The Lost Man(31)

But the wedding had gone ahead, like it or not, and afterwards Keith had carved off part of his own extensive property and called it a peace offering. It was a relatively small strip directly bordering the Bright family’s land, and Keith had presented it to the newlyweds as a gift. Consider it a foothold in Kirrabee Station, he’d explained. If they made it work and outgrew it, they could buy out more from him over time.

Nathan had privately had a few doubts about that bit of land. The strip on that side of the fence had never looked good to him, but Jacqui had been excited, so he hadn’t said anything. She’d encouraged him to pour resources into it, set them up properly as a family property with one eye on the future. Nathan took the third of Burley Downs he inherited when his dad died, and sold half his share to Cameron.

His new land swallowed up the money as fast as he could put it in. Jacqui couldn’t understand it. She encouraged him to sell the remainder of his Burley Downs stake. Invest more. Try harder. Her dad made good money from property, why couldn’t Nathan? He refused to sell the rest of his inheritance and that was their first big fight as a married couple.

Jacqui went to stay with her parents for a few days. When she came back, Nathan voiced his opinion out loud that the land Keith had given them was a dud. That was their second big fight and Jacqui had climbed straight back in the car and disappeared to her parents’ house for another few days. And it occurred to Nathan, as he watched her drive away from the shitty piece of property, that possibly that was exactly what Keith had been hoping for.

Nathan now felt the wheels go over a bump and told himself to focus. The ground was uneven and Cameron’s car was unfamiliar. The last thing he needed was to get bogged in a sandbank. Up ahead, Harry’s car was slowing again. He had stopped twice more along the way, getting out to examine the ground along the fence line, or turn in a slow circle, taking in the surroundings.

‘What does he think he’s going to see at the grave?’ Xander said as it came into sight.

‘I don’t know,’ Nathan said. ‘But he’s known Cam since he was born. Maybe he just wants to see for himself.’

‘Maybe.’ Xander didn’t sound convinced.

Nathan had missed Xander even more than he’d expected when Jacqui had finally left for good. She’d been threatening it for so long it was almost a relief when it happened. She was absolutely sick of things. Nathan was a crap husband, crap dad, crap bloody provider and she let him know it. Nathan had thought he would be glad to see the back of her, but the separation from Xander felt like a physical blow.

He had found himself poring over photos. Looking at Xander’s happy face, his small hands and his thick hair, already with a bit of a wave. Nathan even missed hearing him cry out in the middle of the night, like an engine warming up. When Xander had been a baby, Nathan used to sit next to the cot in the dark and play his guitar softly. It had been one of the only things that seemed to soothe him for a time and Nathan had been surprised when Jacqui found that more annoying than helpful.

Nathan had refused to fight with her in front of Xander. It wasn’t the kid’s fault he and Jacqui didn’t get along. It probably wasn’t all her fault either, Nathan could admit in his more honest moments. It had been a hard few years, both being married and being separated, and since Jacqui had left, he’d found that sometimes he did feel better. Like when he was lying in the back of his car with a nice Dutch barmaid. But he always missed Xander.

Nathan sometimes wondered what would have happened that day if he had ignored Keith at the service station, got in his car and driven straight home. He could have shaken his father-in-law’s hand on the way past – he could have punched him full in the face – and things still would have worked out better in the long run.

He hadn’t done either of those things. He’d finished paying for his fuel and Keith called out to him across the forecourt.

‘You need to know, Nathan, Kathy and I are going to pay for Jacqui’s lawyers.’

‘Bullshit.’ Nathan stopped mid-stride just metres from his car.

‘It’s true.’

‘I don’t bloody doubt it’s true.’ Nathan changed direction and came close to Keith. ‘I mean it’s bullshit that you’re sticking your oar in.’

‘We feel you’re being unreasonable –’

‘Me?’

‘– and we want to make sure Jacqui’s well represented. And Xander.’

‘Xander’s fine, mate. He doesn’t need your help. He needs to see his dad from time to time, that’s what he needs.’

‘Nathan –’

‘If your bloody daughter –’

‘Hey, watch yourself.’ Keith sounded out of breath.

‘No, you watch yourself. If your bloody daughter had her way, I would never see him at all.’

Keith didn’t reply, but the answer played out across his face as clearly as if he’d said it. Yes, ideally.

Nathan felt a stirring of fear. He’d expected some pushback on the custody arrangements, but he hadn’t considered they would go that far. They couldn’t cut him off from Xander completely, could they? He thought not, but then Keith had some pretty deep pockets.

Nathan took a step in, raised a finger and pointed at his former father-in-law. He could see Kylie, the service station attendant, watching them through the window. Later, she would be quick to say that Nathan was behaving aggressively. Right then, he didn’t care.