The Shadow Throne (The Ascendance Trilogy, #3)(29)

“Havanila. I’ve never heard that name before.”

“It’s where my granddaughter’s name comes from.” Harlowe returned to his thoughts again, and then said, “I lost my dear Havanila a year ago, far too soon.”

I took another sip of the tea. It was clear from the tone of his voice how much he had loved her. How much he still loved her. I wondered which was worse: to love someone who passes too early. Or to never love at all.

“How did she die?” Beyond my curiosity, the question was meant to distract my own thoughts.

The creases in Harlowe’s face deepened as he considered his answer. Finally he said, “I believe it was sadness. You see, there have been three losses in my family. You know of the death of my oldest son, Mathis, a few months ago. Perhaps I’ve never told you, but you remind me a little of him. There are some slight physical similarities, but the likeness is really in your character. Like you, he was stubborn and willful, and hard to discipline. Despite his challenges, I loved him dearly.”

I thought of my own father, the endless battles over his attempts to control me, mold me, and make me see the world through his eyes. And me, resisting all of that, every time. I wanted to believe that despite the troubles I had caused my father, he had loved me just as dearly as Harlowe loved his son.

Harlowe continued, “You may not know, but Mathis had a younger brother. When he was still an infant, he was stolen away by his nurse, an Avenian woman who demanded a large ransom for his return. I would’ve paid it, but never heard from the woman again. It was a terrible winter that year — likely neither of them survived it on the run. My wife never fully recovered from that loss; I’m sure that sorrow eventually led to her death. But I take comfort that if she cannot be with me, at least she is with my sons now in the afterlife.”

“You believe in the afterlife, then?” I asked.

His eyes remained steady on me. “I know it exists. My family waits for me there.”

As my family waits for me.

“I suppose I’m telling you this because although I would never aspire to the role of a king, sometimes I think of you as my own son. I had to go after you in that camp, because I could not bear to lose you too.”

No response came to my mind, so I only wrapped the blanket tighter again. After a long rest, I asked for news of any developments in the war.

“There’s been no word yet from Kerwyn,” Harlowe said. “Let us hope that means he is continuing to work with King Humfrey of Mendenwal, and nothing worse.”

“Their army broke through our borders three days ago,” I said. “They tore through our defenses near Benton and moved northward.”

Harlowe reacted with surprise. “Yes, they brought thousands of soldiers, numbers Carthya could never compete against. But how did you know?”

“Nobody thought I would ever leave that camp,” I said. “They weren’t always as cautious as they ought to have been in their conversations near me. I know far more than Vargan would like to believe. What I don’t know is Mendenwal’s plans now that they’re here.”

“I might be able to help with that,” Harlowe offered. “One of our spies intercepted a message from Mendenwal to Avenia. The bulk of Mendenwal’s armies are taking up camp at Falstan Lake, where they’ll wait for further instructions from Avenia.”

“Then you must send more of our men to Falstan Lake too. We have a good camp in the highlands above the lake.”

“We don’t have nearly enough men to win a battle there, sire.”

“That battle won’t be about numbers. And no one should act until I can get there.”

Tobias, who had been listening, cut in. “Are you sure, Jaron? You may have information now about Avenia. But they know us better too. In your bargain with Commander Kippenger, you told him all your strategies.”

I turned enough to grin at him. “Did I? Why else have I practiced lying in my life, but for that moment?”

Tobias chuckled. “You gave him false plans?”

“Is that an accusation, Tobias? Do you doubt that I am burying the wealth of Carthya in secret caves in the hills of Benton?”

“There are no hills around Benton,” Tobias said. “Nor caves.”

I arched an eyebrow. “Maybe that’s what makes them so secret. Do you doubt that I am melting our warriors’ swords and using the metal for armor? Or that I am seeking peace with Mendenwal by offering to give my future child to their king? Do you? Because Kippenger didn’t doubt any of it. I learned from them, but they got nothing from us.”

While the others laughed, Harlowe picked up our old conversation. “We can get you to Falstan Lake, if you wish. But I urge you to first take time to rest.”

“I’ll rest on my way there. Make sure it’s widely known throughout Carthya that I am alive, and that I’ll be at Falstan Lake.”

“If I send out word, our enemies will hear it too,” Harlowe warned.

“I’m counting on that. But I won’t be there right away. There’s something I must do first.” I turned and asked Mott, “Do we have weapons with us?”

Mott reached in front of him in the boat and withdrew my sword and its sheath. “I was able to get this when they put it in storage a couple of nights ago.” I held out my hand for it, but he only lowered it near him again. Normally, I’d have insisted on taking it, but that seemed like too much effort, and it would’ve been hard to hold anyway. Then Mott gestured to a wrapped bundle near him in the boat. “More weapons are in there too, though we shouldn’t need them. We’ll cross back into Carthya soon. Then get as far as we can from this place.”