The Lineup(106)

Knock. Knock.

The door opens and Knox waltzes in looking like he just pulled himself out of a dumpster, wearing holey sweats and a Brentwood Baseball shirt that must be at least a decade old.

“Come on in,” I say, my head resting against the back of my couch. I’m watching football, not giving two shits who wins, and drowning myself in potato skins.

Piles and piles of potato skins.

I’ll need to run at least ten miles a day until spring training to wear off all the fat in these things. Here’s hoping they go straight to my ass and make it even juicier than before.

Knox grabs a beer from my fridge for the both of us and then flops on my couch next to me. Before he leans all the way back, he picks up a potato skin and shoves the whole thing in his mouth. “These are cold,” he says with a mouthful.

“Yeah, I made them two hours ago.”

“Great.” Knox quickly chews and swallows. “We haven’t seen you since the fundraiser. That’s strange for you.”

“Are you saying I’m an annoying neighbor?”

“A little.” He chuckles and then nudges my shoulder. “Seriously, dude, what’s up? Still bummed about Dottie?”

“Bummed? More like confused.” I drag my hand down my face, pausing to rub my eyes for a few seconds. “I don’t know, dude, am I being a fool here?”

“Want some honesty?”

“Yeah, I need something, because I’m drowning right now.”

“Okay.” He sits up and props one leg on the couch so he’s facing me. “What if I told you Dottie is moving back to California?”

“What?” I sit up, and potato skin flakes fly off my chest. “What do you mean she’s moving to California?”

“She’s leaving. She popped over to our apartment yesterday and told us the news. She resigned from her job at her dad’s company and is starting a company where she trains women to be their own boss. She’s excited about it, but she said it might be best to have a fresh start, so she’s going back to California.”

“But . . . what about you guys? The baby?”

Knox shrugs. “I honestly think it’s too painful for her to stay, be around everyone, around you.”

“That’s her own damn fault,” I say, even though it feels bitter passing by my lips.

“Yeah, I get where you’re coming from, man. When Emory broke up with me in college, I was fucking pissed. And then she left without saying bye. It was a tough pill to swallow. I didn’t want to talk to her even though I promised we’d always be friends. Every text I sent her was like swallowing a basketful of knives. I harbored that anger, held on to it for so long, and I punished her because of how angry I was. I said stupid shit, did stupid shit, because I wanted her to hurt as bad as I hurt, and do you know where that got me?”

“Where?”

“Eight years of being without my girl because of my stubborn ass. I still don’t agree with what she did, I still think she stole years from our lives of being together. But it forced me to sit back and reflect: did I want to be right? Or did I want to be happy?” He points to his chest and says, “I wanted to be happy. So I chose to forgive and forget, to move on, because we’re humans and we all make mistakes, even if there was intention behind those mistakes.”

“You think I’m being a fool?” I ask, Knox’s words sinking in with each breath I take.

“I think you’re a fool if you let her move back to California.” He sips his beer. “What do you want, Jason? Do you want to be happy? Or do you want to be right?”

Well . . . fuck. When he puts it like that?

I bite my bottom lip and groan. “I want to be happy . . . and I love her,” I answer wearily.

“Then be the great man I know you are; go to her and be happy. Be happy for the both of you.”

The thought of seeing her again turns my nerves inside out and in all honesty, I do want to be happy, but I’m also fucking terrified I’ll get hurt again.





Chapter Thirty





DOTTIE





On a deep breath, I take in my office one last time. Security took my belongings to my car already, but I wanted to spend a few more moments in the office where I became my own.

This is where I held my first interview as the boss, searching for the right employee.

This is where I secured one of the biggest deals of my life, proving I belonged in this position.

This is where my dad held me tight and told me he was proud of the woman I’d become.

And this is where the love of my life walked in, flowers in hand, with a date in his back pocket.

This is where it all started, and it’s sad to say goodbye to it, but it’s for the best. I know my new venture will be more satisfying and less stressful. The money obviously won’t be as great, but that’s never been a big deal to me. I want to feel fulfilled. I don’t feel fulfilled in Chicago anymore. Yes, my friends are here and I’ll miss them dearly, but it’s too painful knowing Jason is right across the hall and can pop in anytime when I’m visiting them. And even worse, when the wisest woman on the planet makes Jason her man . . . I wouldn’t survive seeing that.

I’m the one who messed up, so I’m the one who should leave.