The Resolution of Callie & Kayden(4)

I choke on a laugh. ‘I hate to break it to you, but just because you’re majoring in psychology doesn’t mean you know everything. The classes don’t teach you everything.’

‘I know that.’ He puts two fingers to his temple. ‘It’s this bad boy right here that makes me so damn insightful.’

I shake my head, but smile. Regardless of Seth being a know it all right now, he is right – I do need to talk to Kayden.

‘All right, I’ll do it.’

‘You better. And besides, living in an apartment is way, way better than living in the dorms. And you can be super noisy whenever you want.’ He waggles his eyebrows at me.

Despite my blush, I decide to play along. ‘Oh, I know. That’s the main reason I want to move in with Kayden – so I can have some alone time without worrying about roommates walking in on us.’

He gives me the biggest grin ever. ‘Look at my baby girl; all grown up.’

I stand up straighter. ‘Now if I could just get the balls to ask Kayden.’

Seth’s face turns red as he works to stifle his laughter, but it gets the best of him and he hurries and places his hand over his mouth. ‘I cannot believe you just said balls.’

‘You know what?’ I say as we reach the register. ‘I can believe it. I’m not the same girl I used to be.’

He lowers his hand from his mouth and the humor dissolves from his expression. ‘You’re so right. You have changed. You’re so much stronger now.’

Even though it’s our turn to order, we give each other a hug. ‘We’ve both come so far,’ I tell him because Seth has had his own struggles as well and yet here we are – happy, healthy, and enjoying life. Survivors, that’s what we are. I just wish Kayden could see that about himself. Realize just how far he’s come.

Maybe Seth’s right. Maybe it’s time to grab that little space between Kayden and me. After all, I have faced worse than asking my boyfriend to move in with me.

Way, way worse.





Chapter 2


#107 Have a Winter Wonderland Magical Moment.



Kayden


I’ve been in a downer of a mood lately. It’s nowhere near the same as it used to be when I’d get so down I’d lock myself in the bathroom and cut out the pain by slicing my own skin open and letting myself bleed. I won’t go back to that place no matter what happens to me. I refuse to live in that dark hole ever again. I want things to remain light. I just wish I could fully grab onto it like Callie grabs life, but there’s some things – fears – holding me back. An abundance of things bothering me when I really start to analyze it. Like the fact that Thanksgiving is in less than a month, making it almost a year since my father stabbed me then bailed with my mother before he could pay the consequences. It was the year when my already crumbling life fell apart. The year when I just about gave up and ended it all.

But I didn’t. I survived and I should be grateful – which I am – but it still bothers me that my father and mother are who-knows-where, doing who-knows-what, maybe without a care in the world.

Then there’s the fact that my oldest brother, Dylan, invited me to his house for Thanksgiving to a family dinner. I’m not sure what to do with that one, how to react to the word family. I can’t even picture the concept of sitting around the table with my brother and his wife and all of her family, laughing and chatting while we stuff our stomachs with food. Dylan said he would have invited Tyler, too, but neither of us has seen him in quite a while, and we worry that he’s addicted to drugs, living on the streets somewhere like he’s done in the past. Or worse, maybe he’s not alive at all.

I feel like I’m stuck in the past, and I want to move forward. My therapist tells me I need to all the time. But it’s more complicated than it seems and depressing to take in sometimes – the lack of family I have and the fact that I’ll never truly have a group of people there for me.

There is one person who always gets me through my despair, though.

Callie Lawrence.

She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. My ray of sunshine through the rain, the clouds, the storm that’s hovered over my head. She can make me smile when I’m down, laugh when I’m unhappy. She’s the one person who has ever loved me, and who I completely and wholly love back in a way I can barely understand sometimes.

I honestly thought I could never love anyone the way I love her. That I’d never know how to love since I never really learned how to. However, Callie showed me how to open my heart – at least, when it comes to loving her. She makes it so easy and sometimes it confuses me because why couldn’t my family just do it – love each other instead of being so full of ugly hatred?