The Lost Man(65)

‘It’s bad luck. The stockman will get upset.’

Ilse appeared to be fighting not to roll her eyes. She succeeded, barely. ‘Sweetheart, the only person who got upset about fingerprints on the painting was Dad. Come on, it’s time for bed anyway.’

Sophie threw a final warning look at Nathan then reluctantly disappeared back into the hall. Ilse went to follow, pausing at the door.

‘She’s right, though,’ she said. ‘Cam really hated anyone touching the painting.’

‘I’d better leave it alone then.’

She nodded as she left. By himself once more, Nathan collapsed onto the couch. As he took a mouthful of beer, his eye was drawn to the darkened window. He paused, bottle halfway to his mouth. Something was different. The night was somehow not as black as it had been.

Nathan hauled himself to his feet and looked out through the glass. His reflection stared back at him, with an expression he didn’t quite recognise. He gazed beyond it, into the night. From the angle of the window, it took him a moment to process what he was seeing.

A pair of headlights, their beams piercing through the dark. He could hear a soft hum. In the otherwise empty driveway, Cameron’s car was running.

The white light was blinding. Nathan put his arm up to shield his eyes from the headlights, but it made no difference. His night vision was shot. He stood alone on the driveway. He couldn’t see into the car. He could see nothing, in fact, but the brilliant cones of light.

He made himself walk straight to the driver’s side and his hand was on the door when it clicked open. The interior light went on. It was no match for the headlights and it still took Nathan’s eyes a minute to adjust.

Xander sat behind the wheel.

‘Jesus.’ Nathan dropped his hand. ‘You scared me.’

Xander said nothing, just stared out through the windscreen. Nathan walked around the front of the car, his shadow slicing through the perfect beams of light. He tried to open the passenger-side door. It was locked. For a split second, Nathan realised he wasn’t sure what his son was going to do next. A beat passed. Then Xander leaned over, lifted the old manual door lock and let him in.

‘You couldn’t have turned the lights down?’ Nathan blinked. ‘I can’t see a thing.’

No apology. That was new. His vision still a little dazzled, Nathan looked at his teenage son slumped in the seat, and possibly for the first time ever, found himself wondering what his ex-wife would advise.

‘What are you doing?’ he said.

‘Nothing.’ That was probably partly true. Xander wasn’t wearing a seatbelt and the car was in neutral with the air conditioner running. It didn’t look like he’d been planning on going anywhere.

‘Okay.’ Nathan sat back. In the ghostly glow of the headlights, he could see the smear of dead insects and baked-on dust on the glass. A large part of his reluctance around fatherhood, he had realised after Xander was born, had been fear. It had been deep and ingrained in a way that Nathan tried to keep buried. He had not told Jacqui. Instead, he had stumbled his way through by thinking about how his own father would react to any given situation and then – with sustained effort at times – doing exactly the opposite. A lot of the time, that meant simply shutting his mouth, so that’s what he did now.

He settled in, making himself comfortable against the worn car seat. Xander turned his head but didn’t say anything as Nathan closed his eyes. Nathan wasn’t worried; he could do silence better than anyone he knew. He could literally go weeks without speaking, and had done, several times. Xander, raised amid city bustle and constant noise, would talk first.

‘I really liked Uncle Cam.’

Nathan opened his eyes. Not even three minutes, he could see from the clock on the dashboard.

‘It’s strange without him.’ Xander’s voice was quiet.

‘I know.’ Nathan did understand. Sometimes he felt that everywhere he looked here, he was reminded of Cameron. The pair of them practising cricket in the yard as kids, pushing themselves to outdo each other on horses as teenagers, trying to make a living from the land as men. Cameron had always been methodical in his approach to life. He had thought through what he needed to do to achieve his desired outcome, then he’d done exactly that. Nathan leaned more towards having a crack and hoping for the best. Cameron’s way proved better, time after time.

‘I came out to search a bit more.’ Xander nodded at the nearest shed. ‘See if I could work out what Uncle Cam might have lost.’

‘If Lo was right.’

‘Well, yeah, exactly. Who knows?’ Xander shook his head. ‘And it’s pointless anyway. You could search for something until you died out here and never find it. There’s too much bloody space.’

‘I suppose.’

‘It’s true.’ Xander turned to Nathan, his voice more urgent. ‘I’ve been thinking. You should leave here.’

Nathan blinked. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Leave your property. Move away. Do something completely different.’

‘Like what? What are you talking about?’

‘Come to Brisbane.’

‘I can’t come to Brisbane. What would I do in Brisbane?’ Nathan tried to imagine himself. Concrete under his boots. Walls everywhere. Cars all over the place.

‘Do anything,’ Xander was saying. ‘There must be some other job you could do. Work in a park or something. It doesn’t have to be in an office.’