The Shadow Throne (The Ascendance Trilogy, #3)(24)

I lost my smile and clicked my tongue, but he quickly shook his head. “Forgive the way that sounded. It wasn’t what you’re thinking.”

He started to say more, but by then Terrowic had returned with Commander Kippenger, who didn’t look at all pleased to be summoned here.

“We need a place to talk,” I said. “Privately.”

“Why not here?”

I glanced around and rolled my eyes toward Tobias and Kippenger’s men. “Because it’s not private, obviously.” He started to turn away, but I added, “I’ll give you what you want. But only if it’s just you and me.”

“No!” Tobias said. “Jaron, what are you doing?”

“Saving your life.” I turned back to Kippenger. “Well?”

He nodded at Terrowic and mole man. “One of you, take Jaron’s friend back to the dungeon. The other will wait here while this boy king and I talk.”

Tobias yelled my name as they unchained him, but I wouldn’t even look at him. He didn’t have to understand my decisions, or like them; they were my decisions to make.

It was much later that evening when Terrowic brought me back to the dungeon. My time with Kippenger hadn’t gone as well as I had hoped, and by then, I was exhausted and ached so badly that I couldn’t even sit up while he rechained me. Tobias begged for some soup for me, but Terrowic refused him. It didn’t matter. I didn’t have the strength to eat it anyway.

“While he’s held captive, you’re responsible for his life,” Tobias protested. “He’s entitled to some basic decency.”

“He’s entitled to nothing,” Terrowic replied. “If your king wanted basic decency, he should have included that in his bargain.”

“What bargain did he make?” Tobias turned to me. “Jaron, what bargain?”

“I told them everything.” It took all my willpower to force myself to a seated position. “Well, almost everything. I gave them enough to negotiate your release. When I see you safely away in the morning, I’ll tell them the rest.”

“No! Jaron, you didn’t!”

“What else am I supposed to do?” I yelled back. “Watch as they punish you for my silence? They’ll eventually get me to talk anyway, but you’ll be dead by then. At least this way, you’ll live.”

“And what about you?” he asked.

“They won’t let me go,” I whispered. “You know that. Not at any price.”

The reality of that was overwhelming, and I slumped against the cold rock wall. He looked me over with an expression of sympathy that I hated more than if he’d felt disappointment in me, or even anger. I turned away from him, but that didn’t protect me from the wretched feeling of being pitied.

“Tell me you’re not broken,” he said. “I know it must feel that way, but you can rise from this.”

“How would you know?” I snapped. “Do you bear the weight of an entire kingdom on your shoulders? Has an enemy country focused all its resources on destroying you?”

“No.”

“And did they take someone you love?”

“No, she’s —” Then Tobias caught himself and immediately switched. “Jaron, did you love Imogen?”

If he hoped for a confession, he wouldn’t get it. I rolled toward the wall and closed my eyes. “I loved everyone who’s been taken from me. So don’t tell me when I’m allowed to break.”





Tobias was supposed to have been released early the next morning, but when I dragged myself out of a deep sleep, he was at the end of a whispered conversation with Commander Kippenger. After the commander left, I asked Tobias what they had been discussing.

“I’m a regent of your court,” Tobias said. “That gives me some value as a prisoner.”

This was not the time for vanity. “You have more value to Carthya alive,” I said. “You should be on your way there already.”

“I agreed to stay, in exchange for some real food and a blanket for you. As part of my terms, they’re also giving you today to rest.”

I wished I were strong enough to refuse the offer and force him to leave, but I wasn’t. I desperately needed the food by then and I was almost constantly numb with cold. So I nodded back at him. Even if I disagreed with his decision, I was grateful for it.

The food was brought soon after, but it was done as a mockery to me. A thick cut of meat and large chunk of bread were offered on a heavy silver bowl fit for a king. For as little as I’d eaten over the past few days, I knew the meat would be too much for my stomach. I tried nibbling on the bread, but it felt just as uneasy inside me.

I kicked the bowl over to Tobias. “You should have this.”

“No,” he said, kicking it back to me. “Jaron, that’s for you.”

“I can’t eat it, and they know that.” I sent the bowl to him again. “It takes a lot of effort to push this over to you, so just take it, please.”

He reached for the bowl, but only stared at it. “I made a deal with them. This isn’t what I wanted.”

“I have the blanket, and that’s enough. Now eat. At least one of us needs our strength.” The food smelled so good that it renewed all the hunger pangs within me. So I wrapped myself in the blanket and lay down to sleep.