The Guilt Trip(30)
“I wiped that smug grin off his face,” he’d said, as he’d furiously chopped onions that night. “It makes me so bloody mad. Why bother getting married in the first place, if you can’t keep it in your trousers?”
Rachel had laughed. “You sound like Paige. Are you sure you’re not a woman in disguise?”
She had never doubted his integrity for a second and she wasn’t about to start now. There were a hundred reasons why Ali could have been in their room this morning; she could have been taking him a coffee … asking him what he wanted for breakfast … seeing if Rachel was back from the supermarket. They were all perfectly justifiable. So why, then, did Jack deny seeing her?
Desperate to give him an excuse, Rachel wonders if Ali’s infatuated with him. If she thinks about it, every time they’ve seen each other recently, Ali’s been desperate to get Jack on his own. The last time they went for dinner, she disappeared to the bathroom as soon as he excused himself, and even that morning, she’d been quick to say she’d go running with him. Perhaps, he’s embarrassed by it; ashamed that he’s somehow led her to believe that something could happen between them, when all he’s done is be friendly. It’s not his fault that she doesn’t have the filter that most other women have when it comes to how you behave in that situation. She doesn’t have a filter in any situation.
“Is it too much?” Ali asks now in that little girl’s voice of hers.
Rachel hadn’t even known she was staring at her. She pulls herself up and forces a smile.
“It’s perfect,” she says. “You look stunning.”
Though Rachel can’t help but wonder that if this is Ali’s wedding eve outfit, what on earth is the day itself going to bring?
“You look gorgeous, honey,” says Will, grinning behind her.
“Thank you, baby,” says Ali.
“Doesn’t she, bro?” says Will, nudging Jack.
“Er, yeah,” says Jack awkwardly. As awkwardly as any man would, if he’d been asked by his brother what he thinks of his fiancée’s eye-popping outfit. “Yeah, you look great.”
Rachel can almost hear the squirm in his voice, not least because he’s been put on the spot, but also, she suspects, because he knows this very same woman, who purports to love his brother so much, was in his room that morning.
“Okay!” exclaims Ali. “That settles it. Let’s get this show on the road.” She excitedly grabs hold of Will’s hand and pulls her ever-riding dress down with the other as they head back through the house.
“I’ve never seen Jack look so uncomfortable,” says Paige as she follows Rachel into the minibus.
Rachel offers a tight smile. Her own erratic thoughts are enough to contend with, without Paige adding her unhelpful opinion to the shitstorm that is raging in her head.
As Noah climbs in, Rachel wills him not to sit next to her. Even though it would normally be the most natural thing in the world, Jack’s now made it feel the exact opposite. As if reading her mind, Noah takes the seat in front of hers.
“Who are we waiting for?” asks Will into the dark van.
“Jack just went to grab his jacket,” says Rachel.
“And Ali,” adds Paige, making Rachel’s jaw spasm involuntarily.
It’s ridiculous, but when Jack gets in less than a minute later, Rachel wishes the light was on so she could check for any signs that he’s been doing something he shouldn’t. Though, how she expects that to manifest itself, she doesn’t know. Perhaps an untucked shirt, a wipe of his lips, a hair out of place …
“Stop!” she silently screams as the internal monologue threatens to drive her insane.
“Ooh, you smell nice, Jack,” says Paige. “What have you got on?”
“Erm, it’s Creed,” he says, patting down his hair. “Aventus.”
“That’s the same one Ali bought me for my birthday,” says Will. “How funny is that?”
Rachel can sense Paige’s head turn toward her, but she doesn’t need to look at her to know what her expression will be saying.
“Right, let’s get this party started,” shrills Ali as she climbs on board with a bottle of champagne in her hand. She pops the cork and invites everyone to take a swig.
If she were eighteen, Rachel supposes she’d be the first to knock one back, but as a forty-two-year-old mother, she can’t help but feel it’s all a little tawdry and, if she is honest, a bit beneath her.
“Rach, you’re first up,” Ali calls out as she passes the foaming bottle back to her.
“No, no,” says Rachel. “I’m good, thanks.”
“Aw, come on, loosen up,” whines Ali. “It’s the night before my wedding.”
Rachel is still shaking her head as Noah holds out the bottle, the effervescent bubbles forming a froth on his hand. Perhaps she is too “up herself.” Maybe if she didn’t take life so seriously and had a more devil-may-care approach like Ali, her husband wouldn’t feel the need to …
She pulls herself back from going down that road. God, this is going to be a long night if she’s going to question her husband’s fidelity every time he looks at his brother’s wife-to-be.
“Down in one, down in one, down in one,” Ali sings, encouraging Rachel to be reckless for once in her life and dare to enjoy herself.