The Reading List(86)

Without a word, Mukesh handed Little Women over and let the boy do his job. As he passed the book over, he felt as if he was giving something up, saying goodbye. To whom? The March sisters? Naina?

As he watched Kyle take the book, his heart returned to Beth, the sister who became unwell, and her big sister Jo who loved her so much. He thought of the chapter where they went to the seaside, in the hope that the sea air would fix everything for Beth. Immediately, in his mind, the seaside Beth and Jo walked along was the same seaside he took his girls to in Kenya, when they were growing up. He remembered hot, sweaty days when he would come home early and take the girls to the lighthouse where they would get barbecued corn on the cob and sit by the sea. The girls would be so joyful, and Naina would be silent, just looking at the view, as Mukesh did everything he could just to entertain them and keep the smiles on all their faces. He wondered if his girls remembered those days.

Then, years later, in the summer, in London, on one of these hot, sticky days, Naina told him that she wanted to see the sea, to relive these memories. Looking back now, he wondered whether it was in the hope that the sea air might fix everything, just like Jo hoped in Little Women. That day, they had got the train to Brighton, with a packed lunch of hummus sandwiches, carrot sticks, some bhajis and tepla. Naina had prepared a flask of chai, a bottle of papaya juice and added some cans of Vimto. They’d pack their tablets in a tiny little Tupperware too.

The train journey was exciting – he remembered it well. He hadn’t seen the sea for years, not since the girls were still young enough to come on holidays with them; even then, it had mostly been wet and windy because they’d stayed in England. On this trip, he felt that he and Naina were youngsters again, in the first few months of marriage, getting to know each other, when his parents had given them time and space, when they hadn’t insisted on Naina helping around the house, or things being a certain way. He held Naina’s hand on the train, and they both just smiled out of the window, watching the scenery rush by.

Naina loved the seaside. Seeing her by the sea that day, sitting on a bench reading her book, the sea breeze ruffling her hair, pulling out strands from her bun, he knew in that moment how lucky he had been, what a wonderful life he’d had with her. What wonderful children. His little women. How could he be this happy to just watch his wife, turning page after page, after years of marriage? How could he feel as though he was still as in love with her as he had been in those first few months of their shared life, learning new things about one another. And when they’d eaten lunch, overlooking the pier, avoiding seagulls, to the soundtrack of laughing, playing, squealing children, he’d told her he loved her with butterflies in his stomach, as though he was telling her for the very first time.

He hadn’t known it then, but Naina only had a year and a half to live. It was the last time she’d see the sea. Looking back now, he was pleased they had gone to the beach, on a whim. But he wished he’d said he loved her every single day.

Now he knew, that just like for Beth, the sea hadn’t breathed new life into her. But it had allowed them time, together, to reflect and remember. Reading about Jo and Beth on the beach, it broke his heart – for Beth’s young life, and for Naina’s too.

As he said goodbye to Beth, Jo, Meg, Amy and Marmee, he accepted Beloved. He wondered what Aleisha would have said to accompany the recommendation. She was so good at helping him feel excited about every new offering when he was still saying goodbye to the old one.

‘What is this about?’ he asked the young man.

‘I’m really sorry, I’m not sure – I’ve not read this one. But Toni Morrison – the author – she’s just wonderful.’

Mukesh nodded. ‘Thank you. Now I would like Ms Thomas’s address, please, thank you? I certainly need to tell her about Little Women – we normally talk about the books she recommends me. It helps me understand them, it’s the full library service.’

The boy shook his head. ‘As I said, I cannot give out that information.’

‘I am an old man,’ Mukesh said, sternly – trying another new tack. ‘And I can cause a scene. If you don’t give me her address, I will be very loud.’ Mukesh looked around the room. He spotted Crime Thriller Chris sitting in the corner again, and waved at him, momentarily distracted. Dotted around the library, there were three other regulars, a large enough number to cause Kyle some embarrassment.

Kyle looked around the room nervously.

‘So. Will you help me?’ Mukesh bellowed.

After a couple of beats, the tension in the library rising, Kyle ran his hands through his hair and sighed. ‘Okay, fine. But please do not say that I gave this to you, I’d lose my job.’

So easy, Mukesh thought. Who could say he was just an invisible old man now?

Good job, Mukesh, Naina whispered cheekily in his ear.

He took the piece of paper from Kyle.

‘Thank you, thank you, sir! You don’t know how helpful you’ve been.’

He turned to go, there was no time to waste, but something gave him pause. ‘In fact, before I leave, do you have a copy of The Time Traveler’s Wife?’ This book had comforted him when he needed it. He hoped Aleisha was okay, but the book might be a good distraction from whatever emergency she was dealing with.

‘I’m sure we do.’ Kyle trotted off and came back a moment later, holding a copy of this special book in its plastic jacket.