The Redo (Winslow Brothers #4) (126)

“Yeah,” I say, nodding even though she isn’t looking at me. “I don’t want to break up, but I don’t see how we’re going to be able to stay together.”

She grimaces, her eyes fixated on her shoes. “You don’t think we can manage long-distance,” she says, her voice tinged with sadness.

Fuck. This is hard. Harder than I thought it would be.

“I…I don’t think that would be good for either one of us, you know?”

She looks up at me, and one tear slips from her lid and down her cheek.

I feel like the biggest bastard on the planet.

“Fuck, babe. I’m sorry. I hate this. I hate—”

“It’s okay.” She shakes her head and sniffles. “I understand. You deserve to start college with a clean slate. A new beginning without anything holding you back.”

I don’t know what to say to that, but Maria doesn’t give me any time to figure it out. She stands up from the park bench and leans down to press a soft kiss to my cheek. Her last kiss to my cheek. “Goodbye, Remington Winslow.”

Fucking hell. This isn’t how this was supposed to go. This isn’t how it was supposed to feel—like I’ve intentionally put myself in a meat grinder.

“Maria, I don’t want it to end like this between us,” I start to say, but she shakes her head and pulls up to stand straight.

“Nothing else needs to be said, okay? I understand. You’re moving on, and one day, so will I.” Her eyes shine with more emotion, but she doesn’t linger after that. With a flick of her hair and a turn of her toe, all I’m left with is the sight of her walking away.

I pull my Walkman from my pocket and put my headphones on in an effort to drown out the feeling of sitting on this bench all alone.

I expect it to make me feel better, to help me find the reasoning in my decision and settle into the consequences. But when the opening lyrics of “Someone Like You” start to fill my ears, I find myself thinking, I hope, one day, I’ll find someone like Maria again.





Still Friday, November 15th

Remy

I was such a fucking idiot back then.

An eighteen-year-old prick who broke up with Maria because he was going off to college. Because he wanted freedom. Wanted tail. Wanted to play the fucking field. A dumb little shit who had his priorities all fucked up.

But I know better now.

I know what my priorities are, and I know exactly what the woman standing in front of me means.

“Maria.” I try to get her attention, try to get her to turn around and look at me. “Can you just hear what I have to say about us? About our future?”

“Remy, I really just want to go,” Maria whispers back, and when she turns around to look at me, a fresh sheen of tears makes her eyes shine beneath the dining room lights. “I just want to get Izzy and go.”

It breaks my heart.

“And you want me to stay here?”

She averts her eyes and nods.

“Well, that plan doesn’t work for me, Ria,” I tell her, anger and frustration and adrenaline and even fear starting to pump through my veins. I refuse to let her walk away from me this time. “It’s actually a really horrible plan.”

When she doesn’t respond, still won’t look at me, I keep going.

“When we broke up all those years ago, I remember thinking to myself, I hope I meet someone like Maria again. And I might’ve been a fucking fool back then, but I’m not a fool now. I don’t want someone like you, Maria. I want you. Just you.”

She looks up to meet my eyes, and I step toward her.

“I love you. I’ve always loved you, Maria. But somehow, ever since we got stuck in an elevator…twice…I’ve fallen deeper in love with you each day that we’ve spent together. When I see our future, I see you and me and Izzy. I see more sleepless nights with a fussy baby and busy days with a wild toddler and silly arguments over what movie we’re going to watch when Lexi stays the night. For the past fifteen years of my life, I’ve been closed off. I haven’t wanted a relationship with anyone. But that’s not who I am when I’m with you. I want commitment with you. I need it. This has never been about playing fucking house, Maria. This has been about a man falling in love with a woman and wanting to spend his life with her. This is about me finding my family in you and Izzy.”

I’m nearly angry that she couldn’t see any of this, but at the same time, I can understand why she all of a sudden got cold feet and found herself questioning shit.

“Do you want to know what I really think this is?” I ask and pull the ring box I’ve been carrying around with me since I bought it in a jewelry shop the evening before we left the Bahamas. Three hours after I told Cleo that being in love with Maria felt like coming home.

I set it on the table and look at her. “That’s what I think this is. Forever. Me and you, getting married and spending the rest of our lives together. You are the only woman who makes me want to be a better man. Who makes me want to settle down and get married. Who makes me need all of the things I never thought I needed. You’re it for me, Maria.”

Tears stream down her cheeks, and she stares at the box on the table.

“I want that too,” she says, her tone just barely a whisper and her voice shaking with emotion. “I want that too, Rem. All of it. With you.”