The Rabbit Girls(87)

Miriam lets out a small hiccup. ‘Tea, please, with a dash of milk,’ she says, and like a drop in the ocean she realises. She didn’t pause to wait for Axel to order for her, or to check with him first. She answered with exactly what she wanted. ‘Tea,’ she repeats, and smiles.

She isn’t alone. She can’t be because, finally, she is beginning to know herself. When the officer returns with a tray of hot drinks, Miriam sips hers and warms her hands on the cracked cup.

‘I’m sorry,’ she says, finding her voice again, her throat soothed from the tea.

‘It’s not a problem, you have been through a lot.’

Miriam smiles, knowing she has been through nothing in comparison to others.

The older officer starts talking again. ‘Back to Axel offering you a chance to leave. Can we go back to that? I’m wondering why you didn’t call the police?’

She sees Officer Müller look over at him and roll her eyes, which gives Miriam some confidence to speak frankly.

‘Why? He was in my house, doing nothing but talking to me, and you don’t know Axel, he’s a very patient person. If I call the police when Axel is doing nothing I look crazier than ever.’

‘So you stayed.’

‘Yes,’ she says, and she notices her shoulders roll and her hands wind themselves in the inner silk of her coat. ‘Otherwise I’m giving him what he wants. He hurt me in the hospital, assaulted me. He used that, he said it showed my neurosis, how sick I am, he used the truth and turned it into a lie.’

The male officer opens his mouth to speak but Miriam continues, ‘Do you know I have been married for over twenty years? All this time with a man who has been set on destroying me. I have lost my job, I have been given medication that made me sleep, some made me swim through the day. Some of the pills made me dribble and drool like a dog, others made my mouth so dry my tongue felt it had been made from sandpaper. This was all him. He made me take those pills and he manipulated the doctors to keep prescribing them. He called himself my carer, took me away from my family, and I was too drugged to notice what I’d lost. So I want a divorce and now I’m sitting here. Will you arrest me?’ Her voice breaks and she sips the last of her tea.

‘Miriam, this is just an interview to find out your version of events,’ Officer Müller says.

‘My version of events is what happened. You know I’d rather be in prison for the rest of my life than with that man. I’d freely go to the mental institute, but for the medications. I can’t stand not being able to think.’

‘Miriam, are you listening to me?’ She stretches her hand across the table palm down. ‘You are not in any trouble here. We have seen the bruises on your neck, and the injuries, the damage to his nose, the scratches on his wrists, are all linked to him choking you. What we need to know, and this is serious, is the intention behind the attack on him. He says you hit him with the telephone, is that true?’

‘No, I was blacking out, I couldn’t breathe, I thought I was going to die. Then Eva must have hit him, because the pressure eased off my neck and Axel slumped off me. It was ages before I could see again and when I did Eva was beside me. She saved my life.’

‘How did this Eva get into your apartment?’

‘She has a key. I got the locks changed after Axel got into my apartment the other day. Eva has a new key.’

‘How long have you known her?’

‘Not long, she is an old friend of my parents’.’ Although not entirely the truth, Miriam doesn’t think twice.

‘Where is Eva now?’

‘I don’t know,’ Miriam says.

‘Do you have another address for her, a telephone number? She’ll need to corroborate these events.’

‘Will she be in trouble?’

‘I don’t think so, but with this type of situation . . .’

‘Is Axel going to make trouble out of this?’

‘He has made a complaint, yes, but I can’t see us being able to pursue this further, seeing as he attacked you.’

‘In your own home,’ adds the older officer. ‘He says he signed the divorce papers and left them with you, is this true?’

‘I don’t have them.’ She shakes her head, overwhelmingly tired; crying is exhausting. She tries to focus, but her tea has made her warm and as the officers speak, she can feel her eyelids close.

‘We can see you are very tired, Miriam. We will be in touch.’ Officer Müller touches the file in front of her. ‘We have all your details. And can you ask your friend to come down to the station, so we can have a chat with her too. Your security guy’ – she consults the paper in front of him – ‘a Herr Lionel Ambrose, he’s stated the presence of a third party, a woman, so it should all line up. But we do need to talk to your friend.’

‘Sure.’ Miriam stands as the officers do. ‘Thank you.’ She shakes both their hands and moves on wobbly feet. ‘I’m sorry for all the tears,’ Miriam squeaks, her voice gone.

‘You’ll need to check your neck with a doctor.’

As the door opens and Miriam is rustling with her coat she hears a familiar voice.

‘I am Eva Bertrandt. I tried to kill Axel Voight.’

Miriam looks to the front desk and there is Eva. Her voice deep and loud in the empty room. In her arms is the intercom phone and she passes it to the officer on the other side of the desk as if it is a baby.