The Reading List(77)
Aleisha’s phone buzzed next to her, bringing her back to the present.
Hey! How is book life going?
It was Zac – he’d messaged her every day since the park – first a hello, followed by a book meme or a cat meme (turned out he really liked cats – she couldn’t imagine Mr Darcy liking cats particularly). She’d tried to keep her replies short, not giving too much away. Aleisha thought of Leilah’s comment: ‘Treat them mean, keep them keen.’ Was Aleisha taking on Leilah’s warped Little Women life advice? It would be harder than it sounded. Because she wanted to talk to him all the time.
Nightmare customer just ruined my life! Aleisha texted back.
Do you need anything? Zac’s reply came almost instantly.
Talking to Zac was easier – she didn’t say ‘fine’ when she really meant ‘having a shit day’, she just said ‘having a shit day’. He didn’t know the person she was trying to be with everyone else, so with him she could just be herself.
What you doing later?
No plans! Zac – she knew, deep down, was like her. An outsider, a lonely soul. But Zac wore it well – he never acted as though he wanted to be anything other than himself.
Would be great to see you. I might need your help with something later. If you’re up for it? Book business … but as soon as she typed it all out, she deleted it and rewrote her message with less eagerness: Might need your help with something – it was the best she could do.
Suddenly her phone started flashing. Incoming call: Zac.
Before hitting the green button, she felt her heart pound in the middle of her throat for a moment. She’d never spoken to Zac on the phone before. ‘Hello?’ She heard her voice, higher and squeakier than normal.
‘Hi. Want to go for a drive later? If you can. After I’ve helped you out with your book biz. Thinking of going to somewhere like Richmond. Through the park. What do you think?’ He sounded his usual cool, calm, collected self.
Aleisha had never been to Richmond. She knew Aidan was in this evening, for the first time this week, so as long as she was back by nine, before he had to head out for his next shift, she was free to do what she liked. But it felt like too much to ask of Zac, to outline a curfew as if she was a 12 year old. Her skin started to prickle with nerves, her thoughts darting to Leilah.
‘Yeah, that would be nice,’ she said, shutting down the doubts in her mind. Her voice quivered with awkwardness. ‘I actually need your car for that work thing. Happy to help?’
‘Obviously, boss. Text me when your shift ends and I’ll pick you up. It’ll be really nice to see you.’
By the time Aleisha was locking up, Zac was already sitting outside in his Vauxhall Corsa, the windows wide open, music softly tinkling out. The complete opposite of Aidan, who was only capable of playing music at an antisocial decibel in his car.
He had his forearm resting on the door. He saw her; his face lit up. Aleisha couldn’t tell if she was hungry or if her stomach was actually doing somersaults. Elizabeth Bennet and her standoffishness would not be impressed with her.
As she opened the car door she suddenly felt exposed. She shuffled into the seat, scared about hitting her head on the roof, or knocking the gear lever or something stupid like that. She felt as though she’d lost control of her limbs.
‘Hi,’ he said, ‘ready? Where we going?’
‘Absolutely, first stop, Hanwell Library. We need to get there a.s.a.p. Someone’s waiting.’ She used her formal business tone, reserved only for grumpy library customers, to mask the anxiety pumping through her chest.
‘Top-secret mission. Love it,’ he joked.
They drove mostly in silence, or more accurately in annoyingly subtle music, for a while. And, eventually, the traffic and the heat got to them. Zac grew steadily more frustrated as the temperature ramped up in the car as the traffic crawled along.
‘This is meant to be a twenty-minute drive, if that, and I feel like we’ve been here for an hour.’
‘It’s been half an hour, and we’re nearly there,’ Aleisha said consolingly. She realized she was using the voice Aidan sometimes adopted with Leilah, and her mind flew to the two of them. What were they doing? Was Aidan sitting with Leilah? Were they watching a film? She felt a pang of guilt that she was here, with someone, and they were both at home. She could have been spending the evening with her brother, for the first time in for ever.
She gulped the regret down, with no time to waste or wallow, and as they pulled up, Aleisha jumped out of the car and knocked on the Hanwell Library door. The librarian was sitting there, typing something into her computer, the angry customer’s books already stacked up next to her, ordered, as suspected, to the wrong library.
After another twenty-six-minute drive, more sassy comments from Zac, through the traffic and damp heat of the North Circular, Aleisha finally dropped the books off with the woman right on her doorstep.
‘Finally,’ the woman said.
‘You’re welcome,’ Aleisha beamed back, hoping the woman could smell the sarcasm.
‘Took you long enough.’ She took the books and shut her door with no whisper of thanks.
Aleisha rolled her eyes – she so wanted to say something back, to shout through the letter box, but she thought of Marmee, the March sisters’ mum, who was all about being polite to anyone and everyone. She was fictional, but she was right. It wasn’t worth it.