The Spitfire Girls(65)

He shook his head. ‘Lizzie, I’m sorry if I offended you. I’ve been asked to train these recruits with military precision, and that’s exactly what I’m doing.’

When he turned and walked away from her, heat flooded her cheeks. What was it about him that rattled her so badly? They were always at odds, no matter what roles they were in!

Lizzie started to compose a letter in her head to May and Ruby, desperate to tell them what she was going on. If only they were here to talk to now.

‘Dunlop!’

She cringed to hear her name called so crudely. Surely she should have a title, given that she was running the show?

Jackson had spun back around to face her. ‘Anyone taught your ladies how to march?’

Lizzie rolled her eyes dramatically, more to annoy him than anything. ‘They’ve just arrived, Montgomery,’ she said. ‘Give them a goddamn break.’

‘That’s Captain Montgomery to you,’ he replied. ‘And I expect them to march everywhere like real soldiers. We’re not in Britain now, Dunlop!’

‘I thought we weren’t real soldiers?’ she asked, perplexed. ‘And I’m well aware what side of the pond we’re on, Captain.’

‘If you’re under my command, you’ll be treated like a soldier,’ he barked, making every young woman within earshot stop and stare. ‘When you’re training in a PT-19 you will be treated like a soldier, and if you’re issued with more than seventy demerit points, you will be treated like a soldier and sent home.’

Lizzie gulped, wondering if this was a routine part of his show to scare new recruits into submission, or whether he was deadly serious. She’d certainly never seen this side of him before.





CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

LONDON, SEPTEMBER 1942

RUBY

Ruby brought the plane in to land and went through the motions, careful to check everything twice before stepping out of the cockpit. She gratefully took the mechanic’s hand, probably holding it too hard as she clung to him on her way down.

She headed straight for the mess room, trying not to shake, trying not to think, trying to stay numb. Her body felt like a prison, keeping the real her, the feeling her, locked away, stifling how she truly felt and how she wanted to act. It took all her willpower not to fall apart.

He could still be alive. Those five words kept echoing through her head, as they had every single minute, every hour, every day since she’d heard the news. He could still be alive. Was she stupid to hold out hope? Was this what every wife, daughter, mother thought when they received similar news, or was she just na?ve?

‘Ruby!’ May’s call rang out across the field. Her commander came running over and placed her arm protectively around Ruby’s shoulder. ‘You’re certain you don’t want to take some time off? You can have all the time you need until . . .’

‘No,’ Ruby croaked. ‘Please, no.’

She needed to fly, because if she couldn’t do her job then all she’d have were her thoughts, and they terrified her. And the last thing she wanted was to go home and have to deal with his mother; she needed to stay strong and keep Tom in her prayers and thoughts, believing that the news might be wrong.

‘Do you believe Tom could be alive?’ she whispered, clutching May’s hand. ‘Am I so stupid to believe he might have made it?’

‘It’s unlikely,’ May answered, ‘but not impossible. We both know the odds. But there’s always a chance.’

‘But what do you think, really? I need to know what you honestly believe.’

May looked at her long and hard, and Ruby knew. ‘Ruby, listen to me,’ she said gently. ‘I don’t want you to give up hope, but believing that someone could still be alive when everything is suggesting otherwise – it’s a cruel trick of the mind.’

Ruby gulped down tears. ‘So you think I’m being silly, holding out hope?’

May took her hand, and Ruby saw her tears reflected in her commander’s gaze. ‘I lost my brother, Ruby, and I loved him more than anything in the world,’ May whispered. ‘But when his plane went down, my mother clung to that hope, believing there was a way he could have survived, and she drove herself crazy holding on to that. Refusing to believe he’d been taken from us.’

May had lost her brother? Why hadn’t she ever said anything before now? Ruby was lost for words. ‘I had no idea. I mean, I knew your brother was a pilot, but . . .’

May nodded. ‘He was. And a mighty fine one at that. But we lost him early in the war and I don’t think I’ll ever stop grieving for him.’

‘I can’t believe I didn’t know,’ Ruby said. ‘I’m so sorry for your loss, May. Truly. I wish I could think of the right words to say.’

May took a big breath. ‘He’s the reason I work such long hours, and the reason I’m so determined to keep you all safe,’ she said. ‘And it’s the same reason I never go home, even when I’m on leave in London. I just can’t deal with going back there – it seems harder than anything else I’ve faced.’ She looked stricken. ‘But hope can be a false friend, so I want you to be mindful of that.’

Ruby nodded, not about to pass judgement. If May couldn’t face going home because of her loss, then that was her business. She shuddered at the thought of having to come face to face with Tom’s mother, and a fresh wave of tears engulfed her. ‘How do you keep going?’ she asked. ‘How do you get yourself out of bed each day and face it all over again?’