The Fixed Trilogy: Forever With You(93)

Maybe I didn’t want to call her after all.

“Mirabelle’s. This is Mira.” Too late to hang up now.

“Hey, Mira.”

“Laynie!” she exclaimed with her usual bubbly, happy tone. “I was going to call you and check in. Great minds. I have your dress altered and ready for you—do you want to pick it up before Saturday or change here that day? Or I could have it sent to you by courier.”

Dammit. Hudson hadn’t told her the news of our breakup. What the f*ck?

I definitely didn’t want to be the one to tell her that. But now I kind of had to.

“I…Mira…” I was having trouble finding the words. I decided to start somewhere else. “I can’t do your event. I’m sorry. I called to cancel.” Then, after a swallow, “Hudson and I…we broke up.” Why did it hurt so much more to say it out loud?

I swallowed again, bracing myself for Mira’s reaction.

“I know,” she said softly. Then she immediately perked up again. “Which is why I banned him from the store on Saturday. I don’t give a shit if he makes it to my event. But you—Laynie, I have to have you here. Please say you’ll still come. It would mean so much to me.”

My mouth went dry. I was not emotionally equipped to handle shock. Or anyone being nice to me. “Mira, no,” I floundered. “That’s not right. You can’t keep your own brother from your special day.”

“Yes, I can,” she insisted. “He doesn’t care about fashion. He does care about me. And you.”

Ah, there was the Mira I’d been expecting.

I clamped my eyes shut to ward off a new set of tears. “Please, don’t say that. I don’t want to hear about his supposed emotions.”

“Okay, okay. That’s fine. I wasn’t trying to meddle. I was simply trying to tell you that he already offered to not come before I banned him. He said he wanted me and you to be happy and so he was bowing out. Yes, I’d rather have you both there. Of course I would. But if it comes to you or him, I definitely choose you. You’re one of my models, and more importantly, you’re my friend. You’re like a sister, Laynie.”

I warred with my options. When I called, there’d been no way in hell that I planned to go to Mira’s event. I couldn’t be there with him. It would be impossible to be a model under those circumstances.

But her speech…

We had become friends, and I had hoped that we’d one day be sisters. She’d done a lot for me and Hudson, but truly, she’d also done a lot for just me. And maybe doing this for her would help me with closure.

“All right. I’ll do it.” Did I really f*cking just say that? “But you better swear to god that he will not be there. And this better not be a trick to get us together.”

“I swear he will not be there. Swear on my baby.” She paused. “Though that tricking you to get you together idea...”

“Mira—”

“I’m just kidding.” Her smile was evident in her voice. “Yay! Thank you, Laynie.”

“You’re welcome.” Sort of. “But don’t expect a cheery model.”

“You can do the serious/somber thing. I’m totes okay with that.” She lowered her voice. “And for the record, I don’t know what that f*cker did to mess things up with the two of you, but he’s a miserable wreck about it. I mean, completely and utterly broken up.”


For half a second, I actually felt joy. Was it because I was happy the * was as miserable as I was or because I thought his misery said something about how he felt for me?

It would kill me if I kept wondering about the validity of any of his emotions. I had to stop thinking about it. “Mira, if you’re going to keep telling me about him, I’m going to cancel.”

“No! Don’t do that.” She sounded panicked. “Just had to get that out there. I’m done now.”

“Okay, but no more.” Please, no more. Another deep breath. “I’ll change there on Saturday.”

She squealed. “I’m so excited! See you then.”

I almost smiled as I hung up.

“Well, look at that,” Liesl said as I handed her phone back. “You have some color in your cheeks.”

“It’s not possible.” I scrubbed my hands over my face. God, mourning was exhausting. And boring as hell. I had to find a way to move on. Mira’s event was a good first step. But I needed to take some other steps.

Like figure out what to do with the rest of my life.

Just thinking the thought seemed overwhelming. A tear rolled down my cheek. Seriously? Wasn’t I about f*cking cried out yet?

But it had to be done. I grabbed a Kleenex and dabbed at my eye. “I, um, I want to go to work.”

Liesl cleared her throat. “Are you sure?” My tears probably had her unconvinced.

“Not tonight. But tomorrow, yeah. I need to see if I can be there. I don’t think I can make a good decision about my future at the club without trying a shift out.”

Through all my struggles with obsessive love addiction, The Sky Launch had been my sanity. It had been the only thing to ground me when I’d been free falling. Now, as I was falling again, couldn’t it be the place to save me again?

If not, I had to find out what could. Because already, I was getting that restless feeling in the pit of my stomach—that anxious tickle that marked me as an addict no matter how healthy I was. It was another sign that it was time to start figuring out my future.