The Girl with the Louding Voice(7)

After he climb inside his car and was going, I keep thinking, who is this man, and how he knows my mama? When Mama return and I tell her Mr. Ade from the Abroad of the UK come and see her, she shock. “Mr. Ade?” she keep asking as if she deaf. “Mr. Ade?”

Then she was starting to cry soft because she didn’t want Papa to hear. It take me another three weeks to be asking her why she shock and cry. She tell me that Mr. Ade is from a rich family. That many years back, he was living in Lagos, but he come to Ikati to be staying with his grandmother for holiday season. One day, Mama was selling puff-puff and Mr. Ade buy some. Then he just fall inside love with her. Big fall. She say he is her first man-friend, the only man she ever love. The two both of them was suppose to have marry theirself. But my mama didn’t go to school, so Mr. Ade family say no marriage. When Mr. Ade say he will kill hisself if he didn’t marry Mama, his family lock him inside aeloplane and send him to the Abroad. After Mama cry and cry, her family force her to marry Papa, a man she didn’t ever love.

And now, my own Papa is wanting to do the same to me.

That day, Mama say, “Adunni, because I didn’t go to school, I didn’t marry my love. I was wanting to go outside this village, to count plenty moneys, to be reading many books, but all of that didn’t possible.” Then she hold my hand. “Adunni, God knows I will use my last sweat to be sending you to school because I am wanting you to have chance at life. I am wanting you to speak good English, because in Nigeria, everybody is understanding English and the more better your speaking English, the more better for you to be getting good job.”

She cough a little, shift herself on the floor mat, keep talking. “In this village, if you go to school, no one will be forcing you to marry any man. But if you didn’t go to school, they will marry you to any man once you are reaching fifteen years old. Your schooling is your voice, child. It will be speaking for you even if you didn’t open your mouth to talk. It will be speaking till the day God is calling you come.”

That day, I tell myself that even if I am not getting anything in this life, I will go to school. I will finish my primary and secondary and university schooling and become teacher because I don’t just want to be having any kind voice . . .

I want a louding voice.



* * *





“Papa?”

He is sitting in the sofa, keeping his eyes on the tee-vee, looking the gray glass face of it as if it will magic and on itself so that he can be watching the elections news.

“Papa?” I move to his front. It is nighttime now and the parlor is having dim light from the candle sitting on the floor, the white of the stick is melting itself and making a mess beside the sofa leg.

“It is me, Adunni,” I say.

“My eye is not blind,” he say, speaking Yoruba. “If the food is ready, put it inside plate and bring it come.”

“I am needing to talk to you, sah.” I low down and hold his two legs. My mind is shocking at how his leg keep thinning more and more since Mama have dead. Feel as if I am grabbing only cloth of his trouser leg.

“Please, Papa.”

Papa is one hard man, always stronging his face and fighting the whole everybody in the house, and this is why I was wanting Enitan to follow me come beg him. When my papa is in the house, everybody must be doing as a dead person. No talking. No laughing. No moving. Even when Mama was not dead, Papa was always shouting her. Long times ago, he beat her. Only one time. He give her one slap, swelling her cheek. He say it is because she talk him back when he was shouting her. That womens are not suppose to talk when mens are talking. He didn’t beat her again after that, but they didn’t too happy together.

He look me down now, his forehead shining with sweat. “What?”

“I don’t want to marry Morufu,” I say. “Who will be taking care of yourself? Kayus and Born-boy are boys. They cannot be cooking. They cannot be washing cloth and sweeping the compound.”

“Tomorrow, Morufu will bring four he-goats to this compound.” Papa hold up four thin fingers and start to speak English: “One, two, ti-ree, four,” he say as spit fly from his mouth and land on my up lip. “He is bringing fowl too. Agric fowl, very costly. Bag of rice, two of it. And money. I didn’t tell you that one. Five thousan’ naira, Adunni. Five thousan’. I have a fine girl-child at home. At your age, you are not suppose to be in the house. You are suppose to have born at least one or two childrens by this time.”

“If I marry Morufu, that means you are throwing all my futures inside the dustbin. I have a good brain, Papa. You know it, Teacher know it. If I can be finding a way to go to school, I can be helping you when I get a good job. I am not minding to go back to school and be old of all in the class, I know I can learn things quick. Soon, I finish all my educations, become teacher, and then I will collect monthly salary-moneys to build you a house, buy you a fine car, a black Benz.”

Papa sniff, wipe his nose. “There is no moneys for food, talk less of thirty thousan’ for community rent. What will becoming teacher do for you? Nothing. Only stubborn head it will give you. And sharp mouth, because the one you are having is not enough, eh? You want to be like Tola?”

Tola is Mr. Bada child. She is twenty-five years and look like a agama lizard with long hair. Mr. Bada send her to school in Idanra town and she is now working inside bank there and is having motorcar and money, but she didn’t find husband. They say she is looking everywhere for husband but nobody is marrying her, maybe because she is looking like a agama lizard with long hair or maybe because she is having money like a man.