The Fixed Trilogy: Forever With You(105)

His willingness to submit to me almost did me in. That had to be hard for him to give me the floor. He got a point for that one.

But he was so behind on the score that a measly point made little difference.

I took a breath and went on. “Even if I could trust you, Hudson, I wouldn’t want to marry a guy just because he scammed me and now he feels bad. And not in Vegas. I’d want my brother and Mira and Adam and Jack. And even Sophia.”

His expression turned hopeful. “You want my family at your wedding? Does that mean I have a shot at being the groom?”

“Once, you did. But now…” Oh, this was hard to say. “Now I can’t see how.”

Though it hurt for me to say the words, it was Hudson who appeared crushed. He closed his eyes and his jaw twitched as his entire body sagged. It struck me that the tables had completely been turned. Wasn’t it usually he who had the emotional control while I was left floundering? He who was even and strong while I fell apart?

Strangely, it didn’t feel any better to be on this side. Because though it seemed like I was in control, inside I was a mess.

Was this what it felt like to be Hudson Pierce?

I couldn’t think about it anymore. None of it. It was time to get off the emotional roller coaster and move the f*ck on.

There was no way to the doorway except through him. “I have to leave now, Hudson.”

He made no effort to move. “Alayna, let’s talk about this more. If not this plan, maybe we can talk about something else. Or no plan at all. Just talking to you is nice.”

“I can’t. I need to go.” I was done.

“Alayna…”

“Please,” my voice cracked, “let me go.”

Slowly, reluctantly, he stepped out of my pathway. But just as I was about to step through the door, he slipped in front of me. He put his hands on each side of the frame, not touching me, but blocking my way. “No, I’m not ever letting you go.” His words were raw with emotion. “I’ll let you leave here right now, but I’m not giving up on you. I’ll pursue you like I’ve never pursued anything in my life. I’ll fight until you have no choice but to believe that I love you with everything I am.”

He was so close. I could smell him, breathe him in the same way I had his pillow at the loft. But this was so much better because it was really him. Warmth rolled off him, calling me to his arms. If I simply leaned forward, I’d fall into him.

And the things he was saying—his vow to fight for me—it was hard to resist.

Then Liesl’s advice from that morning came back to me. It was too soon. I needed more time. “Hudson,” I kept my eyes down, unable to meet his gaze. “Let me go.”

He waited a beat, but then he did step back and I slid past, careful not to touch him, though every cell in my body yearned to do just that.

I managed to hold my head high as I walked away from him, even when he called after me. “I’m never giving up, Alayna. I’ll prove myself. You’ll see.”





Chapter Twenty-Three


I went into work that night to find a package with my name on it waiting in the office. “What’s this?” I asked Gwen.

“Beats me. A courier left it for you about half an hour ago. No message.” She went back to counting the money in the safe.

No way to know unless I opened it. Inside, I found a brand new Kindle. I’d never had an e-reader, but I’d used the Kindle app on my computer. I turned it on and found the device was filled with books. Flipping through them, I recognized the titles as the ones on my bookshelves in Hudson’s library. I picked up the wrapping, searching for a card, and finally found one—a simple note, handwritten:

In case you’re missing your books as much as I’m missing you. – H

I stared at the card for several minutes while I tried to quiet my pulse. He was really going to fight for me, then. The realization thrilled me. Gifts weren’t going to cut it though. I couldn’t give a shit about material items. The note—that I’d cherish.

Gwen swung the safe door shut and came to glance over my shoulder. “Ah, so lover boy’s trying to win you back.”

“Supposedly.” I tucked the note in my bra and waited for her traditional love sucks speech.

It didn’t come. “There could be worse things,” she said with more than a hint of melancholy.

It was possible she was right.

***

Sunday, a delivery service showed up at Liesl’s with a new futon mattress, much thicker and of higher quality than the old one. The card this time read: You should be sleeping well even though I’m not. – H

I glared at Liesl. “How does he know I’m sleeping on a futon?”

She shrugged. “Maybe I said something in one of our texts.”

“You’re texting him?” Wasn’t she supposed to be on my side?

“He had your phone charger delivered the other night to the club. Guess he figured that’s why you hadn’t been responding to him. So I plugged it in and holy Jesus, Laynie, that thing was filled with texts.” She pulled her long hair over one shoulder. “Some of them made me feel a little bad for the guy. I texted him back.”

I swatted her shoulder—or more like shoved. “What the f*ck?”

“I told him it was me and not you.” As if that were the reason I was pissed.