’m really thinking is I like your mom a lot and I wish I could stop hurting her.”

“You didn’t hurt her.”

Her mouth twisted. “I put her in circumstances that hurt her. It’s a fine line, believe me. I’m rethinking my entire plan. Again. It’s not usually like this.”

“Most clients aren’t like my mother.”

She managed a shaky smile. “You did try to warn me.”

He looked at her. “I think you’re helping her. She knows a lot more about Cardigania and she’s very excited about the political fund-raiser.”