The Holiday Switch(47)

Once we’re in the living room, Carm pushes her food around on her plate. “So spill. What’s up? I can’t figure out what’s wrong with you.” She assesses my face. “Except maybe Teddy.”

    “Shh.” I bump her with a shoulder.

She protects her plate. “Whoa. Watch the goods.”

“Sorry, but no, it has nothing to do with him.” I stab a green bean with a fork.

“Liar. Pants on fire. If you were telling me the truth, you’d look straight at me. Did something happen at the train depot?”

“Nothing happened at the train depot.”

“Then why the incognito meet-up?”

“It’s because…” Despite my need to tell her everything, I hold back. I promised Teddy. “I can’t say.”

“You can’t say? Or won’t say.”

“It’s…it’s a secret.” A wave of shame overcomes me.

She rocks back. “A secret?”

“And not my secret to tell.” The shame is now to the third power. I have never kept a secret from Carm.

“So it’s his secret.” She frowns. “Which tells me you’ve gotten closer.”

I shrug. She’s right, in a way. From behind us, I can hear Teddy laughing with our parents. “What do you think they’re talking about?”

Carm doesn’t answer and instead takes a bite of her roll.

“You’re upset,” I say.

“I’m not upset. You’re just always involved with something else. First you were involved with work, and with your blog, and now with Teddy.”

Irritation rises inside me. But Carm’s face is scrunched in an expression that tells me she’s in no mood for debate. “What are you talking about? We saw each other every day at school, and when we’ve had time, we’ve done Mission: Holly.”

    “The little we’ve done of Mission: Holly. Which is basically one thing. You canceled on me before you started working with Teddy, then after meeting Teddy, you’ve done three things on the list with him.”

I open my mouth to remind her that she canceled once on me too; instead, I exhale. She’s right. My mind has been everywhere, and I haven’t been following through. “I’m sorry.”

Her rigid expression eases. “I’m sorry too.” She turns in the seat. “I don’t mean to be all clingy and dramatic, but this is our last holiday together. Who knows where we’ll be next year?”

My heart picks up speed. “What are you talking about? We’re going to be back here for winter break.”

“I know, but what if we lose touch?” Her gaze drops to her lap. “Ugh. I’m having a hard time explaining.”

“Carm?”

“Let me try again.” She takes a breath. “I’m actually happy for you. Seeing you so excited around Teddy is really great. But so much is changing.”

“Weren’t you the one who said that change was inevitable? And what else did you say?”

“It’s not all bad.” Her lips curl into a grin. “I should know better than to dispense advice.”

“You’re actually right, though. Things are changing. I feel it in everything. I even applied for that internship yesterday.”

Her face brightens. “Yeah? And how do you feel about the decision?”

“That’s the thing, I don’t know.”

“It’s okay not to know. But at least you’re keeping an open mind.”

    “I guess.” We settle into a silence. I reach for her hand and squeeze. “It’s going to be our holiday, Carm.”

At first she simply glances at our clasped hands. Then she looks up. “Really?”

“Really. We’ll figure it out. I still have work, but we’re going to conquer that list together.”

“So we’ll decorate cookies at Yule Be Baking?”

We did that same activity for Carm’s tenth birthday. I nod.

“Can it be just the two of us?”

“That sounds perfect. Just the two of us.”

“And we’re still on for ice-skating at Prancer’s tomorrow?”

I groan. “Me on skates is asking for trouble, but yes, I’m still down. We can invite KC if you want. His boyfriend is in town. Unless you don’t—”

“I do. And I’ll ask Aiden.”

“Aiden, huh?” I wriggle my eyebrows at her, and she play-shoves me.

“I’ll get everyone in the group chat. Maybe we can even squeeze in a couple more things during the day.”

“What’s up in the group chat?” Teddy comes around the couch, holding three cups of what looks like sparkling apple cider. He hands each one of us a cup and sinks into the cushion next to me. “For the dessert toast.”

“Ice-skating tomorrow. Want to come with us?” Carm asks, then tips the cup to her lips.

“I think he’s working.” I shoot eye-daggers at her. It’s one thing for me and Teddy to have this silly back-and-forth, but wholly another to make this a triple date.

“I don’t need to work until tomorrow night. I love ice-skating,” Teddy says.

    Of course he does.