The Reading List(38)

Mukesh saw the horror in the boy’s eyes. ‘I should come more,’ he babbled hurriedly, trying to ease the awkwardness. Mukesh clutched the book for dear life, hoping it might help him channel Naina. ‘Enjoy the walk.’ He waved at Chirag and walked away towards the entrance of the mandir, wondering what uncomfortable conversation he would find there. Naina would have known what to do, what to say, in any and every moment. Everyone loved her – the women at the mandir, the men, all the volunteers. She had been the community-minded one, and she had done this walk every single year. Now, being here, surrounded by people … he could feel her, couldn’t he? He could feel her spirit.

‘Excuse me, sir,’ a small boy in an oversized reflective vest said, as Mukesh tried to enter the mandir. ‘The queue for the walk is back there.’ He pointed back towards the crowd of people he had just tried to escape from.

‘I want to go into the mandir.’

‘Are you not here for the walk?’

Mukesh really wanted to say no. Right on cue, again, Harish appeared, out of nowhere.

‘Get in line, my friend,’ he said to Mukesh. ‘You will walk with me, no?’

Mukesh nodded and followed Harish, looking back at the boy, pleading. The boy shrugged.

They reached a woman with a clipboard. ‘This is my friend Mukeshbhai – he is going to be Sahilbhai today.’ She ticked Sahil’s name off the list without a second thought. Here we go, Mukesh thought to himself, taking a deep breath.

As everyone got ready, and once the sadhus had performed the ceremonial prayers and rituals, the ribbon was cut and the walk officially began. Harish’s best friend Vivek was at the front, holding up a red umbrella to lead the way.

Mukesh squeezed his book, for good luck, and Naina’s voice came to him. His talisman was working! Well done, you did this. You’re actually here! She was laughing. He felt his body flood with energy, and that optimistic spirit Naina always had too. She’d be happy he was out ‘meeting’ people – he hadn’t done this kind of thing for years. Maybe the library had been the first step out of his comfort zone. For a little moment, he held himself taller, prouder. He even felt a little invincible.

That was, until he tried to make conversation with Harish – always a thankless task, even for the invincible. Mukesh desperately hoped if he pelted him with questions, Harish would eventually get bored and walk faster to get away. ‘Harishbhai, how is your eldest grandchild doing applying for university?’

‘Ah, Bhagwan,’ Harish waved his arms melodramatically. ‘It has been a nightmare, bhai – but I am still hoping he will get into Bristol or Bath. Very good universities. He did not get into Cambridge. We believe he is just too bright, also much too sociable and well rounded. He would not be suited to the purely academic lifestyle there.’

‘Ah, yes, I can only imagine how stressful. It was not like this when my girls were young.’

‘No, no it was not. Parents all care too much now. My son is constantly googling chances and predictions based on his son’s estimated grades and to see which university is best. When he was going, we let him make the decisions – we just said work hard, do what is best.’

‘Yes, that is what we told my girls too – they all turned out brilliantly.’

‘I never even went to parents’ meeting. Now, when my son was on a business trip, he video-called his wife so he could be there at the same time and hear what was happening. He bought extra data especially.’

‘Is that a bit over the top, bhai?’

‘No, Mukeshbhai,’ Harish looked horrified. ‘Not any more. This all means so much for our future – for our country’s future now. Our children and grandchildren have more chances now. We have given them that. Neel is going to be a lawyer, you know. He will be the first lawyer in the family. I have high hopes for my granddaughter too. She likes medicine. I hope she will be pharmacist. Probably not doctor. She is very squeamish.’

‘A lawyer – very exciting! We must keep in contact. Never know when you need a lawyer.’ He thought of the only other soon-to-be lawyer he knew, Aleisha, and felt a smidge of pride.

‘I imagine your Priya will be one, ne? Always with her head in a book. If she can read lots, she can be a lawyer.’

‘She is young still.’

‘But she is thinking now about the future, ne?’

‘Priya wants to be a writer or a bookshop worker.’

‘But for a real job, I mean. Not hobby.’

‘They are real jobs.’

‘But I mean what about lawyer? Neel can tell her about the course when it is time for her to study.’

‘She doesn’t want to be a lawyer.’

‘Doctor? Businesswoman? Na?’

Mukesh shook his head.

‘Don’t worry, my friend. My Neel wanted to be a football player and a fireman at her age. They grow out of these things. I’m sure you do not have to worry.’

‘I am not worrying,’ Mukesh said firmly.

They both fell silent, not knowing where to go next with the conversation. Harish rolled his eyes. If he was trying to be discreet, he wasn’t trying very hard. Harish waited a polite three minutes before breaking off to join another group, talking excitedly and loudly about the cricket.

Mukesh was pleased to be alone, and could feel his energy cascading back to him, ready to keep going, to do Naina proud. Before he could speed off, Naina’s closest friend at the mandir, Nilakshiben, trundled over to join him. Naina and Nilakshiben, once upon a time, had been inseparable.