The Friends We Keep(60)
His publicist had come up with a strategy involving Lori Lenone, a hot young female singer from Australia who was looking to build her profile in the US, and the two of them staged a “romance,” kicking off on the island of Nevis, where they were photographed with a long-lens camera while relaxing at the private and luxurious Montpelier Plantation, lying on sun beds and kissing, Lori straddling his back to rub sunblock into his shoulders, leaning down to plant a kiss.
The paparazzi had been planted, as had the moves. They were photographed holding hands as they strolled along the sands at sunset, gazing into each other’s eyes over lunch at the Four Seasons, unable to keep their hands off each other as they waited for dinner at Bananas Bistro.
Everyone picked up on the story, given that the gay rumors were at their height, but after a couple of months, Topher phoned his agent and said enough. He couldn’t stand the vacuous conversation with Lori anymore. Their lack of chemistry, even for a friendship, had gradually morphed into not being able to tolerate being around each other, and when his agent suggested a breakup followed by another staged romance, Topher said no.
He was forty-two years old, and no longer interested in living a lie. So he was gay. So what? It mattered to him more when he was young, when he thought he might be interested in a Hollywood career, but as a soap star who was signed up to play Agador in La Cage aux Folles on Broadway for a six-month run during the sabbatical, he didn’t care anymore.
His only stipulation was that he come out on his terms. It was his brilliant agent who not only suggested the memoir, but got a huge bidding war going, which, in itself, was an excellent publicity move.
The publisher had offered a ghostwriter, but Topher’s ego wouldn’t hear of it. He fancied himself a writer, even though he hadn’t written anything since college. But the idea of being a writer appealed to him. He had taken to going to the New York Public Library after filming, settling down in a quiet corner to get his book written, breaking it down into chapters, going back as far as he could remember. He couldn’t remember much. And the words didn’t flow in the way they did when he had imagined writing. Most of the time he would sit and stare at the blank screen, sighing. He would jot down memories, but it was so hard to put the words together, and the memories he had were few and far between.
In the evenings, when he wasn’t out with Dickie, he would read other memoirs, trying to figure out how other people managed to do it. Surely it couldn’t be as hard as it seemed.
Writing, and remembering, were the hardest things he had ever done, far harder than acting. Dickie kept trying to persuade him to use a ghostwriter, but Topher was convinced he could do it, even when all the evidence was pointing otherwise.
He was in a small bookstore in Maine when he stumbled upon a self-published memoir. At that point he was reading every memoir he could get his hands on, and even though he had never heard of the author, the writing was beautiful. Topher saw now what his book needed. Phrases as beautifully constructed as these. He wrote them down, peppering them throughout his book to remind himself, and suddenly it got easier.
It wasn’t a long book, but he finished it, finally, and with much relief. The literary ambitions he had held when his agent first suggested a memoir had well and truly disappeared. He never wanted to write anything again as long as he lived.
The book was out that morning, and the preorders were through the roof, thanks to the National Enquirer running a piece about Topher being gay.
Topher was taking a sabbatical from the soap in order to do a thirty-city book tour before his theater engagement, kicking off with an interview with Ann Curry on the Today show. In truth, he suspected he wouldn’t return after the sabbatical. He had been on the show for years, and it was time for a new challenge, kicking off with the memoir. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to continue acting, but his publicist had made him swear he would never say this publicly.
Three publicists, one from the publisher together with the two from the soap, were with him, everyone excited about this interview, knowing that an interview like this on a show like this could propel the book up to the top of the bestseller lists.
Dickie and Stephen were still deep in conversation, both sharing stories that had everyone in the greenroom in stitches, Topher remaining quiet, leaving the room for hair and makeup (he was used to that, a bit of foundation to smooth his skin, concealer for the shadows, wax for his hair), worrying a little about what they would ask him.
And then there was no time to worry, they called him in and sat him on the sofa, and Ann reached over and shook his hand, and was so warm, so gracious, he instantly relaxed, and it was clear that she hadn’t just read the producer’s notes, but had read the book, and he thanked her profusely right before the cameraman started counting down to the end of the ad break when they were both going live.
“And with us today we have Topher Winthrop, who you will all recognize from one of my favorite soap operas, What Comes Around. He was in the news last year for his romance with Lori Lenone, and now he’s trying something completely different.” She reached next to her and held up a copy of his book. “Topher has written a memoir, Behind the Scenes, and Topher, I have to tell you, I could not put this book down. You talk about your first love, your mother, and your childhood in Greenwich, Connecticut, and what it was like going into acting. We follow Topher through his early days acting in New York, and there’s lots of juicy gossip from, literally, behind the scenes of What Comes Around.”