The Fixed Trilogy: Forever With You(107)

It suddenly occurred to me that we hadn’t talked about my job since our break-up. “Unless you’d rather I wasn’t working here.”

“Don’t ever think that.” His tone was harsh, final. “If you think you can’t work with me as your owner, I’ll give you the club.” He would too, knowing him.

And that was definitely not a gift I could accept. “I just want to keep my job, thank you.”

He softened. “It’s yours as long as you want it.” He pushed my hand that still held the envelope back toward me. “And the certificate—keep it. You can use it anytime you want. There’s no expiration.” His fingers lingered on mine.

Was this what we’d been reduced to? Stealing touches at any opportunity possible? Making up reasons to talk?

I pulled my hand—and the envelope—away from his. “Fine. Whatever.”

A chill ran through me, though the night was warm. Frantically, I searched for something else to say. “There’s another thing.” I took a deep breath. There really was something I’d been avoiding. “I need to get my stuff from the penthouse.”

His mouth tightened. “I wish you wouldn’t do that.”

I ignored him. It was the easiest way to deal with statements like that. Especially when I so liked the way they sounded on his lips. “I want to come get the rest of my things Monday.”

“I can have it packed and moved for you, if you’d like.”

“I’d rather pack it myself.” If he packed, I’d end up with all sorts of things that didn’t belong to me—things he wanted me to have. As sweet as it might be, I didn’t want his gifts. I also didn’t have any room for them in the apartment with Liesl. Even if we got a two-bedroom place together as we’d been talking about doing, we couldn’t afford anything that big.

“At least let me arrange a truck.” His tone was insistent, but his eyes were pleading. It was hard to resist.

So I didn’t. “Okay. You can do that.” Only because it was going to be a pain to do it myself. And he did owe me.

“It’s done.” His lip curled up at the edge. “This doesn’t mean I’m done trying to win you back.”

“I didn’t think for a second that it did.” Though I bit back a smile, my pleasure at his declaration showed in my voice.

Hudson tilted his head to study me. “You say that as if you almost enjoy my groveling.”

I rolled my eyes and turned toward the club with a wave. But I couldn’t resist calling back over my shoulder, “I couldn’t say, H. I haven’t really seen you grovel yet.”

***

Friday and Saturday saw more gifts delivered—a coffee table book of pictures from the Poconos and concert tickets to Phillip Phillips.

“He’s, like, recalling your entire relationship with this stuff, isn’t he?” Liesl said on Sunday as I opened the box that had arrived that morning. “I hate to say it, but he’s kinda good.”

I wadded up the brown packaging paper from the box and tossed it at her. “Shut up.”

“What’s this one?”

“I don’t know yet.” I pulled out the John Legend CD I found inside and read the song list on back. I knew of the artist but had never listened to any of his music. The case wasn’t sealed so I opened it easily and found Hudson’s note.

This is the song that makes me think of you. Track 6. - H

R&B. Huh. Hudson rarely listened to music around me. When he did, he deferred to me to choose. I didn’t even know what style he liked. Was this it?

I looked back at the song list and found track six. “All of Me,” I read out loud. “I don’t know it. Do you?”

“Never heard of it. Let’s stick it in.” She grinned and added her own, “That’s what she said.”

Shaking my head at her, I pulled out my new laptop, put in the disc and pushed play on the track Hudson had indicated. I leaned my head back against the futon and listened.

The song started with a haunting piano line. Then a tenor voice crooned about a beautiful woman with a smart mouth who had the singer distracted and spinning. He was a mess, but it was all good, because no matter how crazy she made him, she was still everything to him.

It was the chorus that had me in tears, when he sang about “all of me” loving “all of you” and offered to give all of himself to her in exchange for the same.

Sure, it was just a song, but if it really held the message that Hudson meant for me to hear, well, I couldn’t help but hear it loud and clear. If he could really give all of himself to me—no more walls, no more secrets—then what was left holding us back? The past?

But my own history was imperfect. I’d even shown him my flaws on more than one occasion. He’d forgiven me and stuck around. Fixed me and found me and made me whole.

And now…

Not saying a word when I set the song to repeat, Liesl sat next to me and pulled me to her shoulder.

“Liesl, I don’t care anymore,” I sobbed into her shirt. “Even if I shouldn’t be with him, I can’t live without him. He makes me feel better about me. I don’t care anymore about what he did in the past. I only care that he’s around in my future.”

She rocked me back and forth. “No one’s telling you what you should or shouldn’t do here. Either way, you got my support.”