The Other Woman(39)

‘I hope so,’ I said honestly.

‘Trust me,’ he said, putting his hand over mine and looking at me intently.

It felt like I’d been given an electric shock as his skin touched mine, but, although my instinct was to pull away, I didn’t want to make him feel awkward.

‘Excuse me, I ought to check my phone,’ I said, my voice slightly more high-pitched than normal. I hoped he couldn’t tell how nervous I was.

I reached for my phone in my bag.

‘And how’s things going with Adam?’ he said, stopping me in my tracks.

I looked at him, and his deep-blue eyes were staring back. I suddenly had an overwhelming urge to cry. Embarrassed, I reached for a serviette from the holder on the table and dabbed at my eyes.

‘You okay, Em?’ he asked, concern written all over his face.

Hearing him call me that, like an old friend, made it even harder to hold back the deluge. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

He reached across the table and pulled my hand away from my face, holding it still.

‘Do you want to tell me what’s going on?’

I could. I so wanted to. But how would that be fair? I shook my head.

‘I need to go,’ I said, suddenly desperate to get out of there. I pushed my chair back from the table, but he still had hold of my hand, his gaze unwavering.

‘I’m always here for you, Em,’ he said. And, as I looked into his eyes, I believed him.

I could hear my own heartbeat pounding in my ears, thumping like a drum. A sudden whoosh made me feel as if I was underwater, drowning in my own thoughts.

I grabbed my bag off the back of the chair and pulled away from him. ‘I have to go,’ I said, before turning in a daze and weaving though the confines of the eight-table cafe that should only have four. I banged into shoulders and knocked cups as I went, spilling tea into saucers, warranting the ‘oi, watch yourself!’ that I heard as I reached the door.

My head filled with James’s words as I rushed up the incline towards the Strand. I’m always here for you. I wanted to run. I had to get as far away as possible. Otherwise I was in very real danger of going straight back to him.





19

‘What the hell . . . ?’ said Seb.

I had to tell somebody – somebody who wouldn’t judge me – and although I knew I could tell Pippa in confidence, we hadn’t seen so much of each other since I’d moved out, so Seb’s was the first pair of ears I could trust.

‘So, you just walked out of there?’

‘Please, you’ve got to help me,’ I implored. ‘You’ve got to make me see sense in all this.’

I’d calmed down in the twenty-four hours since I’d met James, but my head was foggier than ever. What had happened there? And why was it affecting me so much? He hadn’t meant anything by what he said, I was sure of it, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling of unrest. It wasn’t what was said, it was more about the unsaid.

‘I mean, do you think he was coming on to you? Like, seriously?’ asked Seb.

‘Yes! No . . . I don’t know.’ I groaned, dropping my head back onto his sofa. ‘It was just, in that moment, I honestly felt like I was capable of anything. I wanted to talk to him, kiss him, run away with him . . .’

‘Well, the latter wouldn’t have been very wise, but you probably could have got away with a kiss!’

‘You’re not helping,’ I said, slapping him on the arm. ‘This is serious. What am I going to do?’

‘Okay,’ he said, his face suddenly stern. ‘What do you want to do? Let’s explore your options. The way I see it is this: you love Adam more than anything?’

I nodded.

‘But you think his brother is hot?’

‘Seb!’

‘Sorry, okay, right back with you. You don’t think his brother is hot?’

I remained expressionless.

‘Ooh, okay, so you do? Just a little bit? Am I getting warm?’

‘No, I don’t know. He’s just so different to Adam. He listens to me, offers advice, doesn’t think I’m being paranoid about Pammie. He really seems to understand where I’m coming from, and we have a genuine respect for each other.’

‘And he’s as hot as hell?’

I threw a cushion at him. ‘Yes, he’s also as hot as hell!’

‘I knew it!’ said Seb.

‘But it’s more than that. He makes me feel valued in every respect. Honestly, Seb, you know what I’m like, I can’t see a ten-tonne truck until it’s on top of me, but I could see it in his eyes. He would have done anything to help me, and knowing that makes me feel wanted. And right now, that’s a dangerous place for me to be.’

‘So, have things not improved any with Adam?’ asked Seb, serious now.

I shook my head. ‘No.’ I could feel a stinging at the back of my throat. ‘James has just caught me at a low ebb, and I’m pathetically flattered by the attention. If it had happened at any other time, I would just bat it away and think nothing more of it.’ I didn’t know who I was trying to convince: Seb or myself.

‘Okay, so that leaves us with a man you love, who you’re not having sex with, and a man you don’t love, but who you’d kill to have sex with?’