The Stranger in the Mirror(59)
I think of the gory image that’s been running through my mind for the past two years. It was a memory. My stomach rises to my throat, and before I can get to the bathroom, I vomit all over the rug.
Julian is by my side in an instant, guiding me upstairs to our bedroom. He deposits me on the bed, then returns with a cool cloth and puts it on my forehead.
“Why aren’t I in prison now? Didn’t you call the police?”
“No, no. You weren’t in your right mind. The voices made you do it. I wasn’t going to let anyone put you away.”
“What did you do with her—her body?”
“I took care of it. That’s all you need to know. It’s enough for now. No therapy today. You need to rest.” He walks to the bathroom and comes back with a glass of water and two pills. “Take these. They’ll help you sleep. We’ll talk more later.”
I swallow the pills and curl up into a fetal position, drawing the covers up to my chin. I want to go to sleep and never wake up. I killed some poor woman whose only crime was to help me bring Valentina into this world. Even in my worst nightmares I would never have guessed that my past was this dark, that I’m an actual murderer. I don’t know how I can live with this. The tears start again, and I turn to Julian.
“You have to protect Valentina from me. I don’t want to hurt her.”
“Listen to me, Cassandra. We’re going to find a way to make the voices stop.”
But I know they’ll never stop, and even if they do, I can’t live a normal life. Now that I know what I’ve done, nothing will ever be the same. I start to tell him, but suddenly my eyelids are heavy and I feel the pull of slumber. Tomorrow is Christmas day and the last thing I think before I close my eyes is that I hope I never wake up.
??49??
Blythe
Blythe finished wrapping the last-minute gift and placed it under the tree with the other presents. When she learned that Darcy was coming home for Christmas, she’d picked out a lovely Escada scarf for her. Darcy and her father would be arriving for dinner soon, and Blythe had asked Hailey and Gabriel to come too. At first Blythe had thought about arranging a lunch with just the two of them, but the more she thought about it, the more strongly she felt that it should be a family affair. After all, the families had been friends all of their lives, so what was wrong with being together and helping them through a holiday season that was going to be difficult for them? When she’d casually mentioned it to Gabriel, he hadn’t really reacted, and Blythe had taken that as tacit approval.
Blythe hadn’t seen much of Gabriel since his return from Boston two weeks before. At the gallery he’d been his charming and friendly self with customers, but otherwise he kept to himself. Even lunches were spent alone in his office, and he made excuses any time Blythe invited him to dinner. She hadn’t pressed him for the details of what had occurred in Boston, but he’d told her that things were truly over with Addison. She knew he must have shared more with Hailey, but Blythe wanted to respect the siblings’ connection. It was enough to know that he was talking to his sister and not keeping everything inside.
Now she turned on the Christmas lights, and as she stood back to look at the tree and the gift-wrapped packages beneath it, she thought back to a few Decembers ago, when Darcy’s mother was alive, Gabriel and Darcy were together, and no one had ever heard of Addison Hope. She sighed. How much had changed.
“It looks beautiful,” Ted said as he walked over and put his arm around her. “We’ve had a lot of wonderful Christmases in this house.”
Blythe leaned against his shoulder. “Yes.” They stood quietly, and she said a silent prayer of thanks for this wonderful man and all that they’d shared together over the years.
The sound of voices made them turn. “I guess the party’s starting,” Ted said.
Blythe turned to see Hailey and Darcy come into the room. “Hello!” She spread out her arms, inviting each of them into a hug. Holding on to Darcy’s hands, she stepped back to appraise her. “You look wonderful, Darcy. I’m so glad you were able to get home for Christmas.”
“I am too. I couldn’t bear the thought of Dad being all alone, even though he told me he’d be fine if I stayed in England.”
“Speaking of your father, where is he?”
“He’s not coming. I’m sorry. He’s been sniffling and coughing all day. Feels like he might be coming down with something and didn’t want to pass it on.” She handed Blythe a wooden Di Bruno Bros. box tied with a large gold bow. “He sent his regrets and asked me to give you this.”
“How nice of him. I’m sorry he’s not well. We were looking forward to seeing him.”
“I’ll give him a ring tomorrow,” Ted said. “See about getting together when he feels better.”
“Why don’t you all have a seat and I’ll get some drinks. Any takers for a glass of eggnog?” Blythe asked.
“Your famous homemade eggnog? You bet,” Darcy said.
“Come on, everyone,” Blythe encouraged the group, but Hailey made no move to sit. “We’ll give you a hand with dinner, Mom.”
The kitchen was filled with a mouthwatering mixture of smells from the turkey and sweet potato casserole in the oven, and the glow of the fireplace lent a warmth and cheeriness to the room. On the mantel sat a simple nativity scene made from hammered tin that Blythe had made when the children were small. Ted uncorked a bottle of Cade Estate Cabernet to breathe, and Blythe ladled out cups of eggnog amid chatter and laughter. Darcy regaled them with stories of settling into London.