The Guilt Trip(27)
“I wouldn’t be able to forgive him,” she says to Paige, as the image of Jack’s head between Ali’s legs flashes into her mind’s eye again. “And I honestly don’t believe you would either, if it were Noah.”
“I think a lot of it would all depend on who he’s doing it with.”
Rachel looks at her with a vexed brow. “What difference does that make?”
Paige pulls her cardigan tighter around her and looks out across the ocean. “I think there are varying degrees of infidelity and the level of forgiveness would depend on which it was.”
Rachel scoffs. “You sound like you’re in court.”
“I’m just saying, I think the mitigating circumstances would need to be taken into account,” says Paige, smiling.
“So, what would be the circumstances you’d be willing to forgive?”
“As I say, it would make a huge difference depending on who the woman is. If she was a pretty young thing in the office and he was making a fool of himself and me, then I’d struggle to see my way past that. But if … I don’t know…” She waves her hand in the air. “If it were someone like you, who he had history and a deep, meaningful connection with, then I’d like to think that we could all talk it through and find a way to get past it.”
Rachel feels as if all her innermost thoughts are being exposed. “That doesn’t make any sense,” she offers as she desperately tries to shake off the uncomfortable sensation. “If I found out you and Jack were having an affair, it would be the end of everything … like immediately … that would be it.”
“What, you’d be happy to throw our friendship away…?”
“Absolutely!” exclaims Rachel, unable to believe she’d be expected to do anything else. “Without question.”
“Yet you’d entertain forgiving the floozy in the office?”
“No, but it would certainly be easier to understand, knowing that he’d probably only done it to massage his ego.”
“Can I ask you something?” says Paige, before adding, “Without you getting cross?”
Rachel nods.
“Do you think Ali’s ever come on to Jack in the past?”
Rachel feels a tightening across her chest, as if Paige knows something she doesn’t.
“I think that would be a new low,” says Rachel. “Even for Ali.”
“But we now know what she’s like,” says Paige. “And I wouldn’t put anything past her.”
“Even her fiancé’s brother?” asks Rachel, desperately looking for a line that even Ali wouldn’t cross.
“I’m not saying he’d ever reciprocate…” says Paige. “But I just wonder if something has happened, because he’s definitely not the same when she’s around.”
Rachel pictures Ali scurrying across the landing from their room and feels like she’s being hollowed out with a spoon, her chest an empty chamber of rib bones. She wants to tell Paige what she saw, but she knows that instead of allaying her fears, she’ll ignite them; turning what could well be an innocent interaction into one that has Jack and Ali making love in the shower.
“In what way?” asks Rachel hesitantly.
“He just doesn’t seem able to look her in the eye,” says Paige.
“And we know why that is,” says Rachel indignantly. “Because she’s cheated on Will.”
Paige nods her head. “Yes, but I just wonder if it’s something more than that. She’s different with Jack too.”
“Well, maybe she knows he knows,” says Rachel, feeling as if she’s clutching at straws. “Maybe this Rick fella has told her that Jack knows.”
Paige looks away thoughtfully. “Yep, you might be right.”
“I am right,” says Rachel, resolutely.
Paige puts a hand on Rachel’s knee. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything,” she says. “It’s just that sometimes that girl brings out the worst in me.”
“I get that, but she’s not really our problem,” says Rachel, trying to convince herself more than Paige. “Once this weekend’s over and done with, I would imagine Jack will try to put as much space between him and her as he can.
Paige offers a tight smile. “Let’s just hope we can all get through this weekend then.”
7
“You look absolutely gorgeous,” says Jack, as he comes up behind Rachel as she stands in front of the mirror. He smells like he’s already had a drink or two with the wedding party up at the hotel.
His hands fall on either side of her waist, fingering the soft silk of her dress as he kisses the nape of her neck. Even after all this time, he still manages to ignite something deep within her with just a touch of his lips.
As if sensing her ardor, a grin spreads across his lips and he looks at her reflection with mischievous eyes.
Rachel swallows the unexpected threat of tears. “Are you happy?” she asks, through tremoring lips.
He laughs, though Rachel can’t help but wonder if it’s false.
“With you?”
She nods as she watches him carefully.
“Of course I am,” he says. “I can’t believe you even need to ask.”