The Reading List(76)

Aidan just gave her a quick pat on the arm and stomped into the kitchen.

‘Mum’s resting.’ Aleisha followed him. ‘I’ve been reading to her.’

Aidan poured himself a glass of water from the bottle in the fridge. He downed it all before he looked at his sister for the first time.

‘Aidan … I’m just amazed, you know, it’s really working. She’s like getting into them.’

‘That’s really good, Leish,’ Aidan said, absently. He was wandering around the kitchen, picking bits from various cupboards: a plate, a fork and knife, a Tupperware of leftover curry. He didn’t look her in the eyes.

‘I’m glad there’s something that I can actually do to help. Usually it’s only you who can get through to her,’ Aleisha said, silently begging him to pause for a moment. To allow himself a moment to just stay still.

Aidan looked at her then. ‘Aleisha, it’s not just me who can get through to her. You do it too. You’re good at it. Better than me really.’ His voice was soft, distant. ‘I’m happy the books are working, for you both.’

Aleisha looked down at her feet this time – it was a half-compliment, but it was more than she’d had from anyone in a long time.

‘Mum seems to be doing much better now anyway, doesn’t she?’ Aidan prompted.

Aleisha shrugged.

Aidan started piling his food onto his plate. ‘I’m sorry we’ve not seen each other much – work’s been busy, and I know I’ve been focused on having someone at home with Mum all the time, but, I don’t know, she’s doing better, way better.’

Aleisha watched him. She didn’t agree – but she didn’t want to say that to Aidan. She could see he was trying to convince himself. It wasn’t like her brother to be optimistic when it came to Leilah. What was on his mind?

‘I’ve got loads of shifts over the next few days, Leish,’ he continued. ‘I won’t see you much, okay? But Mum’ll be fine, you’ll be great with her. You are great.’ He turned round then and smiled at her.

‘I’ll miss you,’ Aleisha said quietly. ‘It’s been ages since we just spent time together.’

‘I know, but you’ll do fine without me. Whatever you’re doing with Mum, it’s really working, Leish.’

He headed out of the kitchen, his plate in his hand, and gave her shoulder a squeeze. ‘All right?’ he said to her. She nodded. Before she could ask him the same thing in return, he trudged up to his room without turning back round.

Trying to lighten Aidan’s mood, Aleisha left a jokey ‘Welcome Home’ Post-it for him on the fridge. But he’d been true to his word – she heard him click the door quietly shut in the morning before she woke up, she heard the door squeak open again when he got home, but other than that, there hadn’t been any indication as to his presence other than the Post-it notes he’d stuck to the fridge to remind her to do things. They had been, once again, ships in the night. All she really wanted was to hang out with her brother, find out how he was, actually talk to him. She knew there was something on his mind, something he wasn’t telling her.

She turned this all over in her mind as she clutched Beloved close to her. She wasn’t going to give it up to the grumpy woman at the library. If Aidan wasn’t around for a few days, working non-stop, the only power Aleisha had to keep Leilah calm was the books. The books filled the space where there had once been silence.

Mr Patel would be at the library soon. She had checked out another edition of Little Women for him already. She imagined he’d be excited to read it – it was the one book he seemed to talk about frequently, without having any idea of what it was about. Though he often called it ‘Little Ladies’.

Eleven o’clock came and went. Eleven thirty came and went too. Aleisha kept checking the clock, checking the door. No one else bothered her. Everyone opted for the self-service machines today, or just settled themselves down into armchairs to read. She was glad of the peace. But she’d been looking forward to talking to Mr P. He never gave very much away, but she found it so refreshing to talk to someone who wasn’t her brother or her mother, and she wanted to hear more about his trip into London with Priya. For some reason, she’d become invested in this old man’s life, maybe as a distraction from her own, but maybe because they were friends now too.

Mr Patel came with no preconceptions. He didn’t look at her as though she was ‘troubled’, though she had told him some things about her ‘shitty home life’. That’s how she put it. He had said, ‘Oh, is your dad not around?’ and she’d laughed at how clichéd it was. That it was clichéd, but spot on.

‘He has his own family now.’

‘You are his family too.’

‘Not to him.’

Mukesh had kissed his teeth then. ‘Stupid idiot.’ He had tried to say it quietly, but she had caught it anyway.

‘Oh, hai, I am so sorry. Bad potty mouth!’ Mukesh’s hand flew instinctively to his face, his eyes wide with surprise.

She laughed.

‘No, you’re right! Stupid idiot. I wish my mum knew that too. That it was all on him. Not her.’

‘I am sure she knows. Sometimes men are stupid. I think, anyway. I have three daughters, and none of them are stupid.’