The Secret Mother(57)

I drive home, windscreen wipers going full blast, wondering how Carly got on with Fisher. Whether she managed to speak to him. She hasn’t been in contact all day, but maybe by now she’ll have some news for me. She’s so pushy, I’m sure she’ll have discovered something. I park up outside my house, still amazed and thankful that there are no journalists hanging around outside.

Before getting out of the car, I glance up and down the road, but I can’t spot Carly’s red Fiat. She must not be back yet. It’s still quite early, and the weather is so vile, I guess she’ll be taking it easy on the drive back. I give her another call, but it goes straight to voicemail. ‘Hi, Carly. Me again. Let me know when you have some news.’

I dash from the car to my front porch, getting newly soaked in the process. Finally, I’m inside, the sound of drumming rain as loud in here as it is out there. I stand in the hallway for a moment, delaying. I realise I don’t want to call Scott. I don’t want to hear his frustration and annoyance. I don’t like the way he makes me feel guilty and inadequate. Why did I never notice that about him before? Maybe it’s because he’s the opposite of Ben. Ben listens to what I have to say; he takes me seriously and doesn’t patronise me.

For the first time ever I feel like it might be a good thing that Scott and I have broken up. Maybe I’m better off without him. Maybe he and Ellie are actually perfect for each other. But it doesn’t change the fact that he still deserves to know what’s going on with Fisher. I sigh; I’ll delay calling him a little longer. First, I’m going to change into some dry clothes.

Half an hour later, I’m sitting in the kitchen in leggings, an oversized jumper and a pair of thick Fair Isle socks, cradling my mobile phone against my ear. Better to get this over with.

‘Hi, Scott.’

‘Tessa.’ His voice is heavy, resigned.

I want to lay on the sarcasm and tell him: Don’t sound so happy to hear from me. Instead, I’m polite, detached. ‘I’ve got some news,’ I say.

He doesn’t reply.

‘It’s important. It’s about the twins’ birth.’

Scott gives a loud sigh. ‘Not this again, Tessa. I’ve just got in from work and I’d really like to relax.’

‘But it’s to do with Harry Fisher’s father.’

‘I told you before, you need to let this fixation drop. Let it go, it’s over. The boy is back with his father, that’s all—’

‘Just listen for one minute without interrupting,’ I say.

‘Fine.’

I take a breath. ‘Harry’s father, James Fisher, worked at the clinic where the twins were born.’

There’s silence at the other end of the line.

‘Did you hear what I said? He worked there, Scott. At the same clinic.’

‘Are you at the house?’ he asks.

‘Yes.’

‘I’m coming over,’ he says, and ends the call.

Finally! Finally, Scott is taking me seriously. If we can work on discovering the truth together, it will make things so much easier. I know I have Carly on the case, but she’s a loose cannon; she has completely different priorities. I need someone who is truly on my side, who wants to find out the truth as much as I do – Ben was right to suggest including Scott in this.

I hate myself for doing it, but I go into the hall and check out my reflection in the mirror. I may have resigned myself to the fact that Scott and I are finished, but I still don’t want him to see me looking a mess. My hair’s a bit damp, but apart from that, I think I look okay.



* * *



Fifteen minutes later, the doorbell rings. When I open the door to welcome Scott in, I see that he’s not alone.

He’s with Ellie.

My smile falters. What the hell is she doing here? This is nothing to do with her. This is about me and Scott and our children. I can’t believe he’d be so insensitive.

‘Are you going to let us in, Tessa?’ he says. ‘It’s pissing down out here.’

I take a step backwards, too disappointed to speak. I can’t even bear to look at Ellie. I turn my back on them and mutter something about going into the lounge. Ugh, how will I be able to talk to Scott about this stuff with her here, judging me?

Scott and Ellie sit together on the large sofa, while I perch on the other one, feeling like a stranger in my own house. I glance over at her and notice she’s appraising the room, taking in its sorry state – the dust, the gloomy air of neglect.

‘Scott,’ I say. ‘I’d rather we talked on our own, if that’s okay.’

‘Ellie’s part of my life now, Tessa. I want her to be here.’

‘Well, she’s not part of my life,’ I snap. ‘And I don’t want her to be here.’ I hate that I sound so petulant, but I can’t help it.

Scott clenches his jaw and drops a hand onto Ellie’s knee, stroking it like he’s telling her not to worry about his crazy ex. Ellie is the one he’s there for now.

‘Tessa,’ Ellie says, in her childlike voice. ‘We’re here because we’re worried about you.’

Oh my good Lord, if I don’t end up smacking this woman it will be a bloody miracle. I bite my bottom lip to stop myself saying something I’ll regret.