The Saints of Swallow Hill(100)

Rae Lynn said, “I done explained to you what happened.”

“You should a gone for a doctor. It didn’t never make sense to me why you didn’t.”

“I tried. More than once. He wouldn’t have it. You said so yourself.”

Butch’s eyes roved from her to Del, back to her.

“It’s like this, is it? Poor old Warren’s already forgotten.”

“If that were true, why am I here now?”

Butch ignored that and said, “You living a new life now, with him?”

He jerked his thumb at Del.

Butch didn’t wait on her to answer. “Eugene allowed I could buy the place. Told him I wanted it. When he asked me where you were, I said I didn’t know, and that was the truth. I went and sold everything I had. My house. My land. My hogs. All on account of you. I was gonna give you a way to stay here, in your home. With me. Now don’t this beat all? Here I done give up all I had, been waiting, praying, all this time. And for what? For nuthin ’pears like.”

Rae Lynn said, “That ain’t my fault. I ain’t ever give you reason to think such a thing could happen.”

Butch said, “I could hope, though, couldn’t I? I weren’t gonna say nuthin,’ Rae Lynn. I believed what you told me. I only wanted you to think I didn’t.” He tipped his head at Del. “Does he know? You tell him?”

Rae Lynn said, “Ain’t nothing to tell him.”

He said to Del, “Go on, ask her. Ask her what happened here in this very house.”

Del stared at Rae Lynn, and if he’d never been sure of anything before, he was with what he was about to say.

He said, “Far as I’m concerned, ain’t nothing this woman could ever do that would make me think any different of her than I already do. I seen her in the worst of circumstances. Seen everything I need to see. Know everything I need to know.”

His gaze and voice were steady as he spoke, and he saw she considered him in a way she’d never done before. She didn’t stare through him. Not this time. She didn’t look away, neither. All he’d ever wanted was for her to see him as he was, imperfect, but a man who loved her no matter what.

Butch, his voice a lament, replied, “I know exactly what you mean.”





Chapter 34


Rae Lynn


The sharp bite of winter was upon them, but she still went ahead and bought a small marble headstone and arranged to have it shipped to the little house under the pines. When she made the trip back to Harnett County again, this time she took Cornelia along, and in a strange twist, Butch helped them to place it, proper and all.

After it was done, he said, “You can come back, if you want. You know. Tend to it, and whatnot.”

She gave him a distrusting look. The house no longer held the same meaning for her as it had when Warren was alive, but she thought maybe this would help her in some way.

She said, “I’d only come every now and then, maybe leave some flowers, if that’s all right.”

Butch said, “Sure, sure. No problem.”

Rae Lynn pondered this while he returned her gaze with a bland one of his own. She chose to trust him.

Later on, in the truck, Cornelia said, “Maybe he’s changed? ”

Rae Lynn said, “Wonders never cease.”

Through long winter days, she and Cornelia did the outdoor work quickly and came back in to cook hearty meals in the kitchen. It was in mid-February they had an unexpected week of warmer weather, and the daffodils and forsythia went into an early bloom. Rae Lynn hadn’t been to Warren’s grave in months, so she cut some of the forsythia branches and daffodils and snipped off a lock of her hair, which had grown past her shoulders again.

She stuck her head in the back door and said, “I’m going to the old place!” as she’d come to call her previous home.

Sudie May was in the kitchen, “Okay.”

Cornelia was washing dishes and said, “Want me to come?”

Rae Lynn said, “Nah, I won’t be gone long. I’m only going to put some flowers out there.”

As she drove, she’d hoped for solitude and was dismayed to see Butch at the door as she pulled up. He disappeared back into the depths of the house, and relieved, she got out and went around the side of the house, toward the headstone. She stood a moment looking. Ida Neill Cobb’s stone and Warren’s were situated in the shade of the trees. She was about to set the flowers on Warren’s when Butch spoke from behind her. He was close. Too close.

“Ain’t nothing ever gonna be different for me, Rae Lynn.”

His proximity made her draw up.

“I ain’t gonna be here but a minute or so, and then I’m gone. Leave me be.”

“Like before. Just gone. I don’t think so. You owe me. Even more so now, after what I done for you.”

He grabbed her the way he had before, his arms like a vise while professing his love for her all over again. She reacted violently, struggling to break free, and somehow, in the chaos of the moment, she freed her arm and when she did, her elbow hit his nose. He let go of her so fast, she fell back, stumbled, and twisted her ankle.

“Damn it, Rae Lynn!” he hollered.

She felt stupid for trusting him. He’d only been pretending, biding his time till she was alone.