The Good Widow(56)

And she’d had no doubt that he would. It had begun to feel like Nick was obsessed with taking care of her. As if she weren’t capable of it herself. But still, she didn’t back down. The idea of being up that high scared her.

But when James told her he’d planned all of these excursions, she heard herself saying okay. Even though she wasn’t okay with any of it at all.

But she wanted to be with him, wherever that was, even if it meant driving on a road with no guardrails.

The thought sent a shiver through her. It wasn’t just them anymore. There was a baby to consider. She needed to tell him. She needed him to know. But something was stopping her. That bad feeling was back again. Overpowering her. Consuming her. She sucked in a deep breath.

“And . . . ,” James said, and Dylan looked over at him. “The views of the Pacific—they’re some of the best on the island.”

Dylan frowned.

“And right before we get to the back side, we’ll see the ‘Ohe‘o Gulch, also known as the Seven Sacred Pools. I think we should stop there. They’re supposed to be to die for.”

“I’m not sure anything about the drive to Hana would be worth dying for!” Dylan pushed James in the shoulder.

“Yeah, sorry, probably not the best phrase to use.” James shook his head.

Dylan smiled. “Why do they call them the Seven Sacred Pools?”

“As the story goes, if you swim up all seven tiered pools, you’ll be welcome in heaven,” James said, watching her face.

Dylan thought about James’s words. And the way she’d been feeling all day—as if a black cloud were following them. She wanted to tell him that they should just go back to the hotel and relax—spend time together the way she wanted to.

“Look, if you don’t want to take the back road, I get it. I don’t want to push you. But there’s just something about being here with you that makes me say, ‘Fuck it, let’s live!’”

That familiar and dangerous feeling swelled inside of her. Hope. And she couldn’t control herself; she reached out and grabbed it and held it tight as she listened to James.

“This is considered one of the most spectacular drives in the world, and I think we should make the most of our last full day together.” He paused and locked his eyes on hers, reminding her that they had to go back. To reality. She just wished she knew what that was going to look like. “We can hike in—it’s not far at all—and swim in the pools. Or just dip a toe in, whatever you want, and then have a picnic; I was thinking it would be a good place for us to talk,” he said, and Dylan felt a weight in the pit of her stomach. Was this why he was acting so strangely? Because he had something to tell her? Was he going to break up with her? Or could he be leaving his wife?

“What? You don’t agree?”

Dylan hadn’t realized she’d been moving her head back and forth. She looked into James’s eyes, so full of life, the life she’d breathed into him. She decided to push the bad feeling away and trust him. To see where this road would take them. Hoping that at the end of it there would be a future—for all three of them. And she decided right then that she was going to confess that to him, no matter what his response was—good or bad.

“Let’s do it,” Dylan said, and kissed him. “I’m ready.”





CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT


JACKS—AFTER

When I was sixteen and Beth was seventeen, she kicked a boy’s ass for me.

Okay, so she didn’t exactly kick his ass, but a slap was involved. And it left a mark.

I’d just found out that Alex Henderson had asked another girl to Homecoming, which was a problem because Alex was my boyfriend and he’d already asked me.

“He what?” Beth adjusted her backpack on her shoulder and fiddled with the knot on her denim shirt.

I leaned my head against my locker and told Beth I’d heard from my friend Janet, who’d heard from her lab partner, Carrie, that he’d asked Heidi O’Reilly to the dance.

“But he’s your fucking boyfriend.”

“Apparently he’s not anymore,” I said, a tear rolling down my cheek that I quickly wiped away with the sleeve of my sweatshirt. “He told Heidi we were broken up.”

“What the hell is wrong with him? What a jerk. I never liked him.”

My eyes pooled with tears, but I held them back. “You don’t like anyone I date.”

Beth gave me her well, can you blame me? look. “I’m going to find him.”

“No, don’t,” I pleaded. The last thing I needed was a scene. I already felt stupid enough that he’d dumped me and hadn’t even bothered to let me know.

“Too late,” she said, heading toward the quad where he and the other basketball players would sit during lunchtime.

I trailed behind her, trying to convince her to stop, but she marched forward, her backpack bobbing up and down behind her.

“There he is. Alex!” she yelled as she approached him.

Alex whipped his head around at the sound of his name, shrugging at the two guys he was talking to as Beth approached. I couldn’t see her face, but I knew the expression that was fixed upon it. It was her scowl. And that combination of knotted eyebrows and pursed lips could scare the shit out of anyone. She dropped her backpack and barreled toward him, calling him an asshole. I stopped short as a small crowd gathered, wishing I could disappear into the grass when she asked him how he could do this to me. Then Alex’s eyes found mine, and for a moment I thought he was going to come to me, explain it had all been a misunderstanding.