The Life That Mattered (Life #1)(88)

Ronin’s lips twitched, but he managed to keep them from bending into a smile.

“I was hugging the edge of the bed with my back to Lila and Graham on the other side of her when he—out of the blue—suggested a threesome. I said nothing because I didn’t take his stupid suggestion seriously. Then the next thing I knew he was touching Lila and Lila was touching me.”

Ronin’s right eyebrow worked its way up his forehead.

“She fondled my breasts and teased my nipples with her tongue ring; then I made a quick exit into the hallway before things went any further,” I spewed out the words as fast as I could.

Nodding slowly, Ronin narrowed his eyes. “What was Graham doing while Lila was doing this to you?”

I wrinkled my nose, not wanting to replay that night. “I … I don’t know. Touching her, touching himself.” I shook my head. “I don’t like to think about it.”

He wet his lips and scraped his top teeth along his bottom lip several times. “How did it feel?”

I choked out a laugh. “No. We are not discussing this. It’s not therapy. You now know it was nothing like what you were just watching. It was a weird moment between friends.”

“Lila seemed to recall those memories with a sort of fondness. I think she liked your nipples.” He took a quick glance at said nipples.

I grabbed the sheet to cover my chest. “So…” I squinted “…me sitting on any part of Graham’s body nearly sent you into killer mode, but Lila messing with my breasts simply makes you curious? Had it been Graham’s tongue on my nipples, why would that have not been okay?”

“I’m a guy.” He shrugged; a boyish grin climbed up his face.

“That’s such a pathetic excuse.”

He tugged on the sheet, pulling it away from my chest. “Let’s be clear …” His hands slid from my hips, over my ribs to my breasts.

“Clear about what?” I framed his face with my hands, brushing my thumb over his lips.

He smiled, following my thumb with his tongue. “I’m the only one who touches you.”

“You …” I replaced my thumb with my lips, seeking the familiar taste of my husband, the comfort of his hands, the shelter of his body pressed to mine.

Life wasn’t easy. It wasn’t always beautiful. Some days it was flat-out cruel.

But … it was undeniably worth it.

The next morning, I woke before Ronin, feeling the dawn of reality crushing against my chest. My birthday was over. Our bubble would burst any second. Life would test us once again.

“It’s too early to lift the weight of the world.”

I grinned, glancing over my shoulder as Ronin stretched. My feet dangled from the side of the bed, daring me to touch the ground. After a night of remembering all the reasons I said, “I do,” it was hard to take that next step. So … I just let my feet dangle for a few more minutes.

“It is a heavy burden, but I think I’ll lift one thing at a time.” I bit my lower lip and wrinkled my nose, not wanting to name that thing.

“I’ll take a few days off, just to get through the initial withdrawal. There’s no reason I shouldn’t be able to do this on an outpatient basis. As long as I take the meds they give me, attend the suggested counseling, and join a support group, it should go smoothly.”

Ronin made me so proud. Even in his weakest moment, he proved he was still my rock. Perfection wasn’t strength. Righting your wrongs took more strength than anything. You were lucky to dodge the hits. Getting back up after being knocked down showed immeasurable strength and courage.

“You’re my superhero.”

He returned a sad smile, sitting up and dangling his feet from the opposite side of the bed. “We have a few rough days ahead of us.”

Us.

Ronin knew it was, had been, and always would be us.

“We’ve got this. Just let me ski backward until you find your balance.”





CHAPTER THIRTY





Ronin


One month later …

Madeline died.

I got better, and then she died. It was as if the universe was waiting for me to be strong enough to take care of my wife during her grieving. I knew it would hit her hard, even with having so many months to emotionally prepare for the loss. However, no one imagined Corey’s reaction.

Evie’s dad didn’t shed one tear.

Not. One. Single. Tear.

Until … she stopped breathing.

That was why his reaction knocked everyone back a few steps.

Graham made sure Katie got to Denver in time to be by her mom’s side along with Corey and Evelyn.

“I wouldn’t change a thing.” Those were Madeline’s last words.

Corey spent years being strong for her. So when he buckled over her lifeless body and wept, Katie and Evie left the room to give him his moment. They stood in the hallway and held each other, crying for him. Not for their mom—for him.

That was what we did. We grieved for the living, for those who still felt the pain, for those who would spend the rest of their lives desperately missing the ones who left us behind.

A week after the funeral, Corey packed one bag.

One. Single. Bag.

He left for California to be near Katie because she and Tanner were trying again to get pregnant, and he knew Madeline would have wanted him to help Katie the way they had helped us when Franz and Anya were babies. We felt certain he went back to California too because his parents were still alive, and he needed them. We never stopped needing our parents.