The Other Woman(43)

He sighed. ‘We were properly into each other. Rightly or wrongly, we dropped our mates, and even our families when they said we were spending too much time together. We wouldn’t hear of it. We honestly thought we were going to be together forever, and everyone else would just have to take us as we were or not at all. There was no alternative as far as we were concerned.’

‘I don’t understand then. What changed?’

‘We’d been together for five years. I was doing well at the bank, and she’d finished her teaching degree and had got a job in an infant school, close to where she lived. We’d found a place to rent in Westerham, our first home together, and were about to move in.’ His voice cracked.

‘Tell me,’ I coaxed gently. ‘What happened?’

‘She was so excited, and had taken a couple of days off from school to get the place set up. I was on my way there after work, when Mum called to say something had happened.’

‘What? What had happened?’ I pressed.

‘It didn’t make sense, because I’d called just before I left the office to tell her I was on my way, and she sounded so happy. She said she’d made a chilli and to hurry on up.’

His eyes filled up. I’d not seen Adam cry before and I didn’t know whether to feel sad or resentful that someone other than me had caused it.

‘I ran all the way from the station, but by the time I got there, it was too late. The ambulance was already there, but there was nothing the paramedics could do to bring her back.’

I gasped as my hand flew to my mouth.

‘She was gone.’ He was sobbing now, hard, gut-wrenching sobs from the pit of his stomach, and I moved up to hold him.

I didn’t know whether to push him any further, but it would have felt odd not to know how or why.

‘What happened?’ I asked.

‘She’d always been asthmatic since she was a little girl, but she had it under control. She was able to lead a normal life, partying, going to the gym – as long as she had her inhaler, she was able to manage it. It was something we had to think about, but it didn’t stop us from doing anything. She was fit and happy.’

‘So why didn’t she use her inhaler?’

He laughed sarcastically, but I knew it wasn’t aimed at me. ‘That was the million-dollar question. She never went anywhere without it, but in all the excitement of moving, we think she just forgot.’

‘We?’

‘Me and her parents. She’d left one at theirs, but she always had a few dotted around, just so there was one at hand if she needed it. I found one in the kitchen drawer but it had run out. So she must have just forgotten, or lost sight of where they were, and which ones needed refilling.’

‘I am so, so sorry,’ I whispered. ‘Why haven’t you told me this before? I could have been helping you all this time. So that you didn’t feel alone.’

‘I’m okay.’ He sniffed. ‘Mum has always been there for me. She found her and called 999. It was hard for her because she adored Becky as much as I did.’

I felt a small stab in my chest at that. Suddenly it was ‘Becky’, and between her, Adam and Pammie, they had a bond that I could never be a part of, and which could never be broken. It felt like a competition that I just couldn’t begin to take part in. I berated myself for being so selfish.

I should be looking at it as a way forward, to help find answers in the complicated dichotomy that is the Banks family. It certainly went a long way to explaining why Pammie behaved the way she did towards me, and I softened at the thought that it was more to do with grief for Rebecca than a hatred towards me. I could begin to understand that: it gave me something to work with, something to use in her defence.

Adam shifted from beneath me, and pulled himself up to sit on the side of the bed. He sniffed and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

It wasn’t important, but I couldn’t resist. ‘Would you still be with her now, if that hadn’t happened?’

He snorted, shook his head, and stood up. ‘You’re unbelievable,’ he said, before picking up a t-shirt and shorts from the end of the bed.

‘I’m just asking.’

‘What do you want me to say to that?’ he said, his voice rising. ‘That yes, if she hadn’t died so tragically, we’d still be together? Would that make you feel better? Would it make you feel good to know that?’

I shook my head, suddenly embarrassed.

‘Well then, don’t ask stupid questions if you don’t want to know the answers.’

I hadn’t meant anything by it, but I could understand how it might have come across. I thought that now we’d finally been able to make love, Adam would feel happier and less stressed, but it still felt as if he had an anger just bubbling under the surface. All the time – directed at me.

‘I’ll go and finish dinner,’ he said.





21

I don’t know how Mum had become involved in the organization of my hen do. I’d officially handed the baton to my chief and only bridesmaid, Pippa, but then Seb had put his ha’penny in, and Mum a ha’penny more, and suddenly we all found ourselves tiptoeing through a minefield.

Pippa was bitching about Seb’s need for control, Mum was moaning that Pippa was keeping things from her, and I was just a pawn in the middle, not knowing whether I was coming or going.