The Paid Bridesmaid(83)
“Really?” Camden said, but there was something off in his voice. “Small world. How did you two meet?”
Theresa was still silent, probably every bit as freaked out as I was feeling. Vinnie didn’t seem to notice, though. “They’ve been in a yoga class together for years.”
Camden turned toward me, his expression serious. Accusing. “Vinnie lives in Vermont.”
“Yeah.” Vinnie finally seemed to be sensing that something might be off. “So does Rachel.”
“Funny thing,” Camden said, his eyes boring into me. “Vinnie and Theresa got married last year. I remember because Dan and I argued about going. We were busy and neither one of us could afford to miss work, so we compromised by sending a nice gift.” Then he turned back toward Vinnie. “And Rachel told me she’s been living in New York for the last four years. So unless that instructor in Vermont is worth interstate travel, I don’t know how that’s possible. Not to mention Rachel’s deep-seated loathing for yoga.”
Vinnie started asking questions, understandably confused. Theresa stepped in and tugged at his arm, dragging him off while he sputtered the whole way. He demanded to know what was going on. I saw the reluctant expression on her face, how she cast her eyes down, and then I heard my name. And the name of my company.
I wanted to glance up at Camden, to see how much he’d just overheard and if he’d worked things out yet. I couldn’t meet his eyes. My whole life was falling down around me. Like every lie I’d told him had been part of an elaborate house of cards that was fluttering down so quickly there was no way that I could catch them and try to rebuild.
It was just gone.
My heart stopped and then restarted, but low and heavy so that I felt like I couldn’t breathe. “I can explain. I couldn’t before, but Sadie gave me permission and I can tell you what’s going on.”
“You lied to me.” Camden’s voice was so low that I nearly missed what he was saying. “You’re not Sadie’s friend. I took you at your word because of that friendship.”
“If that’s the only reason you trusted me and believed me when I said I wasn’t some corporate spy, which I’m not, then I don’t know . . .” What argument could I make? Yes, I wasn’t a spy, but I had deceived him.
“None of this is about the spy thing. It’s about the fact that you lied to me every day since we’ve met. What else have you lied about? Is anything you told me real?”
“Of course it was. Almost everything I told you was the truth. Or some version of the truth,” I corrected myself. Like I wasn’t an event coordinator. Not technically, but it was close.
“Oh, we’re dealing with versions of the truth now?” He ran both of his hands through his hair and that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach just got worse and worse. “I feel so stupid.”
“This wasn’t about you. I mean, what I said and what I did had nothing to do with you. It’s between me and Sadie and was none of your business.” It was like every possible wrong word that could fall out of my mouth did. I wished I could take it all back as soon as I’d said it.
His expression went flat. “Right. It is none of my business. You’ve made it abundantly clear from the beginning that you don’t want me to be part of your life. You kept me at arm’s length, even when I could tell you liked me, too. And I wanted to be with you so badly that I was willing to overlook it. I just ignored my instincts that something was going on.”
Desperation began to build inside me. “Camden, wait. You haven’t let me explain yet. There’s a reason why I did what I did.” I reached for his forearm, but he pulled it out of my reach.
“I don’t need an explanation right now,” Camden said, averting his gaze from me. His expression shattered me. He looked like he felt used, when that was so far from what had actually happened. Before I could tell him as much, he said, “What I need is to go for a walk.”
Watching him walk away . . . it was like I recalled every bad thing that had ever happened to me. Every time my heart had been broken, my trust betrayed, the rug pulled out from under my feet, every time it seemed like things were never going to be okay again—this moment was a thousand times worse than all of those combined.
I’d known it. I’d known this would happen. That he would find out the truth and leave. He’d just proved me completely right. Krista had said I couldn’t predict behavior, but I’d called this.
My chest physically hurt, as if someone had torn me open with their bare hands and pried out my heart. I had to cling to the back of my chair to stay upright. There was a stinging in my throat as anguish lanced through me, clawing at the pieces of me that were still functioning.
I realized that this incredible pain, one that threatened to drag me under and hold me there, wasn’t because of regret or guilt or anything else.
I didn’t just like Camden. I’d said I was starting to have feelings for him, but that wasn’t it.
I’d fallen in love with him.
But I didn’t cry. Even though my chest felt constricted and my eyes watered and my throat felt like someone was pressing against it, I held in those tears. Because it felt like I didn’t deserve to cry. I had done this to myself.
I couldn’t let myself drown in my pain. Time to focus on putting one foot in front of the other because I still had responsibilities. I got up and let Troy know that Dan and Sadie had left, so he was officially off duty. He looked relieved. I didn’t have to say anything to Hank, given that all of the camera crews were already gone. Whether that was because they’d figured out that the newlyweds had left or because they’d inadvertently broadcast the ex-girlfriend drunken mother cake-toppling fiasco, I didn’t know.