The Resolution of Callie & Kayden(56)

I wet my lips with my tongue, noting how much my heart accelerates, noticing how much I don’t want to run.

Stay.

Stay.

Stay.

My heart beats.

Forever.

And ever.

And ever.

‘Me, too,’ I say then kiss her with as much passion as my heart is carrying, letting her know just how much I love her, and that I always will.





Chapter 23


#165 Accept the Phone Call You’ve Been Dreading.



Kayden


A week passes without anything major happening, and I think, Maybe my life is finally going to get some normalcy. My days consist of practice, school, Callie, work, Callie, and practice. I love the routine and it starts to get me wondering if maybe Dylan was right, perhaps it’s time to let everything with my father go. Move on. Accept football might be my thing and just own it. It doesn’t need to be associated with my father if I don’t want it to be.

Yep, everything is going great in that thing we call life until I got that goddamn call.

The thing is, I knew it was coming, knew it would happen eventually. But what I wasn’t prepared for was who would deliver the news to me. Maybe if I did, I could have prepared myself more.

The unknown number should have been a red flag, but I was working on a final paper and so I was a little distracted when I answered it.

God, I wish I hadn’t been distracted.

‘Your father’s dead.’ The sound of my mother’s voice almost sidetracks me from what she said.

‘How the f*ck did you get my number?’ I shove the textbooks out of the way and sit up in Callie and mine’s bed. ‘Did Dylan give it to you?’ If so, then I’m super pissed. And hurt.

She lets out a hollow laugh. ‘Yeah, right. Like he would ever do that. He thinks he’s protecting you from us by keeping us disconnected.’

I relax a little, relieved Dylan didn’t betray me. And I’m a little pissed off at myself for instantly jumping to that conclusion. ‘He is, though.’

‘Well, you can believe what you want,’ she says, her icy tone unsettlingly familiar. ‘But people shouldn’t disown their family.’

‘I didn’t disown you. You chose to leave and I chose not to let you back in.’ I swing my legs over the edge of the bed, putting my feet on the floor. ‘And I’ve been doing fine with that choice – better than I have my entire life.’

‘Well, I’m sorry we make you so miserable.’ She sounds anything but sorry. Irritated, yes. Sorry, no. There’s a pause and I think she’s waiting for me to disagree with her statement, but I’m not going to. ‘Well, anyway. I thought I’d call to let you know you’re now officially fatherless.’

‘Okay.’ Again, I feel nothing.

Nothing.

Empty.

Cold.

Without a heart.

Except I do have a heart.

It just beats for someone else.

For people who deserve it.

Callie.

‘Jesus, Kayden, you could at least pretend to sound upset about it,’ she says in a surprisingly even tone for someone who just lost her husband.

‘Yeah, well, I guess I’m not as good at pretending as you are.’ I lower my head into my hand, wanting to take what I said back because it’s rude and spiteful, and I don’t want to be that. But I can’t bring myself to retract what I’m really feeling and pretend.

‘I can’t believe how you’re acting,’ she snaps. ‘I raised you to be better than this. Raised you to be the kind of person that would at least come say goodbye to their father before he passed. You know how weird it looked to the doctors and nurses for none of his children to show up?’ My mother has always been into appearances, her motto being that as long as everyone thinks everything is perfect, then it is.

‘About as bad as it looked for the entire town when I got arrested, I’m sure. Or when I was committed because of my cutting.’

‘I can’t believe you’re bringing that up.’

‘And I can’t believe you called me.’ I get up from the bed and start pacing the room, trying to channel my adrenaline in the healthiest way I can think of. I will not give in. I won’t. ‘Dylan could have given me the update.’

‘Update? I can’t believe you just called your father’s death an update.’ She’s verging toward crying. I should feel bad, but I can’t find the will to bring that emotion out of me for her. ‘After everything he did for you; put you into sports, put a roof over your head, bought you all the things you needed.’